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Thread: Sharks

  1. #1
    Banned. ModoVincere's Avatar
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    Sharks

    A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, so during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. 'I will give anything they desire of mine, to the man who swims across that pool.'

    So the party continues with no events in the pool, until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the
    party run to the pool to see what has happened.

    In the pool is a man and he is swimming as hard as he can, and the fins come out of the water and the jaws are snapping and this guy just keeps on going and the sharks are gaining on him and this guy reaches the end and he gets out of the pool, tired and soaked.

    The millionaire grabs the microphone and says, 'I am a man of my word, anything of mine I will give, my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So sir what will it be?' the millionaire asks.

    The guy grabs the microphone and says, 'Why don't we start with the name of the ******* that pushed me in!'

  2. #2
    Pretty Hate Machine Weeks's Avatar
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    Hey isn't there a joke forum?

    A guy moves up to Alaska and enters a bar. He notices all the regulars give him dirty looks, so he walks up to them and says, "what's up guys?"
    They glare at him and say, "Don't talk to us, stranger. You aren't an Alaskan". The man frowns and says, "Sure I am, I live here, Just moved up!" The regulars shake their heads, "No no. That's not enough to make you a real Alaskan."
    The guy asks, "So okay, what do I have to do then? What makes me a real Alaskan?"
    The bar patrons all look at each other, then finally one speaks up, "Well, there's three things you gotta do. Number 1 - you gotta stay out all night in the wilderness, by yourself, with no food or water; number 2, you gotta kill a bear barehanded, and number 3, you gotta have sex with an Eskimo chick!"

    The man blinks and then shrugs, "That sounds weird, but whatever, I'm game." So he goes out that very night and wanders into the heart of the wilderness. The next morning he comes back, freezing and starving but alive. The men say "Alright not bad, but you still got two more challenges ahead of you!" So he goes out again that night into the wilderness.

    When he returns, he is almost completely naked, and covered in deep scratches and blood; his face is bruised and his hair is askew. He walks funny and limps. The guys all look at each other, impressed, and finally one of them pipes up, 'So how did it go?'

    The man says, "I don't wanna talk about it. So where is this Eskimo chick I'm supposed to kill?"

  3. #3
    Banned. ModoVincere's Avatar
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    yes there is...I'm an idiot who didn't take the time to check which window I was posting in...but what the heck...let's have a fun thread too, instead of just political issues or religious discussions/bashing.



    edited....Mods....can't live withem, can't live with out them...and apparently some like to play with threads while the move them!
    Ps...thanks for moving it.
    Last edited by ModoVincere; 05-02-08 at 09:07 AM.

  4. #4
    Behold my avatar: dgodave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ModoVincere View Post
    ....
    The guy grabs the microphone and says, 'Why don't we start with the name of the ******* that pushed me in!'
    Does the millionaire own the ******* who pushed the swimmer into the pool?
    .
    Is this a slave owning society? Or perhaps they have a consensual dom/sub relationship thats recognised by the swimmer.
    .
    .

  5. #5
    My name is Mike, not Cal
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    Quote Originally Posted by dgodave View Post
    Does the millionaire own the ******* who pushed the swimmer into the pool?
    .
    Is this a slave owning society? Or perhaps they have a consensual dom/sub relationship thats recognised by the swimmer.
    .
    ^ Funnier than the actual joke.
    "I got my lips chewed off by a dingo!" --David Letterman

  6. #6
    Your imaginary friend. fuzzbox's Avatar
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    So I herd thar wer sharks in here.

    Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.

  7. #7
    Banned. red house's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Weeks View Post
    Hey isn't there a joke forum?

    A guy moves up to Alaska and enters a bar. He notices all the regulars give him dirty looks, so he walks up to them and says, "what's up guys?"
    They glare at him and say, "Don't talk to us, stranger. You aren't an Alaskan". The man frowns and says, "Sure I am, I live here, Just moved up!" The regulars shake their heads, "No no. That's not enough to make you a real Alaskan."
    The guy asks, "So okay, what do I have to do then? What makes me a real Alaskan?"
    The bar patrons all look at each other, then finally one speaks up, "Well, there's three things you gotta do. Number 1 - you gotta stay out all night in the wilderness, by yourself, with no food or water; number 2, you gotta kill a bear barehanded, and number 3, you gotta have sex with an Eskimo chick!"

    The man blinks and then shrugs, "That sounds weird, but whatever, I'm game." So he goes out that very night and wanders into the heart of the wilderness. The next morning he comes back, freezing and starving but alive. The men say "Alright not bad, but you still got two more challenges ahead of you!" So he goes out again that night into the wilderness.

    When he returns, he is almost completely naked, and covered in deep scratches and blood; his face is bruised and his hair is askew. He walks funny and limps. The guys all look at each other, impressed, and finally one of them pipes up, 'So how did it go?'

    The man says, "I don't wanna talk about it. So where is this Eskimo chick I'm supposed to kill?"

    booooooo.... people who don't like to walk on eggshells and just step on toes whenever they feel like it - need to come up with their own jokes... or at least give the credit where credit's due when they 'appropriate' the jokes of others.. -real talk. I'm barakah obama and I approve this message. absolutely.

  8. #8
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    sharks are scum
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  9. #9
    My tank takes chocolate. FlowerBlossom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    sharks are scum
    ...sounds like the Stars lost...
    Feminism is the profound notion that women are human beings.

  10. #10
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fuzzbox View Post
    So I herd thar wer sharks in here.
    How did I know Fuzzy would stop in on this thread?
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

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