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Old 05-02-08, 01:38 PM   #1
msincredible
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It's a woman thing....

When a ship sinks, women (and children) get off first.
A woman can hug her best friend without worrying she'll think she's gay.
We can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
A woman can never be blamed if it's wet on the floor around the toilet bowl.
If a woman cheats on her spouse everyone will assume it's because she was being emotionally neglected.
We are capable of doing at least two different things to a passable standard at the same time.
We live longer than men.
We know how to cover up spots and other facial blemishes.
If a woman inexplicably disappears for two weeks, one of her friends will notice.
We mature earlier than men (some men never mature at all).
There are times when chocolate is really the answer to all woman's problems.
We don't feel uncomfortable with gay waiters or hairdressers.
We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
We know the truth about whether size matters...
A woman can take a drive without trying to beat her best time.
If a woman forgets to shave, no-one has to know.
We are capable of going longer than five minutes without thinking about either sex or football.
We never lust after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
Women can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
We can cry and get off a speeding ticket.
A woman can get a whole new lease on life just by changing her lipstick.
A woman can congratulate her team-mate without ever touching her rear.
Women don't have to worry about catching anything important in their zipper.
If a woman says something stupid, most men will just think she's cute.
We can admit to others when we've made a mistake.
If a woman cries, she's sensitive; if a man cries, he's a wimp.
Women know who their children are without having a DNA test.
It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mummy's boy.
We can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a short woman's complex.
We can watch one TV channel at a time without getting bored.
Women have total control over their eyebrows.
We can get drunk quicker and cheaper than men.
A woman's friend won't try to persuade her to get a tattoo while she's drunk.
A woman won't drive to Hell and back before she asks for directions.
We aren't covered with hair like shag carpeting.
Woman don't feel threatened if their partner earns more than they do.
We can keep pot plants alive for more than a week.
We're flexible.
We can get laid anytime we want.
We never have to buy our own drinks at the bar.
PMS is a legal defense for murder.
We don't have to constantly adjust our genitals.
We have a higher tolerance to pain.
We don't spend 45 minutes on the toilet.
We don't have to make fools out of ourselves to impress a man.
Our friends don't pick on us if we aren't sleeping with anyone.
Women look better naked
Women do less time for violent crime.
We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.
We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
We'll never have to decide where to hide the nose-hair clipper.
No one passes out when you take off your shoes.

...and...

2 words: multiple orgasms
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Old 05-02-08, 01:41 PM   #2
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What are doing the internet, get back to the kitchen
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Old 05-02-08, 01:43 PM   #3
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We live longer than men.
Yeah...this one surprising...maybe we die sooner cause we want to, after all
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Old 05-02-08, 01:46 PM   #4
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Yeah...this one surprising...maybe we die sooner cause we want to, after all
Don't say that, there may be someone out there who will help you obtain your goal .

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Old 05-02-08, 01:49 PM   #5
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Don't say that, there may be someone out there who will help you obtain your goal .

East Hill
its called a wife.
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Old 05-02-08, 01:53 PM   #6
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I got about halfway through your list, but then I got distracted thinking about sex and football.
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Old 05-02-08, 01:56 PM   #7
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What are doing the internet, get back to the kitchen
We're better at grammar too.
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Old 05-02-08, 02:00 PM   #8
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We're better at grammar too.
yes, you are
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Old 05-02-08, 02:36 PM   #9
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What's wrong with lusting over cartoon or computer game characters?
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A girl once asked me to give her twelve inches and make it hurt. I had to make love to her 3 times and then punch her in the nose.
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Old 05-02-08, 02:38 PM   #10
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What are doing the internet, get back to the kitchen
Note the "doing the internet" part. Sex, sex, sex, that really IS all you think about....
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Old 05-02-08, 02:39 PM   #11
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We're better at grammar too.
You may be better at "grammar", but I have better grammar.
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Old 05-02-08, 02:44 PM   #12
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Note the "doing the internet" part. Sex, sex, sex, that really IS all you think about....
I need a nap now.
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Old 05-02-08, 02:53 PM   #13
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I am not the typical guy, I don't pause often to think about football...

I also have no problem admitting women are better... that is why I like hanging out with them.

Well, that, and the real reason.
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Old 05-02-08, 02:56 PM   #14
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Note the "doing the internet" part. Sex, sex, sex, that really IS all you think about....
W3rd. I took the internet from behind last night in a move i like to refer to as the "big bang".
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A girl once asked me to give her twelve inches and make it hurt. I had to make love to her 3 times and then punch her in the nose.
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Old 05-02-08, 02:58 PM   #15
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W3rd. I took the internet from behind last night in a move i like to refer to as the "big bang".
Good stuff.
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Old 05-02-08, 02:59 PM   #16
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"We can keep pot plants alive for more than a week."

Is this really what you meant to type, Ms.I?

Also, I take umbrage with the fact that we men spend 45 minutes on the toilet. You ladies might not sit on the toilet for 45 minutes, but you damn sure can take up some time in the bathroom.
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Old 05-02-08, 03:01 PM   #17
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Women should know their Role
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Old 05-02-08, 03:03 PM   #18
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"We can keep pot plants alive for more than a week."

Is this really what you meant to type, Ms.I?
Oops!! No but that works too.
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Old 05-02-08, 03:03 PM   #19
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Also, I take umbrage with the fact that we men spend 45 minutes on the toilet. You ladies might not sit on the toilet for 45 minutes, but you damn sure can take up some time in the bathroom.
Exactly. In the 45 minutes a man takes to poop, a woman has showered, dried her hair, applied deodorant/makeup/perfume, and changed outfits up to three times.
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Old 05-02-08, 03:05 PM   #20
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Exactly. In the 45 minutes a man takes to poop, a woman has showered, dried her hair, applied deodorant/makeup/perfume, and changed outfits up to three times.
Then why exactly do we men still end up waiting on the womenfolk? Why?
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Old 05-02-08, 03:33 PM   #21
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Sometimes you just need a 45 minute break from work, and there's really only one place you can do that . . .
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Old 05-02-08, 03:44 PM   #22
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Sometimes you just need a 45 minute break from work, and there's really only one place you can do that . . .
King of the castle needs some time on his throne, am I right?
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Old 05-02-08, 04:15 PM   #23
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We don't have to constantly adjust our genitals.
You say that like it's an annoyance or something.





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Women look better naked
Advantage: man. Makes me wonder why there aren't more lesbians.

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Old 05-02-08, 04:19 PM   #24
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We can talk to attractive members of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
Hey, we don't *have* to picture them naked. It's a choice.
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Old 05-02-08, 04:25 PM   #25
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Yay for generalizations!
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