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  1. #1
    Long-time Curmudgeon DrPete's Avatar
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    I Got What America Needs Right Here.

    So it's a bit old, but every time I read it I can't stop laughing, and I was inspired to pull it up again... Totally NSFW, and not for the easily offended... cross-posted in P&R but figured Foo might have more folks with a sense of humor...

    Vote Jimmy Carter in '08!

    http://www.theonion.com/content/opin...ca_needs_right
    "Unless he was racing there was no way he could match my speed."

  2. #2
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    OMG that is HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  3. #3
    was kung-fu fighting lodi781's Avatar
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    Gotta love the onion.......
    " The love you withhold is the pain you carry, lifetime after lifetime."

  4. #4
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    wow. Makes Al Pacino / Tony Montana sound like a choir boy.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  5. #5
    Wood Licker Maelstrom's Avatar
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    There was so much ****ing swearing, I gave up on trying to ****ing understand what the **** this was supposed to be about beyond carters rad ****ing red ***.

    Likely the point, but I found that difficult to read at best and at worst, I didn't find it funny. Trying to catch a laugh with swearing is weak humour at best.

    Meh, maybe I need a drink to "get it" be back in an hour

  6. #6
    My tank takes chocolate. FlowerBlossom's Avatar
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    irony...it's irony maelstrom....Jimmy Carter probably never said the **** in his entire ****ing life.
    Feminism is the profound notion that women are human beings.

  7. #7
    Descends Like Avalanche HigherGround's Avatar
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    I wondered what Andrew Dice Clay was doing these days.
    The rider in my avatar is David Etxebarria, not me.

  8. #8
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HigherGround View Post
    I wondered what Andrew Dice Clay was doing these days.
    He totally had to have co-authored it!!

  9. #9
    Wood Licker Maelstrom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlowerBlossom View Post
    irony...it's irony maelstrom....Jimmy Carter probably never said the **** in his entire ****ing life.
    ahhh...makes more sense. I knew there was something I was missing. Thanks

    I wondered what Andrew Dice Clay was doing these days.
    First person I thought of when I first read it, I recently saw him in the Gene Simmons roast. I don't think he swore once, I was shocked.

  10. #10
    Senior Member MrCrassic's Avatar
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    That was beautiful.
    Ride more.

    Code:
    $ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
     $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces

  11. #11
    Tail End Charlie Ritehsedad's Avatar
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    ...I better wait until I can see it at home...
    Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

  12. #12
    Cries on hills supton's Avatar
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    Couldn't read it, too profane for me. Not funny.
    '07 Trek Pilot 1.2
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  13. #13
    Peloton Dog patentcad's Avatar
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    I don't think that was really Jimmy Carter Dr. Pete. You Republicans are so gullible.

  14. #14
    Soul rider
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlowerBlossom View Post
    irony...it's irony maelstrom....Jimmy Carter probably never said the **** in his entire ****ing life.

    Didnt stop him from being anti-semetic.....

  15. #15
    The quieter you become... Falkon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by patentcad View Post
    I don't think that was really Jimmy Carter Dr. Pete. You Republicans are so gullible.
    Someone missed the point.
    Quote Originally Posted by TechKnowGN
    San Jose has to be the most boring place I've ever been. And I live in Ohio.

  16. #16
    King of the Plukers Spreggy's Avatar
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    But Al Gore, that ********** pig, steals the **** from me and now he's the greatest thing since Jesus Christ made a ******* sandwich.
    That's comedy gold.
    “Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”
    ― Muhammad Ali

  17. #17
    J E R S E Y S B E S T Jerseysbest's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Falkon View Post
    Someone missed the point.
    I think you missed the "dry humor" in his post
    Quote Originally Posted by SingingSabre View Post
    Cheating: a symptom of the problem.

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