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Old 05-29-08, 12:13 AM   #1
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I'm in a pickle. Paging Foo Luv Docs.

Let me give you the story. On Sunday night at 11pm to 3am on Monday was this casino event for the graduating class of my school (all guys) and for the all girls school down the street. Anyways, I went with my friend, and at about 1am I'm waiting for a seat to sit down at the blackjack table.

All of the 6 seats were taken, but with 7 betting places at the table, that leaves 1 open room. Anyways, after getting tired of standing in the middle, another friend of mine who happened to be to my right playing was like "hey you can squeeze in here".

Now there was a girl next to him, and she saw me and scooted over to her left so I could play. Well we got to talking for a good amount of time there..say 20 minutes. My best friend and his girlfriend were at the end of the table to the left, and little did I know then that the girl I was talking to was my friend's g/f's best friend. Ok so, 2 people on the right hand side get up and leave so I sit down, and she moves to sit by me. Then I run out of chips (doh!) and she lents me some of hers. Anyways we talk and find he have a ton in common, and I try to help her with my chips to buy bidding tickets for the game console she wanted (ps3). So we walk to the bidding area and with no room left to sit me, she scoots over and we share half a seat, which was nice. She ended up winning 1 of the 2 ps3s. That made both her and I happy. She asked if I'd go to her grad. party that same day, so I said ok.

So my friend (the one that was at the table) drives me up to her party, and we swim, then hang out afterwards.

Ok, this is where it gets weird. When chilling in this room on the sofa, there were only 3 seats really, so it went: my friend, his g/f, me, and no where for the girl I met. So where does she sit? You guessed it on my lap. After talking, she moves her pointer finger in circles on the top of my hand. I should have returned the favor but was too blind *sigh*. Anyways we stayed there for about 7.5 hours, and we really had a great time. So today, we talk online for the first time. It's sort of awkward, because we would flirt on the phone through texting, but she thought online I was not flirty at all! It sort of confused her as to how flirty I was on the phone, but in person and online I don't appear flirty. I guess I'm just nervous I'll mess something up or that this is happening WAY too fast! (We meet 1AM monday...she's on my lap at 7pm monday)
Oh, when we left that night, she walked us down to our cars, and my friend hugged his g/f bye, but I didn't hug the one who likes me, because I thought we're just only new friends. Was that a bad-move?

I really like her now, and I think she likes me. After really, REALLY, communicating online about the flirty thing, I said that I am flirty, but I was a little shy that time. She said she wanted me to 'prove it', and asked me to come to her house tomorrow and keep her company.

So I'll go tomorrow, and see what happens. What should I do though exactly. Every day since Monday night I've been thinking nothing else but her. I've had the heebie jeebies and needed to exercise that out, but that didn't work either.

Any ideas Love Docs of Foo? We're not a couple yet, and I don't think we will be since we're off to college in a few months, but she wants to be more touchy feely. Honestly, I've never done this before.
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Old 05-29-08, 12:21 AM   #2
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Thank God I'm married!!

This sounds like the classic hook-up before skipping town since you're both going away to college. If you were my son I'd say avoid this at all costs, but you're not, so use your own moral compass.

Regardless, you are in and only need to avoid barfing in her hair to get further.
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Old 05-29-08, 12:48 AM   #3
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Be sure and take some portable raincoats with you.
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Old 05-29-08, 12:59 AM   #4
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What do you want to do?

Do you want to bump uglies until both of you can't move for a week? It sounds like she's inviting you to. If so, remember to not rush the moment.

Do you want to cuddle until both of you turn into useless puddles of mush? That's fun, too.

Basically, just go with the flow and don't do anything you don't want to do.
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Old 05-29-08, 06:13 AM   #5
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"did you mount her?"

but seriously, sounds cute. you're young. be yourself. do what feels right (but be smart about it).
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Old 05-29-08, 06:33 AM   #6
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Take a cold shower and play scrabble with her
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Old 05-29-08, 08:47 AM   #7
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EJ slow it down. This gal seems "fast". Seriously. Don't let her mess with your feelings. It's a game. She's moving way too fast. Don't fall for it.
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Old 05-29-08, 09:02 AM   #8
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Attractive girl that's hot for you and has a PS3.: Is there a bad move here?
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Old 05-29-08, 09:05 AM   #9
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*flicks Wordbiker in the forehead* DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM!! This is our EJ we are talking about!! This isn't Pheard!!
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Old 05-29-08, 09:14 AM   #10
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EJ slow it down. This gal seems "fast". Seriously. Don't let her mess with your feelings. It's a game. She's moving way too fast. Don't fall for it.

Totally agree. Doesn't sound like a cute story to me. She sounds like a tease and you are the prey. Nothing to get all "can't stop thinking about her". If it's just a bit of slap and tickle you want then thats about right.

I'm so glad to be old.
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Old 05-29-08, 09:28 AM   #11
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How can a gal know if she likes you that much in so little time? She doesn't even know you. Heck. WE here know you more than she does!!

I know there will be temptation and it's cool that a pretty gal will go after you but a true lady won't be so aggressive. A true lady will have respect and honor for you and herself.

Think of it this way. If she is that way with you and she doesn't even know you, how many other guys has she done this to? And why isn't she still with them?

Do you want to hang around with someone like that?
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Old 05-29-08, 09:48 AM   #12
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How can a gal know if she likes you that much in so little time? She doesn't even know you. Heck. WE here know you more than she does!!

I know there will be temptation and it's cool that a pretty gal will go after you but a true lady won't be so aggressive. A true lady will have respect and honor for you and herself.

Think of it this way. If she is that way with you and she doesn't even know you, how many other guys has she done this to? And why isn't she still with them?


Do you want to hang around with someone like that?
Kind of depends on which part of your anatomy is answering.


The little head say

The big head say

Prolly best to listen to the big head.
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Old 05-29-08, 09:54 AM   #13
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Ooh eee, ooh ahh ahh, ting, tang, walla-walla bing-bang.
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Old 05-29-08, 10:01 AM   #14
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*flicks Wordbiker in the forehead* DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM!! This is our EJ we are talking about!! This isn't Pheard!!
OW!

Oooh, would you do that again?
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Old 05-29-08, 10:03 AM   #15
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She's very open online. When we talked she's so upfront and not afraid to voice her feelings. I admire that. I don't think she's a tease, well maybe, but not that I could see.
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Old 05-29-08, 10:06 AM   #16
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This brought to mind that scene in "Animal House", where that guy had a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. I only remember what the devil said.
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Old 05-29-08, 10:09 AM   #17
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I know there will be temptation and it's cool that a pretty gal will go after you but a true lady won't be so aggressive. A true lady will have respect and honor for you and herself.

Think of it this way. If she is that way with you and she doesn't even know you, how many other guys has she done this to? And why isn't she still with them?

Do you want to hang around with someone like that?
'Cause she's just looking for a fling? Nothing wrong with that.

EJ, just don't go in with too high expectations. Enjoy the relationship for what it is and don't try to make it into something it's not. I assume you're not looking to marry this gal, so just have fun, but guard yourself appropriately.
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Old 05-29-08, 10:18 AM   #18
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Wow...there is no such thing as too fast. Guess it depends on the person but (and I don't remember how old you are sorry) but thats the fun of being a teenager. Once you get older everything becomes uniform and if the girl (in the future) is really annoying she will believe all these stupid rules about this that and the other thing. Enjoy the freedom of being young while you can. Dating as you get older becomes more and more like a job with the dately review being the possibility of having sex. Rules suck!

You could try the simple step of asking her on a date (doesn't need to be formal, go play pool or bowling your friends, somewhere you can talk, more lap time etc). Doesn't have to lead anywhere, has potential to go everywhere and usually involved heavy petting.

Man, I don't get this "I am glad to be old" I sometimes miss that newness and excitement and not knowing if its going to work out. That was FUN when I was younger.

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t's cool that a pretty gal will go after you but a true lady won't be so aggressive
See rules. Fundemantal difference between passion and a dud date. By the standards some people apply on this site (usually sweeping generalizations) my fiance was a ***** with no standards when we met...if thats the case, AWESOME!!!!...every guy/girl should be so lucky

Short story, we met in a bar, we verbally battled and debated for 5 hours until we ended up making out, heading back to her place and bumping uglies (we both like debate, intelligence and sexuality go hand in hand for us) I found out the next morning she was only visiting for 2 weeks. Yehaw, short term fun for both of us, we were both "adults" and we both enjoyed each others company. We played together for 2 weeks and when she left, it was "over"...3 months later, lots of phones calls, I moved out west due to a layoff, and met up with her again. No games, no noise, nothing. Just good times leading to something long term and loving. Romance doesn't fit into a nice square box. Anyone who thinks it does is fooling themselves and likely watches sex in the city and believes wholeheartedly in "men are from mars and women are from venus" (bull**** book btw).

Did anyone ever think she might be REALLY REALLY REALLY attracted to him and want to show it without the games...man some of the love advice on this site just sucks.

Last edited by Maelstrom; 05-29-08 at 10:24 AM. Reason: added story for further explanation
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Old 05-29-08, 10:18 AM   #19
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'Cause she's just looking for a fling? Nothing wrong with that.

EJ, just don't go in with too high expectations. Enjoy the relationship for what it is and don't try to make it into something it's not. I assume you're not looking to marry this gal, so just have fun, but guard yourself appropriately.
FINALLY!!!! Thank you.
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Old 05-29-08, 10:24 AM   #20
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I dunno. If I like a guy I would be too afraid to be aggressive. Might scare him off.

Don't mean to piss you off, Mael - Maybe I'm just .......I see this gal at work who is very aggressive with men. Her fifth divorce just officially ended last month but since he left the house, she's had six boyfriends and none of them stayed. Each of them she had "relations" with on the first date. She told me that last one was afraid she was too easy.
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Old 05-29-08, 10:28 AM   #21
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I dunno. If I like a guy I would be too afraid to be aggressive. Might scare him off.

Don't mean to piss you off, Mael - Maybe I'm just .......I see this gal at work who is very aggressive with men. Her fifth divorce just officially ended last month but since he left the house, she's had six boyfriends and none of them stayed. She told me that last one was afraid she was too easy.
I changed the wording. I am not attached enough to the comments to be pissed.

I can see that, but remember the age group you are talking too. I just find sweeping generalizations about relationships funny and book like. Like I said in my edit. Romance and sex and woman and men don't fit in nice boxes. Everyone is different, with different needs, experiences and fetishes.

Ej should just have fun, learn more about the opposite sex and then let the relationship flow. Thats fun. Heck even the breakup can be interesting. For me all that crap was a social experiment and a learning experience.
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Old 05-29-08, 10:38 AM   #22
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I changed the wording. I am not attached enough to the comments to be pissed.

I can see that, but remember the age group you are talking too. I just find sweeping generalizations about relationships funny and book like. Like I said in my edit. Romance and sex and woman and men don't fit in nice boxes. Everyone is different, with different needs, experiences and fetishes.

Ej should just have fun, learn more about the opposite sex and then let the relationship flow. Thats fun. Heck even the breakup can be interesting. For me all that crap was a social experiment and a learning experience.
Yes, you are right. He is young and should be having fun. I guess I forgot about that part!!

Ehhh....

Watching my co worker do what she does is pretty hard. But it's her life and she's an adult....
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Old 05-29-08, 10:59 AM   #23
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I'm with Maelstrom on this one. Nothing wrong with going after what you want - assuming you are at least slightly discriminating about what you want.

I'd go into it with low expectations, nothing more than having some fun (wherever you draw your boundaries is totally up to you) & seeing what happens. Enjoy, cause there is more pressure/agendas when you get older...
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Old 05-29-08, 11:30 AM   #24
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Yes, you are right. He is young and should be having fun. I guess I forgot about that part!!

Ehhh....

Watching my co worker do what she does is pretty hard. But it's her life and she's an adult....
I was thinking the same thing. The age group does make a difference. Expectations are different when you're a teenager.
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Old 05-29-08, 11:39 AM   #25
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I heart foo.
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