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  1. #1
    Look! My Spine! RubenX's Avatar
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    Wife's new delusion - The war hero Dad

    For those foo'ers that don't know me yet, I'm the guy with the nut-case wife :S

    We were watching a documentary about Vietnam and Korean wars on the history channel. It was that famous footage of the US evacuating the embassy by helicopters... all chaos. Then, out of the blue, my wife told our son: "That's what your grampa used to do. He was one of those helicopter pilots rescuing people on that war..." and she went on for a few minutes as my face went WTF?

    I've known this family for 15 years. I know everything there is to know about my father in law. He WAS NOT a 'rescue pilot' in the war. He was not a pilot, EVER. He was a regular army guy, during non-conflict times, that never made it to Sargent. He went to a few bases during his short service and got out when foreign policy was getting nasty. My respect for serving his country and all... but for God's sake!

    I had an argument with the wife about this. I want my son to learn about his family history, but learn the truth and nothing but the truth. My dad never made it past the 8th grade and he was a janitor his whole live. He never went to the war because he failed the military entrance exam thingie. Not pretty or glamorous but it's the truth. I love my dad, even tho he was nothing 'especial'. I love him because he was a good dad to me and that's all I need. He was always there for me.

    I went on the internet and printed the time-lines for both wars. Then I made a small list of family events and dates to show my wife that his dad was not part of the military when the conflicts occurred. Still, she insists that her dad was there, rescuing people from Saigon. I wonder if she came up with this on her own, or maybe her old man told her the fake stories. Maybe her dad was trying to make up excuses for not being there. But still, the dates just don't match.

    I should had gotten out of this problem when it was still easy, before the children.

  2. #2
    fishologist cohophysh's Avatar
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    Dude, if she made this up she is having some severe mental issues. I remember from your last post that all she did was sit around the house all day. Like I said in your previous post, you guys need to seek help fast.
    We cannot solve problems with the same level of consciousness that created them. A.E.

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  3. #3
    Warrior Cyclist cycle17's Avatar
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    Ummmm...yea. You really need to consider getting your wife into therapy. And sit your son down and tell him the truth and that mommy got mixed up confused. Sorry to hear about all the problems you've had recently. Hope in the end...it works out.
    Just Do It..

  4. #4
    Domestic Domestique UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
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    She needs psychiatric help. Now. It sounds as though things are heading downhill for her, and she's dragging the family with. She needs help. If she won't go, you may have to force her.

  5. #5
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    Maybe she is trying to give the kid a model to look up to, but there will be Hell to pay in the long run when the "war hero dad" role model is found out to be just fantasy.

  6. #6
    Spelling Snob Hobartlemagne's Avatar
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    I think she may end up being institutionalized at some point. She clearly prefers to live
    in a different world than the reality world.

    The first rule of flats is You don't talk about flats!

  7. #7
    Up on the Down Side CyLowe97's Avatar
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    It's well known that I'm the kid from the cover of U2's Boy and War albums.

    Meh. It's old war stories. Don't ruin the kid with the truth if it's going to devistate him. If he's old enough to understand that people sometimes pump up their credentials, then level with him.

    edit.... better yet, have him ask his grandfather about his military experience. Get it straight from the source.

  8. #8
    more ape than man timmhaan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CyLowe97 View Post
    It's well known that I'm the kid from the cover of U2's Boy and War albums.

    Meh. It's old war stories. Don't ruin the kid with the truth if it's going to devistate him. If he's old enough to understand that people sometimes pump up their credentials, then level with him.

    edit.... better yet, have him ask his grandfather about his military experience. Get it straight from the source.
    good idea.

    i wouldn't go tearing down your wife's dad in front of the kid, but it would be a good idea to urge the kid to find the correct answers for himself.

  9. #9
    Senior Member hos13's Avatar
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    I tell my kids I'm a Super Hero when I go work

    Does your wife believe what she is saying?
    Last edited by hos13; 07-24-08 at 12:39 PM.
    "Don't give up, don't ever give up" jimmyv

  10. #10
    Up on the Down Side CyLowe97's Avatar
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    Come to think of it, I have been telling my kids that various Tour de France riders are folks I know from bikeforums. They think aham23 is current winning the green jersey points competition.

    This keeps their attention for about 10 seconds before they start demanding I change the channel back to Backyardigans (which, by the way, I created).


  11. #11
    Overacting because I can SpongeDad's Avatar
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    At least she's pointing to something worthwhile. Sure, your son is deluded. But at least he thinks that "in my family, we brave things and try to help people."
    “Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm." (Churchill)

    "I am a courageous cyclist." (SpongeDad)

  12. #12
    more ape than man timmhaan's Avatar
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    i hate when people lie to kids. i remember many times when adults lied to me, and when i look back on it, it's soured my memories of them.

  13. #13
    Look! My Spine! RubenX's Avatar
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    THX for the replies guys... you made me laugh

    I did took the conversation private, away from the child, just wife and me. Still she was stating that it was all true, her dad being the daredevil rescue helicopter pilot, saving people while under fire right there on top of the Saigon embassy.

    I don't discard the possibility of her dad making up these stories when she was younger and he was absent most of the time. It is not the first amazing story about her dad. So far her dad has been:

    - A CIA agent that was called to work as a spy on the middle east, right before desert storm.
    - The greatest accountant the world have ever known with a masters degree in accounting.
    - A very wealthy fellow with millions of dollars in the bank.
    - A very responsible father.

    But the truth is, he was with a mistress during dessert storm, he dropped out of college, he never saved any money, he still owes 16k of child support from his 2 recognized children (now adults) and he has 3 more sons that never recognized to avoid the child support.

    I would love to have a chat with this guy and ask him "WTF you did that messed up your daughter so bad?". But we are not on speaking terms anymore since his last 3 month long visit, when I told him to get a job and help with the rent and bills.

    My mother told me it was a nut-case family... I didn't listened.

  14. #14
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    go to a shrink that doesn't rely on pills. pills don't fix ****. that's my experience and that of some conscience having shrinks.

  15. #15
    Fax Transport Specialist black_box's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by goldfishin View Post
    go to a shrink that doesn't rely on pills. pills don't fix ****. that's my experience and that of some conscience having shrinks.
    +1, try shock therapy. car batteries are readily available.

  16. #16
    New! With Self Loathing! scottmorrison99's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hos13 View Post
    I tell my kids I'm a Super Hero when I go work
    I don't have to tell mine that. Lycra commute outfit=Superhero costume. Obvious.

  17. #17
    Squirrelly Member trsidn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scottmorrison99 View Post
    I don't have to tell mine that. Lycra commute outfit=Superhero costume. Obvious.
    my kids didn't buy it
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Yet more proof that I'm.. well, pretty much right about everything.

  18. #18
    minnesota nick mrnicho's Avatar
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    I can't fool my kids anymore. I told them that I had invented air when I was in high school. The 5 year old giggled and the 9 year old rolled her eyes.

    Ungrateful little turds....

  19. #19
    bac
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    Senior Member bac's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RubenX View Post
    Then, out of the blue, my wife told our son: "That's what your grampa used to do. He was one of those helicopter pilots rescuing people on that war..." and she went on for a few minutes as my face went WTF?
    Wow - if it isn't the truth .... wow.

    ... Brad

  20. #20
    Squirrelly Member trsidn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RubenX View Post

    My mother told me it was a nut-case family... I didn't listened.
    heh, we have all ignored advice at one time or another. Or more than once

    Maybe your first order of business should be to get some counseling for yourself to help determine a course of action.
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Yet more proof that I'm.. well, pretty much right about everything.

  21. #21
    Up on the Down Side CyLowe97's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trsidn View Post
    Maybe your first order of business should be to get some counseling for yourself to help determine a course of action.
    Nah. The first order of business is to post the problem on the internets, where everyone is exactly what they say they are.

  22. #22
    Squirrelly Member trsidn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CyLowe97 View Post
    Nah. The first order of business is to post the problem on the internets, where everyone is exactly what they say they are.
    ok, second
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Yet more proof that I'm.. well, pretty much right about everything.

  23. #23
    Fax Transport Specialist black_box's Avatar
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    making up heroic war stories? sounds like she's fit to be vice president...

  24. #24
    long time visiter Alfster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by black_box View Post
    making up heroic war stories? sounds like she's fit to be vice president...
    OK, that was funny

  25. #25
    Senior Member ken cummings's Avatar
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    I shared a house with a compulsive liar and her two little girls for ten years. One ended up a single welfare mom and the other stiffed relatives for $35,000 for a training program she didn't finish. Your kid may already need help.
    This space open

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