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Old 07-22-08, 02:36 PM   #1
Tude 
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The What Not To Do Thread ...

Do not leave an overripe banananana in your backpack all day and then unzip it 45 min. before you leave, expect a swarm of fruitflys to explode out of the pocket. You should see where I sit - I think there's about 30 of the buggers on my screen this moment.
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Old 07-22-08, 02:37 PM   #2
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Do not leave a largemouth bass in a cooler in the trunk of a car in Texas in summer for a week.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 07-22-08, 02:43 PM   #3
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Don't go to a gas station and ask the clerk to appraise your handgun.
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Old 07-22-08, 02:44 PM   #4
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Do not leave your very gross smelly cycling shorts even close to the bed, let alone your g/f's pillow. She will think it was intentional and then place it in your pillowcase...
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Old 07-22-08, 02:44 PM   #5
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Is handgun some sort of euphemism?
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 07-22-08, 02:46 PM   #6
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Do not leave your very gross smelly cycling shorts even close to the bed, let alone your g/f's pillow. She will think it was intentional and then place it in your pillowcase...
hehehe
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Old 07-22-08, 02:47 PM   #7
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Is handgun some sort of euphemism?
no, real gun. Gas station attendants clearly don't know that value of a gun and will typically offer what ever they have in the draw at the time.
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Old 07-22-08, 03:00 PM   #8
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Do not leave wine in your car in the middle of winter in Alaska. It will explode and is damn difficult to clean off the floor, the windows, the seats, and the ceiling.
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Old 07-22-08, 03:05 PM   #9
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^^Oh god that is such a good point! My mom used to leave her white chardonnay bottles in the freezer by accident. I recall eating many a wine soaked ice cream sandwiches. Ah...youth...
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Old 07-22-08, 03:14 PM   #10
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Do not leave wine in your car in the middle of winter in Alaska. It will explode and is damn difficult to clean off the floor, the windows, the seats, and the ceiling.
if you have any wine, drink it!
I had to pour away a couple of half finished bottles a while ago as the only thing it was good for was 30 pounds of salad.
....and we call ourselves university students
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Old 07-22-08, 03:22 PM   #11
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you know
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Old 07-22-08, 03:38 PM   #12
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Do not leave beer in your friend's freezer overnight to "cool it off for a minute"
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Old 07-22-08, 03:48 PM   #13
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Do not participate in the CruiseAthong with feet as white as Casper wearing thong sandals and no sunscreen...believe me. Ouch.
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Ski, bike and wish I was gay.
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Old 07-22-08, 04:11 PM   #14
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Don't ever try to wear a dress made of saran wrap.
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Old 07-22-08, 04:14 PM   #15
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do not pull someone's finger when they ask you to.
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Old 07-22-08, 04:43 PM   #16
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Don't drink old milk. Your stomach will not like you.
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Old 07-22-08, 04:48 PM   #17
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Do not eat 1 minute before you set off on a ride. At least take a tums if you do so. burp..
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Old 07-22-08, 04:52 PM   #18
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Do not eat 1 minute before you set off on a ride. At least take a tums if you do so. burp..
Don't drain a Naglene bottle full of water right before a ride, either. That was unpleasant...
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Old 07-22-08, 05:22 PM   #19
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Do not ever buy this pattern:

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Old 07-22-08, 05:56 PM   #20
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Don't be a meanie stinky doody head
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Old 07-22-08, 06:09 PM   #21
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don't take a job where an engineer will be your boss
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Old 07-22-08, 06:13 PM   #22
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When you are running then suddenly fall, don't use your face to stop.
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
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Old 07-22-08, 06:38 PM   #23
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Do not try to pole vault while pregnant.
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What's frightening is how coherent Hickey was in posting that.
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Old 07-22-08, 07:08 PM   #24
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Do not throw chain lube in your backpack and expect it to stay in the bottle...
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Old 07-22-08, 07:14 PM   #25
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Do not leave an open can of soft drink on the picnic table during high summer.
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