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  1. #1
    Nobody mconlonx's Avatar
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    Darwin Award, 5th place

    > And now for the crescendo of a million kazoos
    trumpeting (or rasping as the case may be) their
    salutations to the deserving winners of this years
    Darwin Awards.

    > Fifth Place
    > Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell
    through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was
    burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight
    he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands
    free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the
    floor.

    Remember, folks--when ripping off a bike store, use a headlight.

  2. #2
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    Yikes!
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  3. #3
    Banned.
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    don't go towards the light.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Rex G's Avatar
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    Eating light meal can be unhealthy.
    Have Colt, will travel...

  5. #5
    Gears? CliftonGK1's Avatar
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    Did the article say whether or not any bikes got damaged when he fell, because that would be a shame.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
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    Did he get his iron RDA for the day? (Well, technically aluminum...)

  7. #7
    AEO
    AEO is offline
    Senior Member AEO's Avatar
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    That death sounds like it'll fit right in with a Final Destination movie
    Food for thought: if you aren't dead by 2050, you and your entire family will be within a few years from starvation. Now that is a cruel gift to leave for your offspring. ;)
    http://sanfrancisco.ibtimes.com/arti...ger-photos.htm

  8. #8
    Descends Like Avalanche HigherGround's Avatar
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    Sometimes karma is a good thing.
    The rider in my avatar is David Etxebarria, not me.

  9. #9
    Banned wagathon's Avatar
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    Would that be a workers comp injury or does it give rise to wrongful death product liability claim?

  10. #10
    Banned. red house's Avatar
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    an exceptional success at failure!!

  11. #11
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    That was very illuminating. Was the flashlight charged with assault and battery?
    Last edited by jsharr; 05-30-08 at 10:29 AM.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  12. #12
    To be continued Dannihilator's Avatar
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    I think it was awarded the key to the city for stopping a theft.
    Strike like an eagle and sacrifice the dove.
    Words and Stuff.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    That was very illuminating. Was the flashlight charged with assault and battery?


    So corny. lol

  14. #14
    The Improbable Bulk Little Darwin's Avatar
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    I would like to be clear, even though my name is Darwin, I have no connection with the Darwin awards, and hope to never win nor be nominated for one... nor even get an honorable mention.

    However, I would like to recount my favorite nominee.

    There was a lady a few years ago who was protesting the prohibition of face jumping in Yosemite, and so she jumped off one of the high cliffs in the park... Since this was a planned protest event with press coverage, and therefore police/ranger presence in the landing area as well, arrest and confiscation of equipment was a given. Not wanting to risk her expensive equipment (which would not be returned) she "borrowed" some... Apparently she borrowed equipment that was good for nothing but confiscation. Onlookers, including her husband, watched in horror as she bounced at the base of the cliff as the parachute failed to open.
    Slow Ride Cyclists of NEPA

    People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.
    - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  15. #15
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Admit it Little Darwin, you gave the guy the light and asked him to get you a bottom bracket.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  16. #16
    GATC
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    Snopes doesn't like the LBS/flashlight story: http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/darwin06.asp one thing that's important is that for a true gene pool improvement the Darwin winner cannot leave children behind (in fact in some cases people offing themselves prematurely might *improve* the prospects of their children remaining in the gene pool). Conversely, a nonfatal but sterilizing oops pre-parenthood will have the same gene pool effect as death.

  17. #17
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Anyone that would place a flashlight in their kids mouth and take them along on an LBS robbery is not a very good parent.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  18. #18
    Caustic Soccer Mom apclassic9's Avatar
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    I loved that movie.
    As with mud, life, too, slides by.

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