Advertise on Bikeforums.net



User Tag List

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 38
  1. #1
    Senior Member MrCrassic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    My Bikes
    2008 Giant OCR1 (with panda bear on the back!)
    Posts
    3,651
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Maybe I'm Doing It Wrong?

    Warning: This is yet another Foo thread on the topic of women. You've been forewarned.

    Is it me? It seems so difficult nowadays to provoke any conversation worth my time with women! Example:

    Two weeks ago, I went out with a new intern for lunch (I'm a co-op myself). Now, I was hoping that I would enjoy my lunch over a great conversation about anything and nothing, asking questions about each other and hoping to find a common thread.

    And of course, this bird was shot down pretty quickly.

    I was doing all of the question asking, but her responses were conversation enders. Each and every single one of them. Doesn't help that she asked nothing about me, nor seemed to care about my character. Even worse was that she seemed like the type completely adverse to any sort of transportation that isn't convenient (i.e. flying from New York to Syracuse when buses go there direct...), so I guess biking is out of the question too. The ride back was overcome by light engine noise...

    But then she IMs me at work several times, only to talk about nothing particularly interesting. WTH?!

    This was essentially a repeat of a date that I had about a month before this, where the girl seemed to have very little interest in me, or just didn't know how to talk to me (or the other way around). I did get some pretty interesting drinking stories from her though ...

    Despite all of this, I don't have too much of an issue approaching women at random. For instance, on today's subway ride, I spotted a woman reading James Patterson (I've heard he's kind of a quick-read author). She seemed sort of distracted, so I asked her about his writing, to which we talked about our favorite types of reading. Very nice five minutes of talking.

    Maybe it's just a case of:

    Last edited by MrCrassic; 06-23-08 at 10:34 AM.
    Ride more.

    Code:
    $ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
     $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces

  2. #2
    Senior Member cornholio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    64
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Cliffs:
    Tried to awkwardly hit on a co-worker at lunch. Got shot down.

  3. #3
    Senior Member MrCrassic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    My Bikes
    2008 Giant OCR1 (with panda bear on the back!)
    Posts
    3,651
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by cornholio View Post
    Cliffs:
    Tried to awkwardly hit on a co-worker at lunch. Got shot down.
    Confirmed.
    BTW My posts are usually long; sorry, guys!
    Ride more.

    Code:
    $ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
     $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces

  4. #4
    Barbieri Telefonico huhenio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Albuquerque, New Mexico
    My Bikes
    Crappy but operational secondhand Motobecane Messenger
    Posts
    3,522
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    It is you.

    Most def.
    Giving Haircuts Over The Phone

  5. #5
    Spelling Snob Hobartlemagne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Plano, Texas
    My Bikes
    Panasonic DX4000, Bianchi Pista
    Posts
    2,863
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Did you do a broccoli-in-the-teeth check first?

    The first rule of flats is You don't talk about flats!

  6. #6
    Not so fast
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    You are doing it wrong. Then again, there is no doing it right.

    Your date sounds like a variant of Cell Phone Girl, if that helps.

  7. #7
    Senior Member MrCrassic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    My Bikes
    2008 Giant OCR1 (with panda bear on the back!)
    Posts
    3,651
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    But why is it that I run into so many? I know I can have thought-provoking conversations, but it seems that it's way too few and far between.

    I think you're right, Doolally. The last person had two (count 'em) smartphones; a Blackberry 8800 (not for work) and a Sidekick...
    Ride more.

    Code:
    $ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
     $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces

  8. #8
    Not so fast
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Bingo. But that doesn't rule out boinko.

    Rude self-obsession seems to be the new female dating gambit.

    Wonder where they got that from.

  9. #9
    Senior Member MrCrassic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    My Bikes
    2008 Giant OCR1 (with panda bear on the back!)
    Posts
    3,651
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I don't think I understand what you meant; sorry.
    Ride more.

    Code:
    $ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
     $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces

  10. #10
    Not so fast
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by MrCrassic View Post
    I don't think I understand what you meant; sorry.
    You may have proved my point.

    Women have long complained about men who don't listen, are distracted by toys (eg TV, gaming)....

  11. #11
    Senior Member MrCrassic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    My Bikes
    2008 Giant OCR1 (with panda bear on the back!)
    Posts
    3,651
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    That's a good point. Unfortunately, this makes for a lot of wasted time for both parties involved, especially if one doesn't really want to talk and the other is trying to find that spot.

    Ughh...
    Ride more.

    Code:
    $ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
     $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces

  12. #12
    Not so fast
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    1
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I'd suggest that the next time you go out, you each bring one cell phone, and sit in different parts of the restaurant and talk.

  13. #13
    Senior Member MrCrassic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    My Bikes
    2008 Giant OCR1 (with panda bear on the back!)
    Posts
    3,651
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Winning idea! Brilliant!
    Ride more.

    Code:
    $ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
     $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces

  14. #14
    Fax Transport Specialist black_box's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    chicago burbs
    My Bikes
    '07 fuji cross pro, '10 gary fisher x-caliber
    Posts
    850
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Doolally View Post
    I'd suggest that the next time you go out, you each bring one cell phone, and sit in different parts of the restaurant and talk.
    walkie talkies would be cheaper unless you have dinner after 9pm.

  15. #15
    Senior Member Lolly Pop's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Norn'Iron
    My Bikes
    Gardin
    Posts
    1,399
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Most men talk, talk, talk on dates, esp first dates, and leave little room for their date to interject. And, as Deborah Tannen has written about extensively, men and women have very different conversational techniques (e.g. men don't mind being interrupted and don't mind doing so, whereas women believe it is "rude" to interrupt/interject and so avoid doing, &c).

    That being said, sounds like you gave her every opportunity to get involved in the convo.

    She sounds like a dud to me.

  16. #16
    Senior Member MrCrassic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    My Bikes
    2008 Giant OCR1 (with panda bear on the back!)
    Posts
    3,651
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    But my real question is this: what kinds of men actually fit these kind of women? What kind of social interaction exists between people of this type?

    I'm just trying to understand what seems to be the prevailing majority these days.
    Ride more.

    Code:
    $ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
     $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces

  17. #17
    Senior Member Lolly Pop's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Norn'Iron
    My Bikes
    Gardin
    Posts
    1,399
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    It's not worth pondering.

  18. #18
    Senior Member MrCrassic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    My Bikes
    2008 Giant OCR1 (with panda bear on the back!)
    Posts
    3,651
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Everyone, thanks for the feedback! Foo never fails.
    Ride more.

    Code:
    $ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
     $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces

  19. #19
    Gorntastic! v1k1ng1001's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    United States of Mexico
    Posts
    3,428
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Doolally View Post
    Bingo. But that doesn't rule out boinko.

    Rude self-obsession seems to be the new female dating gambit.

    Wonder where they got that from.
    I'm feeling this.

    My roommate roped me into a double date thing this weekend so he could spend time with this woman he's been flirting with at the coffee shop. He's played wingman for me in the past so I was obliged to return the favor.

    I could tell my date was interested in me but for some reason she assumed this kind of haughty attitude. Conversation was like pulling teeth. I tried to playfully challenge her defensive attitude but she was not budging. I thought maybe she'd loosen up and we'd get along eventually or, barring that, I would just take one for the team.

    After several drinks, she announced, "The only men that are worth a damn are the ones who are willing to work for it. I only play hard to get these days."

    I just started laughing. With this terrified look on her face, she asked, "Why are you laughing?"

    I got up with a big smile and said, "No, No, I really hope that works out for you! Excuse me please..." clapped my buddy on the back and walked over to the hot redhead at the bar who turned out to be pretty cool.

  20. #20
    Senior Member MrCrassic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    My Bikes
    2008 Giant OCR1 (with panda bear on the back!)
    Posts
    3,651
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Their definition of work must mean a bit of self-esteem lowering on the man's part, coupled with a tiny bit of suffering (and I'm not talking the beautiful suffering obtained in a mean hill climb either...)
    Ride more.

    Code:
    $ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
     $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces

  21. #21
    Wood Licker Maelstrom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Whistler,BC
    My Bikes
    Transition Dirtbag, Kona Roast 2002 and specialized BMX
    Posts
    16,888
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by MrCrassic View Post
    Warning: This is yet another Foo thread on the topic of women. You've been forewarned.

    Is it me? It seems so difficult nowadays to provoke any conversation worth my time with women! Example:
    Intelligent conversation went the way of the dodo. Its rare to find anyone willing to sit down and "talk" let alone with any intelligence.

    But my real question is this: what kinds of men actually fit these kind of women? What kind of social interaction exists between people of this type?
    guy - Nice shoes
    girl - Thanks nice shirt
    guy - Great, wanna ****
    girl - sure, did I already say nice shoes...

    I love going out with my single friends and playing wingman, I get to hear some of the conversationally challenged attempt communication all the time. I am surprised more people don't talk in textspeak. It seems to be the only way people can communicate.

  22. #22
    Senior Member MrCrassic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Brooklyn, NY
    My Bikes
    2008 Giant OCR1 (with panda bear on the back!)
    Posts
    3,651
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    You know, I should add a bit to this:

    A few months ago, my bud gave me a few DVDs from a person named Lance Mason, a pretty popular pick-up artist (PUA). A lot of his suggestions were insightful, and were good general advice to follow for general everyday living. However, what I did notice is that his suggestions for "picking-up" women (i.e. being a bit clever in bedding a girl, without being completely demoralizing about it, I suppose) at bars revolved around starting completely useless conversations that, for all intents and purposes, are a waste of time. That's fine in a bar scene (which I hate), but what happens after that. What about the next morning or afternoon? Is it just supposed to fail right afterwards, since the goal was accomplished and apparently the woman knows this? What does it then mean to be "good friends?"

    God, I hate this "game." Lots of sex, sure, but what about for those that want more than that?
    Ride more.

    Code:
    $ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
     $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces

  23. #23
    Wood Licker Maelstrom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Whistler,BC
    My Bikes
    Transition Dirtbag, Kona Roast 2002 and specialized BMX
    Posts
    16,888
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Lolly Pop View Post
    Most men talk, talk, talk on dates, esp first dates, and leave little room for their date to interject. And, as Deborah Tannen has written about extensively, men and women have very different conversational techniques (e.g. men don't mind being interrupted and don't mind doing so, whereas women believe it is "rude" to interrupt/interject and so avoid doing, &c).

    That being said, sounds like you gave her every opportunity to get involved in the convo.

    She sounds like a dud to me.
    Well put, its also why I tend to avoid the typical and boring. I love a verbal challenge. I didn't know anyone actually did a study on it though haha

    My fiance (I think I have told this story but it applies directly here) met at a bar. Thats the short version, here is the longer version.

    She was flying home to visit some friends who I happened to know. I was out with them and they were trying to hook me up with another one of their girls. Some single girl who liked tall guys. yehaw. I am tall and was single. Seemed like it could be a fun night and she had red hair, I am a sucked for natural reds. She had no ability to hold up her end of the conversation and I personally, can't stand being the talking side of a one sided conversation. The conversation quickly stopped and I kept chatting it with our mutual friends.

    Well in walks this hippy looking cute chick who sits down in front of me. With attitude. ok what a *****, shes pulling attitude. I found out she was a friend of my friends and we start "chatting"...it was more akin to verbal sparring. I am a conservative, she is a left wing ex communist hippie. I was a jock computer geek who hated the "system", she was a pot smoking "sit in" who believes one person can make a difference, I pirated music, she was an indie rocker, she loved drama and the "arts", I hate going to live plays and live music. Several hours later, many drinks late and many debates later, I end up taking her home. She was visiting for 2 weeks and we both figured we would have some fun.

    7 years later, after moving 5000km, I am still with her and to this day remember every moment of that conversation is embedded in my head. To this day we still disagree, we still debate and I still get turned on by her ability to communicate clearly. (that and I think shes hot)...

    I will take the non vanilla cute chick over the mindless rambling of a hot {insert random hair colour here** any day. Those girls are usually only fun as the 3rd in a fun night. Long term, I would rather watch paint dry.

    The cute red head they tried to hook me up with, still single, same bars, same conversation and I still talk to her when we go back home (she was a highschool friend of my fiance) She needs to find a new niche...
    Last edited by Maelstrom; 06-23-08 at 02:08 PM.

  24. #24
    Fax Transport Specialist black_box's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    chicago burbs
    My Bikes
    '07 fuji cross pro, '10 gary fisher x-caliber
    Posts
    850
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by v1k1ng1001 View Post
    I got up with a big smile and said, "No, No, I really hope that works out for you! Excuse me please..." clapped my buddy on the back and walked over to the hot redhead at the bar who turned out to be pretty cool.
    you deserve a free beer for that one

  25. #25
    Senior Member DannoXYZ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Saratoga, CA
    Posts
    11,507
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Lolly Pop View Post
    Most men talk, talk, talk on dates, esp first dates, and leave little room for their date to interject. And, as Deborah Tannen has written about extensively, men and women have very different conversational techniques (e.g. men don't mind being interrupted and don't mind doing so, whereas women believe it is "rude" to interrupt/interject and so avoid doing, &c).
    Actually research has found that women interrupt a conversation many more times than men. But they do so in a way that's coherent with and continues the talk whereas men's interruptions tend to be off-topic and cuts off the topic.

    What Tannen points out that's really important is the different language that men & women use. The same words in the same arrangement in the same sentence will have different meanings for men & women. For example, "What are you doing Friday night?" or "What do you think of that movie 'Kung-Fu Panda'?". Those are easy, but there's a vast majority that's much more subtle.

    I'd also recommend checking out "The Woman that Never Evolved" - Sarah Hrdy - Harvard Press.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •