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Old 07-11-08, 11:58 AM   #1
UnsafeAlpine
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Continue the story.

On a cold, damp, gray morning we slowly pushed the canoe into the water. Not knowing what lay ahead of us, we started paddling.
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Old 07-11-08, 12:10 PM   #2
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The sun slowly rose to the east, burning the gray mist to a burnished orange. Each stroke gently moved the water in slowly growing triangles and the canoe slipped through the water hardly making a sound.
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Old 07-11-08, 12:13 PM   #3
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The movement of the water hypnotizing her as she thought "Should I close this thread?"
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
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Old 07-11-08, 12:21 PM   #4
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But before she could answer herself, millions of tiny evil robots swarmed into the river, shredding the canoe and all but one of it's inhabitants. Then a deathly silence fell on the scene as the robots vanished as quickly as they had appeared.

The sole survivor slowly floated to the surface surround by the remains of his canoe and friends and began to slowly realize what had happened could have been prevented if only he had paid heed to the warning signs. With that thought slowly revolving in his head, he sank back beneath the water, arms spread, mouth open, bubbles trailing from his nostrils as he sank slowly to meet his fate.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 07-11-08, 12:26 PM   #5
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As Bill Pullman floated to bottom of Lake Placid, he could see in the murky water the figure of a creature...
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Old 07-11-08, 12:29 PM   #6
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a creature so foul and disgusting that the mere sight of it would make a person.....
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Old 07-11-08, 12:29 PM   #7
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Then, without warning a shirtless George Bush (43) toting a bandolier and an M-60 appeared and grunted a monosyllabic "Duh" before traipsing off to the next CM ride.
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Old 07-11-08, 12:44 PM   #8
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hmmm guess he fell off the wagon.....
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Old 07-11-08, 12:46 PM   #9
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Even though the wagon was being pulled by eight flying horses, none of them would turn to catch him as he plummeted to the ground. As he grew swiftly closer to the earth, something moving to his right caught his eye.
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Old 07-11-08, 12:48 PM   #10
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He was not even sure when his eye fell out, but now with his diminished sight, he would never know what caught it. Then he hit ground.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 07-11-08, 12:49 PM   #11
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Except the ground would not hold him, but opened up to embrace him.
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Old 07-11-08, 12:51 PM   #12
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He thought: "Gee, the ground seems a lot farther away than I thought"
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Old 07-11-08, 12:53 PM   #13
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Which was understandable with his lack of depth perception. Then he rememebered he was a cartoon character, so he got up and was not surprised to find his abdomen was now an accordian.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 07-11-08, 12:53 PM   #14
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Try as he might, he could not tune himself. So he decided to utilize his artistic abilities to their fullest extent.
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Old 07-11-08, 12:55 PM   #15
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Try as he might, he could not tune himself. So he decided to utilize his artistic abilities to their fullest extent.
and began to fart a tune....
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Old 07-11-08, 01:05 PM   #16
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"Flight of the Bumblebee" is an exceedingly difficult tune to master...
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Old 07-11-08, 01:16 PM   #17
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However, given Mr Bush's innate talent for blowing wind that sounds good, but is entirely useless, nobody was surprised.
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Old 07-11-08, 01:20 PM   #18
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As he walked away from the divot he made, one eye less, torso flipping around wildly, and attempting to fart the Flight of the Bumblebee, he realized this wasn't the way he wanted to end up.
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Old 07-11-08, 01:21 PM   #19
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Slowly, carefully, so as not to jab himself in his only eye, he held his thumb up to his mouth, and blew.
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Old 07-11-08, 01:22 PM   #20
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He blew so hard, his body, once so accordian-like, took the shape of a balloon.
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Old 07-11-08, 01:33 PM   #21
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Which was a bad shape to be in, as he had fallen to earth in Giant Clown Land. Before he could say Unsafe Alpine is a cross dresser, a huge pair of clown hands was bending and folding, twisting and tying his ballon body into what can only be described as the work of mind demented by years of hard pore cornography.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 07-11-08, 01:35 PM   #22
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Which attracted the previously mentioned liberal robots.
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Old 07-11-08, 01:49 PM   #23
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Giggling to themselves, the canoeists regained their composure and j-stroked towards a small green island that appeared magically in the distance. “Hay bill” Sonya blurted out “that sure is killer weed I sure have the munchies let’s stop on that island and make some burritos”!
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Old 07-11-08, 01:58 PM   #24
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And they proceeded to make tofu burrito's - because they did not want to anger the liberal robots (which were sustained by renewable energy sources and also abstained from meat)... but it was too late, because they were already in a robot rage...
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Old 07-11-08, 02:02 PM   #25
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... THEY WERE CORNERED, all seemed lost, then Tiffany noticed the carbon footprints of an Suvasaurus heading towards a Starbucks. Funny, why had they not seen that Starbucks before? They followed the footprints to apparent safety, but sadly, the store was closed, due to the hubris of the coffee conglomerate cognoscenti.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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