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  1. #1
    Domestic Domestique UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
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    My Cousin- The Saga

    I feel as though this story should be shared with the world. This is an epic tale of love and hate, of fear and courage, of hope, of disappointment, of pain and suffering, but most of all, it is a tale of a family- of my family.

    This story cannot be told in one sitting. It must be given to you as it was given to me, a bit at a time. The story is too great to write, or read in one sitting, so I will tell my tale over a period of days.

    Thus begins My Cousin.

  2. #2
    Pwnerer Wordbiker's Avatar
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    Ooooh!

    A story by UA!
    Quote Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
    Ski, bike and wish I was gay.

  3. #3
    Domestic Domestique UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
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    (I'm using Icelandic names to protect the innocent and to keep in tradition of the great Icelandic Sagas of yore.)

    I was 7 years old when my mother's brother and his wife had their first child. They named him Thorgrim, son of Thorstein. He was a quiet child, concerning himself with the study of ancient beasts rather than the study of sword play and horseback riding. His days were filled with reading, writing, and arithmetic, not with the training a warrior son should do. When Thorgrim was 3, his mother gave birth to another son, Lief, and when Thorgrim was 5, his sister, Ingibjorg was born. Leif became the warrior son and Ingibjorg became a beautiful warrior daughter.

    After Ingibjorg was born, Thorstein and his wife, Hildegunna, began to argue. They held on for another 7 years before finally divorcing. This had a profound affect on the children, but especially 12 year old Thorgrim. The children all moved in with Hildegunna, but fiercly independant Thorgrim and his mother fought all the time. Before Thorgrim was 18, he moved in with his father. This situation turned out even worse for Thorgrim, as Thorstein understood his son even less than Hildegunna did.

  4. #4
    BF's Level 12 Wizard SingingSabre's Avatar
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    Juicy...
    Shameless plug (my sites):
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bklyn
    Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.

  5. #5
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    I am waiting for the honey mead to kick in and a good berserking to take place.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  6. #6
    Grumpy Member trsidn's Avatar
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    thorgrim? o_0
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah View Post
    Transcendental enumeration.

  7. #7
    Domestic Domestique UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
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    Chapter 2

    When Thorgrim was 18, he struck out on his own. Deciding religious studies was his calling, he started his education. The first year went fine, and that summer, he worked and lived at a Buddhist monastery in the Californian mountains. (FYI, California is called the Iceland of the U.S. by many people.) Thorgrim claims no religion, but his beliefs are small pieces taken from numerous religions. Coming back from his first summer at the monastery, he moved in with his grandparents and continued his schooling. After only a few months, Thorgrim was forced to leave the grandparents house after numerous and oddly inconsiquential arguments.

    The next two years took Thorgrim to Berkeley. He started school and a job, and held on to both for quite a while. In the summers, he worked for different Buddhist monasteries, and during the school year, he held down jobs as a dishwasher. During this period, he mostly stayed away from family, only visiting my parents (who had a boat there) occasionally, and rarely seeing his parents or grandparents. Those who did manage to see him, thought he was doing very well.

  8. #8
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    was the boat a long boat with a carved figurehead and shields hanging from the sides?
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  9. #9
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    If Thor looks anything like this, he needs to be introduced to the Foo ladies.


  10. #10
    Senior Member 66aldo's Avatar
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    The light at the end of the tunnel IS the front of an oncoming train!

  11. #11
    carbon positive lifestyle carbonlife's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by UnsafeAlpine View Post
    The next two years took Thorgrim to Berkeley...
    Uh-oh. This story can't be going in a good direction. I hope he didn't meet Dumpster Muffin.

    .

  12. #12
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    When I was kid, I had a gerbil named Thor, God of Thunder. I found it to be ironic.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  13. #13
    S.African in Switzerland The_Guru's Avatar
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    I'm waiting for the part where he thayth that he'th really thor...

  14. #14
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    I see what you did there!!!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  15. #15
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    Have a friend whose husband IS named Thor.

  16. #16
    Senior Member avmanansala's Avatar
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    More, give us more!
    "Study your math, kids. Key to the Universe." - Gabriel in The Prophecy

  17. #17
    Grumpy Member trsidn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tude View Post
    Have a friend whose husband IS named Thor.
    is her name Sif?
    Quote Originally Posted by Mariah View Post
    Transcendental enumeration.

  18. #18
    Blasted Weeds Tude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trsidn View Post
    is her name Sif?
    hehe - yes.

    or roadfwog on another forum.

  19. #19
    Domestic Domestique UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
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    Chapter 3

    Throughout all this education, Thorgrim felt a need to explore different religions and what they meant to him. He wanted to learn about how cultures used their religions. He felt as though he could understand religion.

    At the beginning of 2007, Thorgrim had saved enough money to travel. He set out for India, land of Hindu, Muslim, and Buddhist. Thorgrim spent 3 months traveling, studying, and learning from gurus. It was on this pilgrimage that he decided his life would be dedicated to the study of world religions. Thorgrim also brought something else back with him. Something that would change his life.

  20. #20
    Senior Member Allen's Avatar
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    Malaria or a wife?

  21. #21
    Senior Member
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    venereal disease?

  22. #22
    Prefers Cicero cooker's Avatar
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    hookworm

  23. #23
    carbon positive lifestyle carbonlife's Avatar
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    A Tata Nano?



    Oh sorry, I was still thinking of the Ugly Car thread.

  24. #24
    Hey guyz? Guyz? Wait up!! Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
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    The sacred Mormon plates!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Buddha
    We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
    Quote Originally Posted by making View Post
    Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

  25. #25
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    The Lost Monet?
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

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