2003 Stella Award Candidates
Candidates for the annual "Stella Awards" are named after 81-year-old Stella
Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That
case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits
in the United States. The following are this year's 7 Stella Award Winners
1. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of
her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably
surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms.
2. A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses
when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman
apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he
was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps...
3. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had
just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the
garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He
couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage
locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson
found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of
Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's
insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury
agreed to the tune of $500,000...
4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical
expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's
beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was
less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little
provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a
5. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at
her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument...
6. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night
club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the
floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton
was trying to sneak out without paying her check, awarded $12,000 and dental
7. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma purchased a brand new 32-foot
Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the
freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers
seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly,
the R.V. left the road. The owner's manual did not say that he couldn't
actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The
company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in
case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation
One of GWB's positives is the fact he wants a 250K cap on pain and suffering given for medical malpractice Woohoo.
I'm thinking about suing Cannondale for pain and suffering as that is a large part of what road biking is about, or maybe I should sue whoever decided that road should go directally over a hill, all I need is a jury of my peers, any volunteers? I'll split the profit, I mean compensation!