So I'm driving around and I see all these Fireworks stands poping up all over the place. Back East fireworks are illegal, so I was excited to see that they're legal here in Colorado. Well I stop at a big fireworks stand, and all I see are crapy sparklers and fountains.
I was like, "So your gonna' tell me that you don't have no black cats, no roman candles, or screaming mimis. Oh come on man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers? You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?
What's the point of having legal fireworks if you only make the crapy ones legal. Fireworks are great for thinning the herd. Natural selection is a thing of the past I guess.