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Old 05-05-08, 08:26 AM   #1
hos13
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I like toast

My nephew sent this to me. I thought it was funny, so here is some toast for you.


Enjoy
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Old 05-05-08, 08:49 AM   #2
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Soul Food Cafe

[Jake and Elwood enter and sit at the counter.]

Aretha:Help you boys?
Elwood:You got any white bread?
Aretha:Yes.
Elwood: I'll have some toasted white bread please.
Aretha: You want butter or jam on that toast honey?
Elwood: No ma'am, dry.
Jake: You got any fried chicken?
Aretha: Best damn chicken in the state.
Jake: Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.
Aretha: You want chicken wings or chicken legs?
Jake: Four fried chickens and a Coke.
Elwood: And some dry white toast please.
Aretha: You all want anything to drink with that?
Elwood: No ma'am.
Jake: A Coke.
Aretha: Be up in a minute.

[She goes back to the kitchen]

Aretha: We got two ******* out there dressed like Hacedic Diamond merchants.
Matt: Say what?
Aretha: They look like they're from the CIA or something.
Matt: What they want to eat?
Aretha: The tall one wants white bread, toast, dry with nothing on it.
Matt: Elwood!
Aretha: And the other one wants four whole fried chickens and a Coke.
Matt: And Jake! ****, the Blues Brothers!

[Matt goes out into the cafe]

Matt: Hi Jake.
Jake: Matt. How you doing?
Matt: Hi Elwood. How ya doing? How was Joliet.
Jake: Oh it was bad. Thursday night they'd serve a wicked pepper steak.
Matt: Can't be as bad as the cabbage role at the Terra-Phelevo Penn.
Elwood: Or that oatmeal at the Cook County slammer.
Matt: Well they're all pretty bad.
Jake: Matt, me and Elwood, we're putting the band back together. We need you and Blue Lou.
Matt: Oh man. Don't talk that way round here. My old lady, she'll kill me.
Elwood: Ma'am you gotta understand that this is a lot bigger than any domestic problems you might be experiencing.
Aretha: Matt, what the hell is he talking about?
Matt: Don't get roused sugar.
Aretha: Don't you "Don't get roused sugar" me! Now you not going back on the road no more, and you ain't playing no more two bit sleazy dives. You're living with me now, and you're not gonna go sliding around with you old white hoodlum friends.
Matt: But babe, this is Jake and Elwood. The Blues Brothers.
Aretha: The Blues Brothers! ****, they still owe you money, fool!
Jake: Ma'am, would it make you feel any better if you knew that what we asking Matt here to do was a holy thing?
Elwood: You see, we're on a mission from God.
Aretha: Don't you blaspheme in here! Don't you blaspheme in here! Now this is my man and my restaurant and you two are gonna just walk right out that door, without ya dry white toast, without ya four fried chickens and without Matt guitar Murphy.
Matt: Now listen to me. I love you, but I'm the man and your the woman. And I'll make the decisions concerning my life.
Aretha: You better think about what you're saying. You better think about the consequences of your actions.
Matt: Oh shut up woman!


Song - Think - Sung by Aretha with customers backing and dancing


[Matt undoes his apron and drops it on the floor as he leaves]

Matt: Let's boogie.

[Blue Lou looks at them leaving.]

Aretha:[To Blue Lou]

Well, go ahead dammit.

[He leaves.]

****!
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 05-05-08, 09:14 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
Soul Food Cafe

[Jake and Elwood enter and sit at the counter.]

Aretha:Help you boys?
Elwood:You got any white bread?
Aretha:Yes.
Elwood: I'll have some toasted white bread please.
Aretha: You want butter or jam on that toast honey?
Elwood: No ma'am, dry.
Jake: You got any fried chicken?
Aretha: Best damn chicken in the state.
Jake: Bring me four fried chickens and a Coke.
Aretha: You want chicken wings or chicken legs?
Jake: Four fried chickens and a Coke.
Elwood: And some dry white toast please.
Aretha: You all want anything to drink with that?
Elwood: No ma'am.
Jake: A Coke.
Aretha: Be up in a minute.

[She goes back to the kitchen]

Aretha: We got two ******* out there dressed like Hacedic Diamond merchants.
Matt: Say what?
Aretha: They look like they're from the CIA or something.
Matt: What they want to eat?
Aretha: The tall one wants white bread, toast, dry with nothing on it.
Matt: Elwood!
Aretha: And the other one wants four whole fried chickens and a Coke.
Matt: And Jake! ****, the Blues Brothers!

[Matt goes out into the cafe]

Matt: Hi Jake.
Jake: Matt. How you doing?
Matt: Hi Elwood. How ya doing? How was Joliet.
Jake: Oh it was bad. Thursday night they'd serve a wicked pepper steak.
Matt: Can't be as bad as the cabbage role at the Terra-Phelevo Penn.
Elwood: Or that oatmeal at the Cook County slammer.
Matt: Well they're all pretty bad.
Jake: Matt, me and Elwood, we're putting the band back together. We need you and Blue Lou.
Matt: Oh man. Don't talk that way round here. My old lady, she'll kill me.
Elwood: Ma'am you gotta understand that this is a lot bigger than any domestic problems you might be experiencing.
Aretha: Matt, what the hell is he talking about?
Matt: Don't get roused sugar.
Aretha: Don't you "Don't get roused sugar" me! Now you not going back on the road no more, and you ain't playing no more two bit sleazy dives. You're living with me now, and you're not gonna go sliding around with you old white hoodlum friends.
Matt: But babe, this is Jake and Elwood. The Blues Brothers.
Aretha: The Blues Brothers! ****, they still owe you money, fool!
Jake: Ma'am, would it make you feel any better if you knew that what we asking Matt here to do was a holy thing?
Elwood: You see, we're on a mission from God.
Aretha: Don't you blaspheme in here! Don't you blaspheme in here! Now this is my man and my restaurant and you two are gonna just walk right out that door, without ya dry white toast, without ya four fried chickens and without Matt guitar Murphy.
Matt: Now listen to me. I love you, but I'm the man and your the woman. And I'll make the decisions concerning my life.
Aretha: You better think about what you're saying. You better think about the consequences of your actions.
Matt: Oh shut up woman!


Song - Think - Sung by Aretha with customers backing and dancing


[Matt undoes his apron and drops it on the floor as he leaves]

Matt: Let's boogie.

[Blue Lou looks at them leaving.]

Aretha:[To Blue Lou]

Well, go ahead dammit.

[He leaves.]

****!
you couldn't find a youtube clip of that, instead of making me read it.
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Old 05-05-08, 09:26 AM   #4
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You not belive how many different searches I did trying to find a clip with the intro conversation. Lots of Aretha singing Think, but none of Jake and Elwood ordering dry white toast and four fried chickens and a coke.

I cannot see the word toast without thinking of that scene.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 05-05-08, 09:28 AM   #5
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you couldn't find a youtube clip of that, instead of making me read it.
BTW, that was not a gun in my pocket, I was just holding my pointer and thumb straight out. I would not have shot you. Shanked, yes, shot, no.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 05-05-08, 09:30 AM   #6
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You not belive how many different searches I did trying to find a clip with the intro conversation. Lots of Aretha singing Think, but none of Jake and Elwood ordering dry white toast and four fried chickens and a coke.

I cannot see the word toast without thinking of that scene.
Must mean you are on a mission from God.
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Old 05-05-08, 09:35 AM   #7
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Must mean you are on a mission from God.
I think Mo is right, it is you calling to edit and post that clip. Next time you search for it, you will find it, consider it a gift to yourself.
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Old 05-05-08, 09:46 AM   #8
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My nephew sent this to me. I thought it was funny, so here is some toast for you.


Enjoy
Morning DJ garbage. I can't stand that stuff. Its mostly the loud hyena laughter that always goes with it.
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Old 05-05-08, 09:48 AM   #9
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Morning DJ garbage. I can't stand that stuff. Its mostly the loud hyena laughter that always goes with it.
So, I take it you didn't like it.
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Old 05-05-08, 09:52 AM   #10
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Found It!!!
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 05-05-08, 10:01 AM   #11
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that song is stuck in my head, I'll be singing it all day.
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Old 05-05-08, 10:34 AM   #12
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you couldn't find a youtube clip of that, instead of making me read it.
You didn't find one either and I had to read it twice.
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Old 05-05-08, 11:06 AM   #13
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that song is stuck in my head, I'll be singing it all day.
Admit it, you are now shirtless, wearing a gold vest and dancing for the receptionist.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 05-05-08, 11:11 AM   #14
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Wow! that song is awesome! But this one rocks too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoqWOOtlIbM
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Old 05-05-08, 11:17 AM   #15
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Admit it, you are now shirtless, wearing a gold vest and dancing for the receptionist.
Yes, but now they have asked me to leave work for the day. I didn't even get to finish
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Old 05-05-08, 11:18 AM   #16
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To bring this back to Toast

Heywood Banks!
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Old 05-05-08, 11:23 AM   #17
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Breakfast Time!!!!!!!!!!1111
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 05-05-08, 11:25 AM   #18
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To bring this back to Toast

Heywood Banks!
The Unplugged version, nice find.
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Old 05-05-08, 11:45 AM   #19
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To bring this back to Toast

Heywood Banks!
Texas Toast
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Old 05-05-08, 08:06 PM   #20
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http://www.ubergeek.tv/article.php?pid=53
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