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Old 03-25-08, 09:38 PM   #1
bellweatherman
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I've given up on her...


Well, she just won't call back. After all my time with her, and now this. I call. Leave message. Wait. Nothing. Days pass. Try again. Nothing. Repeat cycle. Try emailing instead. Nothing. I'm on week 2 now.

Things just weren't clicking and she was just really annoying. She's a terrible driver and really *****y. It's a side of her that is really distasteful. I've been giving her all the clues that I'm not interested in her. Problem is that she picked up on those clues, but now I think I'm changing my mind maybe. So, I figure I should call and talk to her, maybe meet her for coffee or something, but she won't call me back. Not even to say she got the voicemail message. I think I'm going to cut my losses and just forget about her because it's just time to move on. However, the pain and desperation I'm feeling now is pretty overwhelming. What to do? Should I make another attempt, one last desperate attempt from a guy that was once a confident and cocky SOB? sigh.....
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Old 03-25-08, 09:39 PM   #2
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Ummm. No.

You rejected her once, she's not going to go for that again. Sorry.

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Old 03-25-08, 09:41 PM   #3
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*EDIT*...


Get on your bike and try to get your mind off of it. I'm passing this advice off...i had my time for it, now its my time to give it
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Old 03-25-08, 09:41 PM   #4
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Old 03-25-08, 09:41 PM   #5
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This time you lost, swallow it and move on.
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Old 03-25-08, 10:01 PM   #6
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YES. Keep calling. If that doesn't work, then move onto to stalking her. Show up at her job drunk, that will impress her enough to take her back.
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Old 03-25-08, 10:04 PM   #7
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I think she hurt your feelings by not playing the game anymore.

And now that she isn't paying any attention to you, you might be feeling a bit "let down"?

Leave it be. Because if she DID start paying attention to you, you will not really go for it, because of the things you listed. And it will go back and forth. This is how people hearts get messed up. Quit playing the game. Don't let the game stroke your ego.
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Old 03-25-08, 10:06 PM   #8
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"Things just weren't clicking and she was just really annoying."

Keep reminding yourself of this.
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Old 03-25-08, 10:28 PM   #9
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I hope you didn't play the all high and mighty "i'm a cyclist and you're a horrible driver" angle.

A) She can always run you over.
B) It's probably over, YOU rejected HER.

Sounds like maybe you were a little quick to throw your criticism at her. On one hand, it sounds like it's over. On the other, you can see if she'll give you another chance. If she has enough patience to give you another chance, hang on to her like grim death.
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Old 03-25-08, 11:00 PM   #10
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love sucks

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Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
I think she hurt your feelings by not playing the game anymore.

And now that she isn't paying any attention to you, you might be feeling a bit "let down"?

Leave it be. Because if she DID start paying attention to you, you will not really go for it, because of the things you listed. And it will go back and forth. This is how people hearts get messed up. Quit playing the game. Don't let the game stroke your ego.


I don't get it. Why do people think I'm playing games with her? Maybe she is playing games with me? I'm not saying I'm an angel or anything. Far from it. I've never wanted her so badly. And yes, she is a total b*tch sometimes. I don't know what to make of this. It was like a three weeks ago, she was calling me like at 11:30PM on Fri night, and then the next day. I kept telling her that I was busy and you know, brushing her off, but I kept promising that we would get together soon. Then now all the sudden, she won't call me back. And it's been like over 2 weeks since I started leaving messages. That didn't work. So, I tried emailing her today. Still. No response.

I am, dare I say, desperate. And not really functioning well at all. That's why I am on this internet forum. Because it would be a total embarrassment to tell my real friends about my despair. I am quite the cocky, arrogant, self-assured man in real life. But what a f-ing wimp I have become. I would seriously get on my hands and knees for this girl. sigh.....
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Old 03-25-08, 11:04 PM   #11
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You're being a bit self centered if you think you can just lay down the rejection line and then reel her back in whenever you please. She has an ego too and i'm sure it was hurt by your lack of desire to be with her. She's human...

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. I am quite the cocky, arrogant, self-assured man in real life. But what a f-ing wimp I have become.
What a wimp you've become? I think that most cocky arrogant and self-assurred men act that way because they are such wimps. It's an easy cover to hide behind. I know...first hand, trust me.
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Old 03-25-08, 11:09 PM   #12
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I don't get it. Why do people think I'm playing games with her? Maybe she is playing games with me?
You are taking me wrong. I didn't mean it that way. I meant BOTH of you are doing it to each other. She feels it, you don't. You feel it, she doesn't. It's wearing both of you down.

Don't do this to each other. Don't "play". (you know what I mean now? ) I'm sorry you are hurting.
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Old 03-25-08, 11:27 PM   #13
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You know what is better than being cocky and arrogant ?

Being honest and truthful about how you feel and being able to tell this girl what you love about her and what bothers you in this relationship, if there is still a relationship to be had.

That does not make a man a wimp... it makes him a man.
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Old 03-25-08, 11:51 PM   #14
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So, here's what you're saying:

"I've been giving her all the clues that I'm not interested in her."

"Problem is that she picked up on those clues."

"now I think I'm changing my mind maybe"

"I kept telling her that I was busy and you know, brushing her off, but I kept promising that we would get together soon."

But now:

"Far from it. I've never wanted her so badly."

If I were her, I'd be thinking, all this dude wants is a booty call.

And, not to be cruel, but I'd be thinking that this guy is a "cocky, arrogant" ass in real life.

You gave her no chance, you brushed her off. Why would she want anything more to do with you?

If you find yourself fortunate enough to have her respond, drop the attitude, and be a real man.

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Old 03-26-08, 12:42 AM   #15
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If I were her, I'd be thinking, all this dude wants is a booty call.
And, not to be cruel, but I'd be thinking that this guy is a "cocky, arrogant" ass in real life.
You gave her no chance, you brushed her off. Why would she want anything more to do with you?
If you find yourself fortunate enough to have her respond, drop the attitude, and be a real man.

East Hill

Ummm, how did you know that? I mean, yeah, so you're right. There were many times that I just was thinking purely about the booty call with this girl. I enjoyed the sex very much. Wow. She was just fantastic. But then, I just kinda got tired of her. I mean, not the sex, but it was like you know. After the sex part was over I started to see a side of her that was like really distasteful to me. She is basically really short-tempered and I'm kinda chilled and laid back. And she's VERY COMPLICATED. So, I'm not sure if I distanced myself from her or she distanced herself from me.

I am a real man. Just that I'm real hurt and it's just been awhile since I've been dumped because that sort of thing doesn't happen in my world. If I was cocky before, I wish I could get that back.... sigh.

You'll see what I'm saying. The girl is just beautiful. I'll find a nice pic and post one soon. And she was going after me just last month before I was brushing her off because she was annoying me. Now, I want her back so bad.
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Old 03-26-08, 01:16 AM   #16
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You're a real man? What's that entail?

Suck it up and move on. Treat people better. Cut out the games. That's my definition, at least.

Be true to yourself first, then you'll be ready for a relationship (after a few other things get fulfilled, of course).
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Old 03-26-08, 02:23 AM   #17
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Was there some kind of prequil to this thread I missed?
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Old 03-26-08, 04:46 AM   #18
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This is typical. You don't miss her, and you don't want her back. She annoyed you. What you miss is having *someone* there.
You miss the routine of having a partner, not that particular one.
Go find someone better and move on.

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Old 03-26-08, 06:11 AM   #19
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Dont waste your time with someone who isn't interested. You shouldn't have to play games like this.
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Old 03-26-08, 07:12 AM   #20
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You'll see what I'm saying. The girl is just beautiful.
That's the only positive thing you've said about this girl. In this entire thread. (Er wait, other than the fact that the sex was good.) So...

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And she was going after me just last month before I was brushing her off because she was annoying me. Now, I want her back so bad.
...what is it that you really want from her? Does she really have any qualities outside of looking good and being good in bed that you like? Sounds to me that you want her because now you realized you can't have her. I think that's why Siu said "stop the game playing".

It's been two weeks. I really don't think you'll hear from her again. Just make sure you learned something from all this.
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Old 03-26-08, 07:16 AM   #21
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It's really a stomp on the ego when a woman who is annoying and a (moderator censored) rejects a "confident, cocky" guy. I mean, who is SHE to do that to HIM? Who the heck is SHE to reject a guy like HIM?

If you were confident, this wouldn't be bothering you.

Let it go. There are plenty of women who are meant for you.
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Old 03-26-08, 07:45 AM   #22
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Flip it. HTFU. Move on.

That is all.
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Old 03-26-08, 08:08 AM   #23
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You'll see what I'm saying. The girl is just beautiful. I'll find a nice pic and post one soon. And she was going after me just last month before I was brushing her off because she was annoying me. Now, I want her back so bad.
Don't. Posting her picture on the internet (even in foo) is getting into real stalker territory. For that matter, two weeks of unanswered messages is getting there too. Don't be that guy. Nobody likes that guy.
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Old 03-26-08, 08:15 AM   #24
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It doesn't sound like things were meant to be. Why push it anymore??? Just let it go.
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Old 03-26-08, 08:48 AM   #25
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I don't get it. Why do people think I'm playing games with her? Maybe she is playing games with me? ...
Why would you even want to continue in a relationship where games are being played? Trust is gone, and you aren't going to restore it with a couple of chats.

Sort out what you've learned from the episode and move on. It's over. Fini. Morte. The relationship is foaming at the mouth and flat on it's back with all four legs pointing towards the sky. Accept it, and you'll have a shot at being much happier in the (hopefully not too distant) future.
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