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Old 05-29-08, 08:18 AM   #1
mconlonx 
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Darwin Award, 5th place

> And now for the crescendo of a million kazoos
trumpeting (or rasping as the case may be) their
salutations to the deserving winners of this years
Darwin Awards.

> Fifth Place
> Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell
through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was
burglarizing. Death was caused when the long flashlight
he had placed in his mouth to keep his hands
free rammed into the base of his skull as he hit the
floor.

Remember, folks--when ripping off a bike store, use a headlight.
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Old 05-29-08, 08:19 AM   #2
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Yikes!
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Old 05-29-08, 08:27 AM   #3
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don't go towards the light.
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Old 05-29-08, 08:57 AM   #4
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Eating light meal can be unhealthy.
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Old 05-29-08, 10:01 AM   #5
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Did the article say whether or not any bikes got damaged when he fell, because that would be a shame.
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Old 05-29-08, 07:29 PM   #6
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Did he get his iron RDA for the day? (Well, technically aluminum...)
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Old 05-29-08, 09:09 PM   #7
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That death sounds like it'll fit right in with a Final Destination movie
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Old 05-29-08, 11:56 PM   #8
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Sometimes karma is a good thing.
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Old 05-30-08, 08:45 AM   #9
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Would that be a workers comp injury or does it give rise to wrongful death product liability claim?
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Old 05-30-08, 08:56 AM   #10
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an exceptional success at failure!!
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Old 05-30-08, 09:16 AM   #11
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That was very illuminating. Was the flashlight charged with assault and battery?
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

Last edited by jsharr; 05-30-08 at 09:29 AM.
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Old 05-30-08, 09:28 AM   #12
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I think it was awarded the key to the city for stopping a theft.
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Old 05-30-08, 09:36 AM   #13
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That was very illuminating. Was the flashlight charged with assault and battery?


So corny. lol
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Old 05-30-08, 09:53 AM   #14
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I would like to be clear, even though my name is Darwin, I have no connection with the Darwin awards, and hope to never win nor be nominated for one... nor even get an honorable mention.

However, I would like to recount my favorite nominee.

There was a lady a few years ago who was protesting the prohibition of face jumping in Yosemite, and so she jumped off one of the high cliffs in the park... Since this was a planned protest event with press coverage, and therefore police/ranger presence in the landing area as well, arrest and confiscation of equipment was a given. Not wanting to risk her expensive equipment (which would not be returned) she "borrowed" some... Apparently she borrowed equipment that was good for nothing but confiscation. Onlookers, including her husband, watched in horror as she bounced at the base of the cliff as the parachute failed to open.
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Old 05-30-08, 09:57 AM   #15
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Admit it Little Darwin, you gave the guy the light and asked him to get you a bottom bracket.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 05-30-08, 10:02 AM   #16
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Snopes doesn't like the LBS/flashlight story: http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/darwin06.asp one thing that's important is that for a true gene pool improvement the Darwin winner cannot leave children behind (in fact in some cases people offing themselves prematurely might *improve* the prospects of their children remaining in the gene pool). Conversely, a nonfatal but sterilizing oops pre-parenthood will have the same gene pool effect as death.
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Old 05-30-08, 10:06 AM   #17
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Anyone that would place a flashlight in their kids mouth and take them along on an LBS robbery is not a very good parent.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 05-30-08, 10:37 AM   #18
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I loved that movie.
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