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  1. #1
    Not so fast
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    Do I stand a chance with Artifice? [DELIRIOUS]

    What's my best strategy in getting her mini-massive thighs clenched around the stoker seat of my tandem?

    [Please note DELIRIOUS tag is in force.]

  2. #2
    Pwnerer Wordbiker's Avatar
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    Ketamine and duct tape.
    Quote Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
    Ski, bike and wish I was gay.

  3. #3
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doolally View Post
    mini-massive thighs clenched around the stoker seat of my tandem?
    I have a feeling that this might be a euphemism for something far less wholesome!

  4. #4
    Lucky 47 crash66's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doolally View Post
    What's my best strategy in getting her mini-massive thighs clenched around the stoker seat of my tandem?

    [Please note DELIRIOUS tag is in force.]

    Yes, but who will pilot?
    Has anyone else noticed that 47 is a magic number?

  5. #5
    Pwnerer Wordbiker's Avatar
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    Mind transplant with Brad Pitt?
    Quote Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
    Ski, bike and wish I was gay.

  6. #6
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Learn to do a full body John Mayer impersonation.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  7. #7
    AEO
    AEO is offline
    Senior Member AEO's Avatar
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    ticket for a cruise in the Bahamas may get you there.
    Food for thought: if you aren't dead by 2050, you and your entire family will be within a few years from starvation. Now that is a cruel gift to leave for your offspring. ;)
    http://sanfrancisco.ibtimes.com/arti...ger-photos.htm

  8. #8
    Descends Like Avalanche HigherGround's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doolally View Post
    What's my best strategy in getting her mini-massive thighs clenched around the stoker seat of my tandem?
    Hmmm, is that what the kids are calling it these days?
    The rider in my avatar is David Etxebarria, not me.

  9. #9
    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ efrobert's Avatar
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    Isn't Artifice a dude???



    Oh wait, I'm thinking of UnsafeAlpine. I always get those two confused.
    Either way, beer is your friend.

  10. #10
    carbon positive lifestyle carbonlife's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by efrobert View Post
    Isn't Artifice a dude???

    Oh wait, I'm thinking of UnsafeAlpine. I always get those two confused.
    Either way, beer is your friend.
    It was established by c0urt that:

    1. Artifice is a girl.
    2. UnsafeAlpine and Artifice are the same person.

    Thusly she is now known as UnsafeArtifice, and unfortunately AllenG provided the picture proving it.

    .

  11. #11
    superArti artifice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post
    Ketamine and duct tape.
    ooh! my favorite cocktail.

    Quote Originally Posted by AEO View Post
    ticket for a cruise in the Bahamas may get you there.
    now we're onto something, folks.

    Quote Originally Posted by crash66 View Post
    Yes, but who will pilot?
    I'm kind of a crazy driver, but if you're ok with that, I'm ok with it. I also tend to believe that speed limits do not apply.

  12. #12
    S.African in Switzerland The_Guru's Avatar
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    A couple of bottles of whiskey should be all it takes to get her to stoke - heck, for that she'd probably do *ALL* the pedalling.

  13. #13
    J E R S E Y S B E S T Jerseysbest's Avatar
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    This thread disgusts me

  14. #14
    superArti artifice's Avatar
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    the first rule of foo is never take anything seriously in foo.

  15. #15
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    what if it is tagged [SERIOUS]?
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  16. #16
    carbon positive lifestyle carbonlife's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    what if it is tagged [SERIOUS]?
    If the thread had been tagged [SERIOUS] then clearly he would have just been asking how to tell Artifice that he wants to take her on a tandem bike ride.

    .

  17. #17
    Bike ≠ Car ≠ Ped. BarracksSi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by artifice View Post
    ooh! my favorite cocktail.

    now we're onto something, folks.

    I'm kind of a crazy driver, but if you're ok with that, I'm ok with it. I also tend to believe that speed limits do not apply.
    Heh... you have a favored humping speed...

    And you said "cocktail".. heh heh heh heh...

  18. #18
    Dirt-riding heretic DrPete's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post
    Ketamine and duct tape.
    That's in pretty poor taste... Date **** victims might find this not so funny.
    "Unless he was racing there was no way he could match my speed."

  19. #19
    Lucky 47 crash66's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by artifice View Post
    ooh! my favorite cocktail.

    now we're onto something, folks.

    I'm kind of a crazy driver, but if you're ok with that, I'm ok with it. I also tend to believe that speed limits do not apply.

    Yes, but can you steer when you're both on the back seat (I'm just imagining that this is what UA was imagining...)
    Has anyone else noticed that 47 is a magic number?

  20. #20
    Pwnerer Wordbiker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrPete View Post
    That's in pretty poor taste... Date **** victims might find this not so funny.
    It wasn't a suggestion, just a comically abysmal asessment of Doolally's ability to woo artifice....teasing if you please.

    I mean no offense to victims of any sort...unless it's Doolally getting pwned by artifice for starting a thread like this. Mmmmkay?

    Besides...I think she got the joke.
    Quote Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
    Ski, bike and wish I was gay.

  21. #21
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jerseysbest View Post
    This thread disgusts me
    Your disgust threads me.

  22. #22
    J E R S E Y S B E S T Jerseysbest's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by x136 View Post
    Your disgust threads me.
    Haha... You getting "threaded" disgusts me

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