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Old 07-07-08, 09:12 AM   #1
UnsafeAlpine
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Ex's as friends?

i have 5 very, very close friends. People I can really count on, people I love (in a platonic way), people I would do anything for and who would do anything for me. 3 of them are ex girlfriends. Is that weird?
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Old 07-07-08, 09:15 AM   #2
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Not at all. One of my ex girlfriends used to hook me up with dates quite a lot. She also used to cut my wife's hair, but only after I introduced by wife to her.

I met my wife through another ex girlfriend.

I keep one ex in the freezer, in zip lock baggies. She never talks to me as she is frigid.
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Old 07-07-08, 09:19 AM   #3
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I don't think its weird at all. I don't have a lot of ex's as friends (perhaps a reflection of me) but I think it was my poor judgement in their character from the start. If you choose good people to date, and the dating part just doesn't work out, no sense in not maintaining a friendship! I'm kinda jealous, actually. One of my good friends/ex was probably also one of my best friends for the longest time.
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Old 07-07-08, 09:19 AM   #4
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Not at all.

I get along with ex-husband - but I think he may have even moved to South Carolina - I really don't see him.

And ex-boyfriend - we're back to being the platonic friends we started out as. Muuuuch better that way too!
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Old 07-07-08, 09:21 AM   #5
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Nothing weird about it at all. The reason you got together in first place is that you obviously had something in common.
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Old 07-07-08, 09:22 AM   #6
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Do these ex's come with "benefits"?

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...I keep one ex in the freezer, in zip lock baggies. She never talks to me as she is frigid.
Next to your coffee?
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Old 07-07-08, 09:25 AM   #7
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Do these ex's come with "benefits"?



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Old 07-07-08, 09:32 AM   #8
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Nothing weird about it at all. The reason you got together in first place is that you obviously had something in common.
The reasons we're not together far outweigh why we got together in the first place. I don't talk to any of my exes.
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Old 07-07-08, 09:37 AM   #9
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I haven't made friends "after" dating with exes, just didn't have a normal breakup, it is sad in a way, but it is part of the past.

Maybe how i took their no trust, and main reason: cheating, led me to care less than .02 cents about them.

Single forever...sigh.
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Old 07-07-08, 09:37 AM   #10
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The reasons we're not together far outweigh why we got together in the first place. I don't talk to any of my exes.
Mine don't talk to me.
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Old 07-07-08, 09:40 AM   #11
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I don't think it's weird. Not all relationships end in a spectacular explosion.

Now, I don't talk to my ex-wife. That woman still scares me.
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Old 07-07-08, 09:59 AM   #12
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My closest friend is a woman I dated for about a year. She's now remarried to the father of their children, but we've remained friends. She lives in Tennessee now, but when we get to visit each other she stays on my boat, or I stay at her home.

Her husband knows we were an item once, but he completely trusts us both. Some friendships appear strange to those not involved in it.
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Old 07-07-08, 10:07 AM   #13
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I remained friends with an ex I dated longer than any other. We just knew each other too well and couldn't separate, even long after all romance was gone (currently, we could be stranded on a desert island and nothing would happen). It is very rare to know someone that well, that they know what you are thinking, know all of your quirks, and accept you completely.

However, as it was pointed out to me not too long ago -- the problem with exes is not between the exes, but others who get romantically involved. So, for example, after 4 years of being buds with my ex, she has now finally started dating someone seriously, to the point that we just don't talk at all. Just because she and I are OK with being friends, you can't expect the current s.o. to just accept that the ex is still coming around...particularly when there is a romantic history between the two.
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Old 07-07-08, 10:09 AM   #14
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Well said, people tend to wonder who that person is or what was the involvement, it is a natural thing, that jealous syndrome, i call it, but if you are good about it and trust is built, it don't bother much.
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Old 07-07-08, 10:39 AM   #15
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I've parted friends with a few of my exs. My ex wife however...well let's just say...I hope I never see here again.
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Old 07-07-08, 10:44 AM   #16
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I still live with my ex... I would not say we are friends or even get along that well.

This will be changing very soon.
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Old 07-07-08, 10:54 AM   #17
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Not friends with any of them. It has been my experience that it often isn't fair to both parties. The one doing the breaking up says that they want to remain friends to soften the blow. The one getting broken up with maintains a false hope that something more might come out of remaining friends. In the end, I think it takes longer to get over the situation. Maybe in time, friendship can come out of it. But not immediately following. I think both parties need time to move on and adjust.
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Old 07-07-08, 11:44 AM   #18
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i am friends with most of my exes.
like someone said. you had something in common

plus they have seen you naked, can it get worse from there?

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Old 07-07-08, 11:52 AM   #19
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I've only ever stayed friends with one ex, and that was because we were friends for over a decade before we dated.

Too many hurt feelings and its hard/weird seeing them move on. No thanks. Better to just go.
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Old 07-07-08, 12:15 PM   #20
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http://music.aol.com/song/dont-wanna...-friend/290565
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Old 07-07-08, 02:03 PM   #21
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i dated one of my best friends, she knew me the best and unfortunately it didn't work out. I miss her as a friend and hope that one day we'll go back to being great friends again. It's tough not being in her life, but I guess part of that is realizing we shouldn't have stepped into it in the first place.
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Old 07-07-08, 03:25 PM   #22
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...3 of them are ex girlfriends. Is that weird?
Not weird, enviable even, but it makes me wonder why you are so bitter/miserable about the last one when you have all these others who will lend a sympathetic ear or otherwise slap you to your senses.

I was friendly with all my exes but I've remained very close to just one of them, and it's awesome. At first it was fine, then it got rough for me when she started seeing someone seriously, then we made up before she got married, now we are very close, and her husband is totally cool with us hanging out alone, so we can talk. There's nothing between us except warmth and understanding. There's a closeness that just can't be duplicated with someone you have always been platonic with. In a way it's an ideal relationship: almost all the emotional closeness without the drama and expectation of a romantic relationship.

.
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Old 07-07-08, 03:30 PM   #23
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Not weird, enviable even, but it makes me wonder why you are so bitter/miserable about the last one when you have all these others who will lend a sympathetic ear or otherwise slap you to your senses.

I was friendly with all my exes but I've remained very close to just one of them, and it's awesome. At first it was fine, then it got rough for me when she started seeing someone seriously, then we made up before she got married, now we are very close, and her husband is totally cool with us hanging out alone, so we can talk. There's nothing between us except warmth and understanding. There's a closeness that just can't be duplicated with someone you have always been platonic with. In a way it's an ideal relationship: almost all the emotional closeness without the drama and expectation of a romantic relationship.

.
This last one was totally different than all the others, and, oddly enough, I think that it's so tough is because it ended quicker than any of my other relationships and really never had a chance to even out. We were still in that exciting stage and then it was over.
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Old 07-07-08, 03:58 PM   #24
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No ex's live nearby.

All ex's are potentially .. .well ... you get it.
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Old 07-07-08, 05:25 PM   #25
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I think so, I am incapable being "friends" with ex's. It never seems to work out.

And this isn't always my fault, its usually mutual.

Of course I am talking relationships, or something that I might have had with some meaning. Sex partners, meh, ya I can be friends with them. Accidental sex with them is proven to be fleeting and fun.
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