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  1. #1
    Banned. ModoVincere's Avatar
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    It's a man thing.....

    Your last name stays put.
    The garage is all yours.
    Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    Chocolate is just another snack.
    You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.
    The world is your urinal.
    Hot wax never comes near your private areas.
    You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
    Same work ... more pay.
    Your rear end is never a factor in a job interview.
    Wrinkles add character.
    You don't have to leave the room to make emergency adjustments when your underwear rides up.
    Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100…’nuff said!
    If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
    People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?"
    One mood, ALL the time.
    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    You know stuff about tanks.
    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    You can open all your own jars.
    Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
    You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
    You can leave the bed unmade.
    You can kill your own food.
    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
    Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
    If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
    Everything on your face stays its original color.
    You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
    You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
    You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, "He must be mad at me."
    You don't mooch off other's desserts.
    You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
    If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become life-long friends.
    You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
    You don't have to shave below your neck.
    Your belly usually hides your big hips.
    One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
    You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
    Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes max.

  2. #2
    Senior Member hos13's Avatar
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    Never asks "Does this make me look Fat"
    "Don't give up, don't ever give up" jimmyv

  3. #3
    Spelling Snob Hobartlemagne's Avatar
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    Great list. but:

    Quote Originally Posted by ModoVincere View Post
    Hot wax never comes near your private areas.
    should say ....unless its poured from a lit candle onto you by your playmate

    The first rule of flats is You don't talk about flats!

  4. #4
    Belt drive! vtjim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ModoVincere View Post
    You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
    I do mine with my Leatherman Wave. Even file them smooth. One time I said to my wife, "Reason #152 why it's good to be a guy: We can trim our nails with multi-tools." She looked me and went:

  5. #5
    Senior Member MrCrassic's Avatar
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    I know nothing about tanks except that they're heavy and they blow stuff up.
    Ride more.

    Code:
    $ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
     $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces

  6. #6
    Senior Member hos13's Avatar
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    We change our own oil
    "Don't give up, don't ever give up" jimmyv

  7. #7
    Gears? CliftonGK1's Avatar
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    Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

    Underwear?
    "I feel like my world was classier before I found cyclocross."
    - Mandi M.

  8. #8
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    I sent this list to my wife for approval. I will get back to you as soon as she tells me I can.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  9. #9
    Spelling Snob Hobartlemagne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    I sent this list to my wife for approval. I will get back to you as soon as she tells me I can.

    The first rule of flats is You don't talk about flats!

  10. #10
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    The whip is right, but the other hand is empty. It should not be.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  11. #11
    Banned. ModoVincere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    The whip is right, but the other hand is empty. It should not be.
    Well, when I talked to here, she said it was usually "practically empty".

  12. #12
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Much better, is it not?

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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  13. #13
    Squirrelly Member trsidn's Avatar
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    so who's singing soprano?
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Yet more proof that I'm.. well, pretty much right about everything.

  14. #14
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  15. #15
    Squirrelly Member trsidn's Avatar
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    ^^^wondered when someone would post this pic...
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Yet more proof that I'm.. well, pretty much right about everything.

  16. #16
    Belt drive! vtjim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrCrassic View Post
    I know nothing about tanks except that they're heavy and they blow stuff up.
    The judges will accept that. You're in!

  17. #17
    hiphopopotamus wolfbrother's Avatar
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    Nice. I actually had a conversation about tanks last weekend with my girlfriend's brother.

    I would, however, change the 'doing your nails with a pocket knife' post. You don't really need a knife when you have teeth.
    living every week like it's shark week.

  18. #18
    crazy bike girl msincredible's Avatar
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    When I read "tanks" my first thought was, well, I have a plastic tank that holds about 3 gallons of gas.

    Oops, wrong kind. Guess I just proved I'm a girl.

  19. #19
    carbon positive lifestyle carbonlife's Avatar
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    Tanks are cool. I took this picture from the loader position of an M1A1 Abrams (the U.S. main battle tank). The guy there is sitting in the gunner position. The guy to the right is sitting in the commander position. The breech of the main *** is to the left, so I'm actually in no-man's land because I would get nailed when the *** went off.



    Cool tank fact: The M1A1 can aim and fire on targets while moving, giving it a huge advantage over tanks that don't have this capability.

  20. #20
    crazy bike girl msincredible's Avatar
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    I remember getting to climb on old WWI tanks at Cantigny when I was a kid.

  21. #21
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
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    Not to be a party-pooper, but meh to these kinds of lists. Why can't we all just get along?

  22. #22
    KombuchaCHIC Shadiyah's Avatar
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    Ditto on the G word here too.

  23. #23
    crazy bike girl msincredible's Avatar
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    Yeah, it's just in fun.

    Interesting to note that the woman's thread is full of rebuttals from guys, whereas the opposite hasn't happened here. Wonder which group takes teasing better.

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by carbonlife View Post
    Tanks are cool. I took this picture from the loader position of an M1A1 Abrams (the U.S. main battle tank). The guy there is sitting in the gunner position. The guy to the right is sitting in the commander position. The breech of the main *** is to the left, so I'm actually in no-man's land because I would get nailed when the *** went off.



    Cool tank fact: The M1A1 can aim and fire on targets while moving, giving it a huge advantage over tanks that don't have this capability.
    I've wondered how comfortable the seating is inside those things during a long run. Supposedly better than humvees from what I've heard.

  25. #25
    Senior Member scrapmetal's Avatar
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    I met this guy at church party. He was a retired navy chopper pilot. We found an interesting subject right away. They tought him to shoot rockets at russian tanks behind the second wheel on either side - and (other) they tought me to fix russian tanks.

    Just for the record, from the left side you will get the driver and on the right side is fuel tank with 100mm rounds in it; can't go wrong.
    Po všetkém hovno, enem po včelách med.

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