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Old 07-25-08, 12:58 AM   #1
SingingSabre 
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Depression

3 people died on me in a 2 week period. Coworker died of leukemia at 21, almost-boyfriend (22?) of a close friend committed suicide, and a friend (28?) was murdered in Phoenix.

5 days after the murder, details about it were released. She was stabbed multiple times and almost decapitated.

4 hours after I find out about the details of the murder, my dog of 14.5 years dies in my mom's and my arms. This was last Wednesday at 1:45AM. We buried her under the orange tree.

I'm feeling quite depressed. I haven't had these thoughts or emotions since I was in high school. I have an extremely short fuse and am feeling very, very violent, which is very unlike me. Cycling only helps so much, but I'd probably have been arrested by now if I didn't ride.

I just want to beat the **** out of somebody or sometime, preferably someone on my A**hole List.

I'm going camping with some friends for a night to celebrate a birthday, then family's coming into town, then a family trip. I haven't had time to deal with my emotions...just dealing with idiots, bigots, asshats, penisclowns, ******nozzles, morons, imbeciles, etc. I even almost started **** with a coworker today over her stupid, moronic, inane whining.

I'd also like to give a big "F**K YOU!" to the idiots in my life. My last two bosses, my first 5th grade teacher, my dad's 2nd ex-wife, my high school chemistry teacher, Ellis Harper (you 'nozzle), and a couple choice members on this site (you know who you are).

I'd like to give a shout out to the people who make this corner of the internet tolerable, all the cool people of Foo and the knowledgeable people in Commuting and Mechanics.

I'm going to go drink hot cocoa and then maybe get tanked.
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Old 07-25-08, 01:03 AM   #2
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Good lord, man.

I raise my glass (of water, sorry) to things getting better for ya.
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Old 07-25-08, 01:08 AM   #3
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Thanks, man.

I'm sick of people.
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Old 07-25-08, 01:09 AM   #4
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Take the time while you're camping to clear your head. Scream, cry, throw rocks, or just listen to the wind in the trees. At least to let yourself decompress a little before family rolls into town, because that won't help you to relax any.

Sorry for things right now. It'll get better.
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Old 07-25-08, 01:12 AM   #5
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I am honestly sorry for your personal tragedy,




but,





you started in with the personal attacks and name-calling first, based on a selective misreading of my post. You were looking to get pissed off, you succeeded, and now you're acting like a child.



Good luck getting drunk.

(Oh, and act like you didn't read this because I'm on your ignore list.)
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Old 07-25-08, 01:14 AM   #6
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Oh, look who's response I can't read. Mr. Bigot himself. So nice of you to show up. F***wad.
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Old 07-25-08, 01:15 AM   #7
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Take the time while you're camping to clear your head. Scream, cry, throw rocks, or just listen to the wind in the trees. At least to let yourself decompress a little before family rolls into town, because that won't help you to relax any.

Sorry for things right now. It'll get better.
Thanks. I'll try to get some time in for that. Doubt it, though. I'll probably just check into the supply of beer I'll have.

Maybe I need some karaoke and firedancing...maybe not. *Sigh*

I'm so mixed up.
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Old 07-25-08, 01:15 AM   #8
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Rant all you need. Foosters are the best. Good luck man.

I'd like to take that back. Many Foosters are the best.

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Old 07-25-08, 01:19 AM   #9
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Ah! Penisclown!!

Best thread evar!!!!111
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Old 07-25-08, 01:19 AM   #10
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Thanks, Unsafe.
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Old 07-25-08, 01:20 AM   #11
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Ah! Penisclown!!

Best thread evar!!!!111
It just came to me. And the image is amusing. (I had to hit the delete key 6 times in this post...and this sentence raised it to 8)
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Old 07-25-08, 02:18 AM   #12
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So sorry. That is a lot to handle at once.

Be careful with the beer. Sometimes it can fuel things up rather than cooling them down.

At one point in my life, I was feeling really nuts, and I actually enrolled in a gym. Not a health club, but a real gym, where people came in with shorts/sweatpants and T-shirts and just worked it as hard as each was able. I got into pushing the weights because it made me feel like I was pushing the burden off me. ...One day, I looked over at some really huge guy who was pushing god knows how many pounds, straining and moaning out loud. He was all like "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-agh!" I just kept thinking, "He must be going through a lot more than me." May or may not be your solution. Just an idea.

Might be a good idea to check into some free or cheap counseling during this time. What you are going through is really intense and painful. It will take more than a camping weekend to deal with it all.

My hopeful thoughts are with you.
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Old 07-25-08, 09:44 AM   #13
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We all have things in our lives that bring us down, the lucky ones get it spaced out enough that we can cope. Seems like you're just getting yours all at once. You are absolutely entitled to feel like crap, but you are also entitled to get over it. Get whatever help you think you need, there's no shame in it. Don't let the anger corrode you. Once you make it through this, you'll be rock-solid.

Peace.
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Old 07-25-08, 09:54 AM   #14
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Just remember that life is a roller coaster don't get too down at the lows or too high at the top. Things will improve they always do.
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Old 07-25-08, 10:04 AM   #15
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i'm really sorry for your losses. don't be afraid to seek help, whether it's from your friends, or a professional.

best of luck to you.
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Old 07-25-08, 10:17 AM   #16
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did you save any money on car insurance?
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Old 07-25-08, 10:18 AM   #17
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Find a boxing club. Hit the heavy bag. If they let you - find someone to spar with.

Acceptable violence is your friend.
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Old 07-25-08, 10:23 AM   #18
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did you save any money on car insurance?
I did when I hit 25 this year in March...

edbikebabe, I'm trying to get back to my fencing club to beat the crap out of people with swords, but I just can't find the time.
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Old 07-25-08, 10:52 AM   #19
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SS, my regards. That is certainly more than the average person should be dealt to handle at one time, but my impression is that you're strong and full of integrity. You'll get through this just fine.

Keep venting here.

And maybe one of these?
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Old 07-25-08, 11:10 AM   #20
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I think you've taken an important first step in coming here and saying that you're upset and angry--you have every right to be. But I would be wary of misplacing my anger and letting it enter into your relationships with third parties or with your thoughts about yourself (EDIT: or, rather, just be aware of it). (this was not motivated by your interactions with other members on this forum)

Just my 2 cents.

I'm sorry for your losses, and good luck.

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Old 07-25-08, 11:18 AM   #21
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Old 07-25-08, 11:18 AM   #22
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I think you've taken an important first step in coming here and saying that you're upset and angry--you have every right to be. But I would be wary of misplacing my anger and letting it enter into your relationships with third parties or with your thoughts about yourself (EDIT: or, rather, just be aware of it). (this was not motivated by your interactions with other members on this forum)

Just my 2 cents.

I'm sorry for your losses, and good luck.
Thanks.

I'm very well aware when my fuse is short, and I warn people when it is.

I was a very violent youth due to many circumstances.

I know I'm a smart, talented, all-around-good guy. I just have emotions out of control right now, and that's not good.

What I really need is a massage to get all the crap my body's holding on to out of me...but I can't afford that, or the time off I need to recover. It's a very frustrating place to be, and that's compounding the issue.

I'm going to go fry up some discarded chicken ovum with artificially heat-induced stale bread.

Artifice, thank you.
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Old 07-25-08, 11:19 AM   #23
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Old 07-25-08, 11:25 AM   #24
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Sorry to hear everything piled on all at once. If you are still feeling anger, maybe you could take it out on the TapOut van.
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Old 07-25-08, 11:30 AM   #25
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Something that works for me when I am aggressive is to go workout till I am ready to drop. Then I am too shot to shoot anyone...

Sometimes you just have to bleed off the adrenaline.
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