Cycling and bicycle discussion forums. 
   Click here to join our community Log in to access your Control Panel  


Go Back   > >

Foo Off-Topic chit chat with no general subject.

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 04-30-08, 05:49 PM   #1
MrCrassic 
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
MrCrassic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Bikes: 2008 Giant OCR1 (with panda bear on the back!)
Posts: 3,650
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Opinions: Internet Dating.

Since relationships are a popular topic here, I'd though I bite. Here's my story:

After breaking it off with my long-time ex-girlfriend about a year ago, I felt that, over time, a really huge piece of me was missing. Even though getting much more involved in cycling helped filled that void, it did not close it (and is a bit far from doing so). Given this, it's been a little tough getting back on the scene. I've tried (and haven't stopped) chatting up some women when I moved to Brooklyn, with little success. Furthermore, before moving (in August), things with a girl I was dating at the time went much worse than I expected, setting me back even further in this regard.

With a few recommendations, I tried searching it out on the internet, with some luck. I did land something of a relationship for four months (after several months of moderately trying to find one), but throughout that time, that gaping hole was still there, and was growing larger.

So I ask the BF community this: what do you think about internet dating? I would consider myself a reasonably social guy (outside of the web, of course), but what are your perceptions on just searching on the net. Even though I did it before, I still have some doubt going back to it again...

All of your responses will be much appreciated!
__________________
Ride more.

Code:
$ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
 $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces
MrCrassic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 06:09 PM   #2
DrPete 
Dirt-riding heretic
 
DrPete's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Gig Harbor, WA
Bikes: Lynskey R230/Red, Blue Triad SL/Red, Cannondale Scalpel 3/X9
Posts: 17,415
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I found my wife on match.com, FWIW.
__________________
"Unless he was racing there was no way he could match my speed."
DrPete is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 06:09 PM   #3
nekohime
I... Don't care.
 
nekohime's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Sunny SoCal
Bikes:
Posts: 1,279
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Done it before, met three nice guys, one of whom I had a 7mo-ish relationship with.
__________________
Wanna join my charity folding bike ride? Sign-up here!
Quote:
Originally Posted by AEO View Post
you should learn to embrace change, and mock it's failings every step of the way :p
nekohime is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 06:26 PM   #4
Tude 
Blasted Weeds
 
Tude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Rochester, NY
Bikes: Trek 1200C, Specialized Rockhopper, Giant Yukon FX, Giant Acapulco
Posts: 1,182
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
hmmm, quit one - one real stinker on there who was just odd (his profile and all his e-mail notices incorporated the idea and sayings that "If you want the real thing - you got it here". - I blocked him out and realized that most all men in my matches do not post pics. Quit that site totally and deleted everything.

OK onto another larger site - started out fine - but met (not in person) and emailed several times until it seemed like another person sat down at his computer and he became a complete pervert. Banned him. In the meantime a couple other interesting people "showed" up and had one date with one who seemed nice - but HE called for date 2 and disappeared from the face of the earth, am not calling him.

Have another person of interest, who is very busy - AND WHO RIDES A BIKE - getting ready to join me on one of my rides. We'll see ...

I'm still kinda thinking about this thing - I mean I have several people - who really seem nice - but are NOT who I would date - I mean our profiles are so different that I think some of these guys just ping off every female living around them. Meaning I get one notice that is one sentence "I like your profile", and the next notice is "I want to meet you".

Um, no.

I have several friends/acquaintances who DID meet their SO's - a couple who married via internet dating sites - but my opinion is still open ...
__________________
Tude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 06:29 PM   #5
Feathers
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Bikes:
Posts: 444
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
too many kooks out there! friends-of-friends seems to be a better method to meet singles.
Feathers is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 06:37 PM   #6
Tude 
Blasted Weeds
 
Tude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Rochester, NY
Bikes: Trek 1200C, Specialized Rockhopper, Giant Yukon FX, Giant Acapulco
Posts: 1,182
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Feathers View Post
too many kooks out there! friends-of-friends seems to be a better method to meet singles.
Unfortunately I've met some of my friends-of-friends - including a friend who (as it turned out) fixed me up with her weirdo ex-husband - good grief - the guy picked me up in a van - and when passenger door was opened - garbage fell out - I pulled myself up to the seat only to find a PAIL between the seats that was the ASHTRAY!!!! It was an absolutely Odd freakin night and then I find out it was her ex-husband. OY! We went out to a dinner at a safe restaurant (place where I used to do the catering out of and knew everyone) which went well - but thereafter was him driving around from parking lot to parking lot so we could "talk" because he isn't comfortable around people. Needless to say ... I did some fast talking to get out of that van!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I've been living in my local area so long that I've said no several times over to the locals in the local bars I stop in (old mom & pops bars with the same old Cheers like people in there - nice people but not where I want to go) - just friends. I'm not being picky but I don't want to live in these bars - where most of those people do - every day there, no real outside activity unless there's a keg involved.
__________________
Tude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 06:39 PM   #7
Taerom
Hazardous
 
Taerom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Quarantine
Bikes: 2005 Trek Liquid 55, 2009 Haro Mary SS
Posts: 727
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just use the "how hot are these guys" thread.

haha, j/k
Taerom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 06:39 PM   #8
edbikebabe
runnin' down a dream
 
edbikebabe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Somewhere out there
Bikes: Turner Flux, Orbea Onix Dama.
Posts: 2,764
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Did it, met a few nice guys, dated one for a couple of months.

Nothing wrong with trying it & seeing what happens. There are lots of sites, including cyclingsingles.com
edbikebabe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 06:47 PM   #9
huerro
Villainous
 
huerro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Austin
Bikes: Trek 420, Cyclops
Posts: 1,894
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I did it quite a bit after a big cross-country move. I had some good dates and some pretty boring ones, but never any horror stories. I also met one of my good friends and riding buddies this way and she has gone on to meet the love of her life on the same site we met on.

Go for it!

(I also wrote, on a whim, the single greatest Craig's List ad ever posted, which got me lots and lots of responses. I'll let you use it in New York only. PM me for internet dating gold.)
huerro is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 07:12 PM   #10
Tom Stormcrowe
Out fishing with Annie on his lap, a cigar in one hand and a ginger ale in the other, watching the sunset.
 
Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: South Florida
Bikes: Techna Wheelchair and a Sun EZ 3 Recumbent Trike
Posts: 16,120
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My brother not only found his wife on the internet, but moved to the Philippines to be with her.

It's working out great, by the way and I'm really happy for him. He owns his own business now and has a pretty good life (I'm actually even a tad jealous! 2 housekeepers, a nanny for the kids, and a house in the mountains above Cebu, and he was near broke when he left.)
__________________
. “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant
Tom Stormcrowe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 07:16 PM   #11
slvoid
2-Cyl, 1/2 HP @ 90 RPM
 
slvoid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: NYC
Bikes: 04' Specialized Hardrock Sport, 03' Giant OCR2 (SOLD!), 04' Litespeed Firenze, 04' Giant OCR Touring, 07' Specialized Langster Comp
Posts: 15,762
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
How old are you? I got 2 single friends in the brooklyn, both decent italian chicks.

EDIT: I know I sound like it but I'm not a pimp.
slvoid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 07:20 PM   #12
ElJamoquio
Burning Matches.
 
ElJamoquio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: San Jose, CA
Bikes: Motobecane Le Champion SL, Cervelo P2SL
Posts: 9,666
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 93 Post(s)
Internet dating: a lot like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase 'Upside your head'.
__________________
Reacting is mind candy; it requires no thought. Thinking is tedious.

Bikeforums 'Group Buy': Kinlin Rims, Sapim/DT Spokes, Formula/Bitex Hubs


"The only good race pace is suicide pace, and today looks like a good day to die."
-Steve Prefontaine
ElJamoquio is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 07:21 PM   #13
ElJamoquio
Burning Matches.
 
ElJamoquio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: San Jose, CA
Bikes: Motobecane Le Champion SL, Cervelo P2SL
Posts: 9,666
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 93 Post(s)
PS - I loves me the Eye-tal-ian chicks, sl.
__________________
Reacting is mind candy; it requires no thought. Thinking is tedious.

Bikeforums 'Group Buy': Kinlin Rims, Sapim/DT Spokes, Formula/Bitex Hubs


"The only good race pace is suicide pace, and today looks like a good day to die."
-Steve Prefontaine
ElJamoquio is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 07:24 PM   #14
slvoid
2-Cyl, 1/2 HP @ 90 RPM
 
slvoid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: NYC
Bikes: 04' Specialized Hardrock Sport, 03' Giant OCR2 (SOLD!), 04' Litespeed Firenze, 04' Giant OCR Touring, 07' Specialized Langster Comp
Posts: 15,762
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Haha... I'm actually serious...

EDIT: about the dating thing, not the pimping thing. I'm not a pimp.
slvoid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 07:28 PM   #15
lodi781
was kung-fu fighting
 
lodi781's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Connecticut
Bikes: '00 schwinn moab disk/06 specialized stumpy fsr expert, 06 look565
Posts: 72
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Met an ABSOLUTE PSHYCO on there who made my life a living hell for 7 months after we dated.....other than that, ya it's great go for it.....
lodi781 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 07:41 PM   #16
Tude 
Blasted Weeds
 
Tude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Rochester, NY
Bikes: Trek 1200C, Specialized Rockhopper, Giant Yukon FX, Giant Acapulco
Posts: 1,182
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by lodi781 View Post
Met an ABSOLUTE PSHYCO on there who made my life a living hell for 7 months after we dated.....other than that, ya it's great go for it.....
<amazed look> Ok then .... that makes me feel even more comfortable!!!
__________________
Tude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 07:42 PM   #17
ManBearPig
1/2 man,1/2 bear,1/2 pig
 
ManBearPig's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: .
Bikes: .
Posts: 1,122
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
There are some quality people in the mix, but there are no shortcuts to the dating process. Once you weed thru the matches to find someone who looks interesting and who is also interested in you, that simply begins the process. You still have to communicate, meet, get to know each other, identify chemistry, invest time in the person. It's not magic, and if you believe it will work like magic it will either help you have a positive attitude or it will discourage you when you realize it's still hard work. That's been my experience. I have met some quality people, educated people, and people with common interests, but it's never quite been Ms. Right. Still, it seems like a great idea in theory -- allowing you to pre-screen potential dating interests to find people who are available and who meet all your pre-requisites (e.g. non-smoker if you are a non-smoker, redhead if you like redheads, etc.).

I've had both good and bad experiences. Among the bad: a girl who confessed her criminal record over dinner, and later drank a few beers and started bouncing off the walls; another girl who felt it appropriate to have platonic male sleepovers while dating; another girl who felt it appropriate to have platonic male sleepovers while dating....and some really good experiences: e.g. 2-3 different physicians with great intellect but with whom one of us ultimatley didn't feel the chemistry; another girl with whom dating didn't work, but with whom I have since reconnected with as good friends. That's life. You'll meet crazies anywhere.
__________________
...

Last edited by ManBearPig; 04-30-08 at 08:11 PM.
ManBearPig is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 08:23 PM   #18
Jerseysbest
J E R S E Y S B E S T
 
Jerseysbest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: DC
Bikes:
Posts: 1,849
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Holy crap, I dabbled in online dating for a bit. Exchanged a few emails with this one girl and chatted online once, and then talked on the phone twice. Something about the girl seemed off, so I bailed. Girl called me like 15 times a day for the next 4 days and texted me nonstop. Worst part was that she lived in my town, there was a chance I'd run into her (hopefully not while on my bike and her in a car).

But I did meet a few really nice, very attractive, surprisingly normal girls that I just didn't "click" with. Friend of friends is still the best, but online is in 2nd place, and not a bad option if you're in a new area.

Sorry if I offend anyone, but beware, lot of uglies and fatties ya got a wade through, some with extremely outdated photos. I'm not a prize myself, but I ain't desperate.
Jerseysbest is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 08:48 PM   #19
Tude 
Blasted Weeds
 
Tude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Rochester, NY
Bikes: Trek 1200C, Specialized Rockhopper, Giant Yukon FX, Giant Acapulco
Posts: 1,182
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jerseysbest View Post
Holy crap, I dabbled in online dating for a bit. Exchanged a few emails with this one girl and chatted online once, and then talked on the phone twice. Something about the girl seemed off, so I bailed. Girl called me like 15 times a day for the next 4 days and texted me nonstop. Worst part was that she lived in my town, there was a chance I'd run into her (hopefully not while on my bike and her in a car).

But I did meet a few really nice, very attractive, surprisingly normal girls that I just didn't "click" with. Friend of friends is still the best, but online is in 2nd place, and not a bad option if you're in a new area.

Sorry if I offend anyone, but beware, lot of uglies and fatties ya got a wade through, some with extremely outdated photos. I'm not a prize myself, but I ain't desperate.

And some scary looking ones too!!!!
__________________
Tude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 08:57 PM   #20
b_young
Support JDRF
 
b_young's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Arkansas
Bikes: Specialized Sirrus, Specialized Roubaix Elite
Posts: 874
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by slvoid View Post
Haha.. I'm not a pimp.

Kind of on the subject and I dont want to highjack, but anyone ever hear of or thought about Courting?
We are considering it for the kids.


SL = pimp.
b_young is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 08:57 PM   #21
cycle17
Warrior Cyclist
 
cycle17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Davis, CA
Bikes: 07 Madone SL, 06 Madone 5.5 & 04 5500
Posts: 1,548
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've met two of my last three girlfriends on the internet. Both of those relationships were good ones. Meeting in person or through some other means would not have made the relationships last longer. And I'm still on a friendly basis with both. In fact...I just met a really, really nice women on the internet after moving to NM. We chatted, we met and we get along great. I think the key to using the internet for friendships or dating is to have a good amount of conversations BEFORE you ever met in person. Find out how the person responds to questions, comments and just life in general. Then take it to a couple of telephone conversations, so you can see how you communicate live. If that all goes well, then you can decide to met in person.

Just my two cents...
__________________
Just Do It..
cycle17 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 09:26 PM   #22
overthere
fredelicious mini-masher
 
overthere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: sunny CA
Bikes: Specialized Hybrid Specialized Dolce Elite, Specialized Ruby
Posts: 1,094
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've tried it - I AM trying it! I've met nice guys (Mr. Handsome, Houston) and not so nice (Psuedo-Stalker, Mr. First Date Butt Grabber, Mr. McLoud, the NeatFreak, etc..) and two 'Divorced - no, Separated!'

I went to online because realized that I didn't even KNOW many single men. And I'm involved with my local bike club and play with the local tennis club. I do both of those activities and more, 4-5 days a week.

I think I just look scary...only half joking. The guys I play tennis with nicknamed me 'Killer #1'

So it's something to try. Go for it. It's nice meeting new people.

I've pretty much decided I need someone that cycles, though. Who else would understand my gnarly tan lines?
I'm trying out fitness singles, and am on Plentyoffish (free site).
__________________
Way too many hobbies...
overthere is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 09:40 PM   #23
cycle17
Warrior Cyclist
 
cycle17's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Davis, CA
Bikes: 07 Madone SL, 06 Madone 5.5 & 04 5500
Posts: 1,548
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
If I lived in Cali instead of New Mexico...I'd look you up overthere! But meeting the right people in your area can be kinda' tough. So online is not such a bad thing sometimes.
__________________
Just Do It..
cycle17 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 10:20 PM   #24
Tude 
Blasted Weeds
 
Tude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Rochester, NY
Bikes: Trek 1200C, Specialized Rockhopper, Giant Yukon FX, Giant Acapulco
Posts: 1,182
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by overthere View Post
I've tried it - I AM trying it! I've met nice guys (Mr. Handsome, Houston) and not so nice (Psuedo-Stalker, Mr. First Date Butt Grabber, Mr. McLoud, the NeatFreak, etc..) and two 'Divorced - no, Separated!'

I went to online because realized that I didn't even KNOW many single men. And I'm involved with my local bike club and play with the local tennis club. I do both of those activities and more, 4-5 days a week.

I think I just look scary...only half joking. The guys I play tennis with nicknamed me 'Killer #1'

So it's something to try. Go for it. It's nice meeting new people.

I've pretty much decided I need someone that cycles, though. Who else would understand my gnarly tan lines?
I'm trying out fitness singles, and am on Plentyoffish (free site).

hehe I'm still trying it but man there's some players out there. <Tude dresses in ninja costume, looks left, then right - douses the area with High Karate cologne and sinks into a wary crouch ....>
__________________
Tude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-30-08, 10:28 PM   #25
NitroPye
Guest
 
Bikes:
Posts: n/a
Mentioned: Post(s)
Tagged: Thread(s)
Quoted: Post(s)
I did a lot of internet dating. Had plenty of those dates where you see the person and you try to get away before they see you because they did a bang up job of making themselves look way different. I'm not super into the looks but it doesn't bode well when the person you are hoping to maybe in the future start a trusting relationship with in a way lies about how they look. Shows a lack of confidence too. Not attractive.

That being said, met a hot redhead from match and things are going great! Taking her out for our first mountain biking session together this weekend
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:38 AM.