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Thread: I like toast

  1. #1
    Senior Member hos13's Avatar
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    I like toast

    My nephew sent this to me. I thought it was funny, so here is some toast for you.


    Enjoy
    "Don't give up, don't ever give up" jimmyv

  2. #2
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Soul Food Cafe

    [Jake and Elwood enter and sit at the counter.]

    Aretha:Help you boys?
    Elwood:You got any white bread?
    Aretha:Yes.
    Elwood: I'll have some toasted white bread please.
    Aretha: You want butter or jam on that toast honey?
    Elwood: No ma'am, dry.
    Jake: You got any fried chicken?
    Aretha: Best damn chicken in the state.
    Jake: Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.
    Aretha: You want chicken wings or chicken legs?
    Jake: Four fried chickens and a Coke.
    Elwood: And some dry white toast please.
    Aretha: You all want anything to drink with that?
    Elwood: No ma'am.
    Jake: A Coke.
    Aretha: Be up in a minute.

    [She goes back to the kitchen]

    Aretha: We got two ******* out there dressed like Hacedic Diamond merchants.
    Matt: Say what?
    Aretha: They look like they're from the CIA or something.
    Matt: What they want to eat?
    Aretha: The tall one wants white bread, toast, dry with nothing on it.
    Matt: Elwood!
    Aretha: And the other one wants four whole fried chickens and a Coke.
    Matt: And Jake! ****, the Blues Brothers!

    [Matt goes out into the cafe]

    Matt: Hi Jake.
    Jake: Matt. How you doing?
    Matt: Hi Elwood. How ya doing? How was Joliet.
    Jake: Oh it was bad. Thursday night they'd serve a wicked pepper steak.
    Matt: Can't be as bad as the cabbage role at the Terra-Phelevo Penn.
    Elwood: Or that oatmeal at the Cook County slammer.
    Matt: Well they're all pretty bad.
    Jake: Matt, me and Elwood, we're putting the band back together. We need you and Blue Lou.
    Matt: Oh man. Don't talk that way round here. My old lady, she'll kill me.
    Elwood: Ma'am you gotta understand that this is a lot bigger than any domestic problems you might be experiencing.
    Aretha: Matt, what the hell is he talking about?
    Matt: Don't get roused sugar.
    Aretha: Don't you "Don't get roused sugar" me! Now you not going back on the road no more, and you ain't playing no more two bit sleazy dives. You're living with me now, and you're not gonna go sliding around with you old white hoodlum friends.
    Matt: But babe, this is Jake and Elwood. The Blues Brothers.
    Aretha: The Blues Brothers! ****, they still owe you money, fool!
    Jake: Ma'am, would it make you feel any better if you knew that what we asking Matt here to do was a holy thing?
    Elwood: You see, we're on a mission from God.
    Aretha: Don't you blaspheme in here! Don't you blaspheme in here! Now this is my man and my restaurant and you two are gonna just walk right out that door, without ya dry white toast, without ya four fried chickens and without Matt guitar Murphy.
    Matt: Now listen to me. I love you, but I'm the man and your the woman. And I'll make the decisions concerning my life.
    Aretha: You better think about what you're saying. You better think about the consequences of your actions.
    Matt: Oh shut up woman!


    Song - Think - Sung by Aretha with customers backing and dancing


    [Matt undoes his apron and drops it on the floor as he leaves]

    Matt: Let's boogie.

    [Blue Lou looks at them leaving.]

    Aretha:[To Blue Lou]

    Well, go ahead dammit.

    [He leaves.]

    ****!
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  3. #3
    Senior Member hos13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    Soul Food Cafe

    [Jake and Elwood enter and sit at the counter.]

    Aretha:Help you boys?
    Elwood:You got any white bread?
    Aretha:Yes.
    Elwood: I'll have some toasted white bread please.
    Aretha: You want butter or jam on that toast honey?
    Elwood: No ma'am, dry.
    Jake: You got any fried chicken?
    Aretha: Best damn chicken in the state.
    Jake: Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.
    Aretha: You want chicken wings or chicken legs?
    Jake: Four fried chickens and a Coke.
    Elwood: And some dry white toast please.
    Aretha: You all want anything to drink with that?
    Elwood: No ma'am.
    Jake: A Coke.
    Aretha: Be up in a minute.

    [She goes back to the kitchen]

    Aretha: We got two ******* out there dressed like Hacedic Diamond merchants.
    Matt: Say what?
    Aretha: They look like they're from the CIA or something.
    Matt: What they want to eat?
    Aretha: The tall one wants white bread, toast, dry with nothing on it.
    Matt: Elwood!
    Aretha: And the other one wants four whole fried chickens and a Coke.
    Matt: And Jake! ****, the Blues Brothers!

    [Matt goes out into the cafe]

    Matt: Hi Jake.
    Jake: Matt. How you doing?
    Matt: Hi Elwood. How ya doing? How was Joliet.
    Jake: Oh it was bad. Thursday night they'd serve a wicked pepper steak.
    Matt: Can't be as bad as the cabbage role at the Terra-Phelevo Penn.
    Elwood: Or that oatmeal at the Cook County slammer.
    Matt: Well they're all pretty bad.
    Jake: Matt, me and Elwood, we're putting the band back together. We need you and Blue Lou.
    Matt: Oh man. Don't talk that way round here. My old lady, she'll kill me.
    Elwood: Ma'am you gotta understand that this is a lot bigger than any domestic problems you might be experiencing.
    Aretha: Matt, what the hell is he talking about?
    Matt: Don't get roused sugar.
    Aretha: Don't you "Don't get roused sugar" me! Now you not going back on the road no more, and you ain't playing no more two bit sleazy dives. You're living with me now, and you're not gonna go sliding around with you old white hoodlum friends.
    Matt: But babe, this is Jake and Elwood. The Blues Brothers.
    Aretha: The Blues Brothers! ****, they still owe you money, fool!
    Jake: Ma'am, would it make you feel any better if you knew that what we asking Matt here to do was a holy thing?
    Elwood: You see, we're on a mission from God.
    Aretha: Don't you blaspheme in here! Don't you blaspheme in here! Now this is my man and my restaurant and you two are gonna just walk right out that door, without ya dry white toast, without ya four fried chickens and without Matt guitar Murphy.
    Matt: Now listen to me. I love you, but I'm the man and your the woman. And I'll make the decisions concerning my life.
    Aretha: You better think about what you're saying. You better think about the consequences of your actions.
    Matt: Oh shut up woman!


    Song - Think - Sung by Aretha with customers backing and dancing


    [Matt undoes his apron and drops it on the floor as he leaves]

    Matt: Let's boogie.

    [Blue Lou looks at them leaving.]

    Aretha:[To Blue Lou]

    Well, go ahead dammit.

    [He leaves.]

    ****!
    you couldn't find a youtube clip of that, instead of making me read it.
    "Don't give up, don't ever give up" jimmyv

  4. #4
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    You not belive how many different searches I did trying to find a clip with the intro conversation. Lots of Aretha singing Think, but none of Jake and Elwood ordering dry white toast and four fried chickens and a coke.

    I cannot see the word toast without thinking of that scene.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  5. #5
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hos13 View Post
    you couldn't find a youtube clip of that, instead of making me read it.
    BTW, that was not a *** in my pocket, I was just holding my pointer and thumb straight out. I would not have shot you. Shanked, yes, shot, no.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  6. #6
    Banned. ModoVincere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    You not belive how many different searches I did trying to find a clip with the intro conversation. Lots of Aretha singing Think, but none of Jake and Elwood ordering dry white toast and four fried chickens and a coke.

    I cannot see the word toast without thinking of that scene.
    Must mean you are on a mission from God.

  7. #7
    Senior Member hos13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ModoVincere View Post
    Must mean you are on a mission from God.
    I think Mo is right, it is you calling to edit and post that clip. Next time you search for it, you will find it, consider it a gift to yourself.
    "Don't give up, don't ever give up" jimmyv

  8. #8
    Spelling Snob Hobartlemagne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hos13 View Post
    My nephew sent this to me. I thought it was funny, so here is some toast for you.


    Enjoy
    Morning DJ garbage. I can't stand that stuff. Its mostly the loud hyena laughter that always goes with it.

    The first rule of flats is You don't talk about flats!

  9. #9
    Senior Member hos13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hobartlemagne View Post
    Morning DJ garbage. I can't stand that stuff. Its mostly the loud hyena laughter that always goes with it.
    So, I take it you didn't like it.
    "Don't give up, don't ever give up" jimmyv

  10. #10
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  11. #11
    Senior Member hos13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    that song is stuck in my head, I'll be singing it all day.
    "Don't give up, don't ever give up" jimmyv

  12. #12
    Support JDRF b_young's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hos13 View Post
    you couldn't find a youtube clip of that, instead of making me read it.
    You didn't find one either and I had to read it twice.
    "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift that is why it is called the present." - Kung Fu Panda

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  13. #13
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hos13 View Post
    that song is stuck in my head, I'll be singing it all day.
    Admit it, you are now shirtless, wearing a gold vest and dancing for the receptionist.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  14. #14
    Spelling Snob Hobartlemagne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    Wow! that song is awesome! But this one rocks too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoqWOOtlIbM

    The first rule of flats is You don't talk about flats!

  15. #15
    Senior Member hos13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    Admit it, you are now shirtless, wearing a gold vest and dancing for the receptionist.
    Yes, but now they have asked me to leave work for the day. I didn't even get to finish
    "Don't give up, don't ever give up" jimmyv

  16. #16
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    To bring this back to Toast

    Heywood Banks!
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


    . “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche

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  17. #17
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  18. #18
    Senior Member hos13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe View Post
    To bring this back to Toast

    Heywood Banks!
    The Unplugged version, nice find.
    "Don't give up, don't ever give up" jimmyv

  19. #19
    Senior Member hos13's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe View Post
    To bring this back to Toast

    Heywood Banks!
    Texas Toast
    "Don't give up, don't ever give up" jimmyv

  20. #20
    Chepooka StupidlyBrave's Avatar
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