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  1. #1
    Look! My Spine! RubenX's Avatar
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    The Home Owners Assoc. Trashing Thread (rant)

    So my lawn is half an inch higher than the neighbors? WHO CARES? Only a bunch of old retirees who don't work and have nothing else to do except walking their dogs arounds, looking at peoples front yards. You gonna hire somebody and send me the bill? Well, maybe if you teach your dog to crap your own lawn, mine would not grow so f'king much.

    I can't cut the grass TWICE a week. I won't! It's ridiculous. If it were up to me, I would pour 3 inches of concrete all over the front yard and paint it green. Grass is over-rated.

    And what's that crap about asking for permition to paint the house? making sure I'm using approved coulours? So much for the land of the free, home of the brave

  2. #2
    Lucky 47 crash66's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RubenX View Post
    So my lawn is half an inch higher than the neighbors? WHO CARES? Only a bunch of old retirees who don't work and have nothing else to do except walking their dogs arounds, looking at peoples front yards. You gonna hire somebody and send me the bill? Well, maybe if you teach your dog to crap your own lawn, mine would not grow so f'king much.

    I can't cut the grass TWICE a week. I won't! It's ridiculous. If it were up to me, I would pour 3 inches of concrete all over the front yard and paint it green. Grass is over-rated.

    And what's that crap about asking for permition to paint the house? making sure I'm using approved coulours? So much for the land of the free, home of the brave

    Astroturf.

    And it seems like time to return some of the crap to where it belongs. In a flaming bag, on their front porch.
    Has anyone else noticed that 47 is a magic number?

  3. #3
    Dirt-riding heretic DrPete's Avatar
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    I got a nastygram from our HOA explaining in very condescending language about how I have to pick up after my dogs because they're not allowed to destroy or befoul other people's property--as if I don't know this.

    Turns out it was a neighbor who had gotten a new dog and the wife didn't want to pick up the poop--so she left it. Did that keep us from getting the passive-aggressive nastygram? Of course not...



    Now we have to save up for next year's inquisition, I mean assessment, where they come around and tell you everything that's wrong with the exterior of your house, complete with a deadline for when it must be fixed. If you don't fix it in time, you get a fine.

    Effing townhouses.
    "Unless he was racing there was no way he could match my speed."

  4. #4
    Lucky 47 crash66's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DrPete View Post
    I got a nastygram from our HOA explaining in very condescending language about how I have to pick up after my dogs because they're not allowed to destroy or befoul other people's property--as if I don't know this.

    Turns out it was a neighbor who had gotten a new dog and the wife didn't want to pick up the poop--so she left it. Did that keep us from getting the passive-aggressive nastygram? Of course not...



    Now we have to save up for next year's inquisition, I mean assessment, where they come around and tell you everything that's wrong with the exterior of your house, complete with a deadline for when it must be fixed. If you don't fix it in time, you get a fine.

    Effing townhouses.

    I had a runaround years back when I bought a townhouse. I made the mistake of buying my own cental AC unit instead of buying through the builder. So when I scheduled the delivery, I realized that one of the bushes the builder's landscapers had planted was right where the AC needed to go. So I called the builder to ask them to remove it. They said call the association. I called the association, they said call the builder.

    So I waited until nightfall, took an f'ing shovel and dug up the bush myself--and knocked everyone's cable out for 2 days in the process.

    Oh well...
    Has anyone else noticed that 47 is a magic number?

  5. #5
    tired donnamb's Avatar
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    HOA = Do Not Want
    "Real wars of words are harder to win. They require thought, insight, precision, articulation, knowledge, and experience. They require the humility to admit when you are wrong. They recognize that the dialectic is not about making us look at you, but about us all looking together for the truth."

  6. #6
    Banned
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    There was a prison **** scene in American Me that I'd like to see applied to these HOA's, something to do with a Rambo II-style knife, complete with sawtooth edges....

    It's bad enough I have to pay property taxes, so I'm just renting from the gov't, but to have some other 'homeowners' telling me what to do with 'my' property...I don't EVEN think so. When you pay all my bills, you can tell me what to do and not do.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Sledbikes's Avatar
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    i heard about a guy in florida whose house the HOA tried to foreclose on because his harley was always outside he took a bulldozer to the house and gave the keys to the president of the HOA.
    riding and pimpin again

  8. #8
    Rider of Bikes
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    My HOA got into a pissing match over a roof. We have to replace with cedar or architectual grade stuff. They spent so much on lawyers fees they could have bought the lady three or four new roofs. And the bottom line is.... It about doubled our HOA fees. Never again will I purchase a home, within a HOA.

  9. #9
    J E R S E Y S B E S T Jerseysbest's Avatar
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    If your bought into the HOA, you shoulda known...

    I would never buy a place that was in one. If the area is so bad they need a HOA to tell people how to up keep their property, I wouldn't want to live there.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Sledbikes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jerseysbest View Post
    If your bought into the HOA, you shoulda known...

    I would never buy a place that was in one. If the area is so bad they need a HOA to tell people how to up keep their property, I wouldn't want to live there.
    x2 the HOA is essentially a prison
    riding and pimpin again

  11. #11
    Dolce far niente bigbossman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jerseysbest View Post
    If your bought into the HOA, you shoulda known....
    +1

    HOA's are a pain in the ass - agreed.

    BUT - you signed up for it, so you have no one but yourself to blame. Did you not get a copy of the C&R from the association or realtor representing you before you purchased/leased? If not, you should have. The HOA's extrent of control over your life is spelled out in the C&R document.
    "Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin, itís the triumphant twang of a bedspring."

    S. J. Perelman

  12. #12
    Pwnerer Wordbiker's Avatar
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    I think I'll form my own HOA, Population:Me.

    Rules:
    Whatever I say goes, barring whatever may get me in trouble with the feds.
    Quote Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
    Ski, bike and wish I was gay.

  13. #13
    But on the road more MTBLover's Avatar
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    HOA=The new Bund. I'm with Donna- do not want.

  14. #14
    Senior Member WilliamK1974's Avatar
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    This is one of those issues that makes me hesitant about buying a condo or something like that. We live in kind of a semi-redneck neighborhood (no HOA). Now, we had an idea of that when we bought, but it's been worse than we imagined. I'm always afraid someone's going to do something to my outside animals.

    So, there are several condos going up in the more "hip and enlightened" areas of town that are very attractive to us. Problem is that all our animals would have to become inside animals and we're not sure how that would work. Also not sure about the rules concerning pets, etc. This is three or four years down the road at least, so we have time. We won't do it unless we can keep our current house and turn it into a rental. Seems like the perfect way to get back at the neighbors who've been so irritating lol.

  15. #15
    Look! My Spine! RubenX's Avatar
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    Sometimes it is unavoidable. Laws vary but... you can buy a house in a HOAless street and have all your neighbors organizing a HOA 3 weeks later. Anyway I have to cut the f'king grass tomorow... cutting grass on a SUNDAY... a sacred bike riding SUNDAY for God's sake. It's gonna take like 3 hours of my bike riding time. I'm thinking about getting creative with my lawnmower... will update tomorow.

  16. #16
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    I've seen some insane HOAs.

    One I've seen at a neighborhood a couple miles away from me actually dictates the type and year of car one has to own and drive. (Basically one has to own "luxury car brand" made in the last 5 years, because having a population of recent BMWs and Lincolns parked in driveways is thought to boost real estate value. Own a honda, the HOA contract says it can be towed off, and the owner fined $1000.)

    Another HOA requires all cars to be in the garage after dusk, with a fine is someone is parked in the street or driveway.

    My take: Live is too short for that garbage. I just hope I can find some land in a rural area, and if I want to hang an engine from a tree, nobody can do a single thing about it.

  17. #17
    Senior Member CollectiveInk's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RubenX View Post

    I can't cut the grass TWICE a week. I won't! It's ridiculous. If it were up to me, I would pour 3 inches of concrete all over the front yard and paint it green. Grass is over-rated.


    ROFL!!! I thought I was the only one who'd had that idea! Wouldn't it be nice to say "well, the green is fading a bit... better grab a can of spray paint" vs. "dang, another day down the tubes cuz I had to mow and appease the neighbors."

    When business got really busy, it was approx. 4 weeks before I cut my lawn. Now, mind you, it looked pretty nice, what with the wild flowers and sprouted grass (no weeds) but my neighbors are a mow twice a week bunch. So I was going to have a sign made that said "Don't fuss about my lawn - it's Xeriscaping" or "It's not overgrown - it's saving the environment."

    Post pics of the "creative lawn mowing" you did.
    Tim
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    Specialized Allez Elite / Haro Extreme x6 Expert / Trek 4300 / Fuji Supreme SL / LeMond Reno - converted for TT / Giant Warp DS1 / Tommaso Ponza / Trek 4300 - 13.5" (For Sale)

  18. #18
    Senior Member WilliamK1974's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mlts22 View Post
    I've seen some insane HOAs.

    One I've seen at a neighborhood a couple miles away from me actually dictates the type and year of car one has to own and drive. (Basically one has to own "luxury car brand" made in the last 5 years, because having a population of recent BMWs and Lincolns parked in driveways is thought to boost real estate value. Own a honda, the HOA contract says it can be towed off, and the owner fined $1000.)

    Another HOA requires all cars to be in the garage after dusk, with a fine is someone is parked in the street or driveway.

    My take: Live is too short for that garbage. I just hope I can find some land in a rural area, and if I want to hang an engine from a tree, nobody can do a single thing about it.
    My brother's ex in-laws lived in a neighborhood like that built around a golf course back in the 1970s. The ex-father-in-law was one of the worst to rant on about people parking in the street and stuff like that. One of the houses by him had been for sale and got a new owner. They owned some kind of contracting-type business and had a work truck which was parked in the driveway. He'd get bent out of shape and start talking about how he might as well be living in the hood. I think part of his deal was that when he bought his house 38 years ago, the HOA was very powerful, and they got lax in the 1990s. They were trying to regroup and it was still too early to tell if it was going to work out.

    When we bought our house from my wife's sister, she told us that the older couple on the street who owned more than one house in the neighborhood had tried to organize a HOA for the street, but not but maybe one other family was the least bit interested. This isn't a country club neighborhood, after all. That couple tried to buy our house after my grandmother died, but my mother pretty much said anyone but her lol. I hope it never comes up again.

  19. #19
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    Another thing about HOAs I don't like.

    I already "rent" property from the governments. Should I fail to pay my property taxes, they get the property.

    I don't want to "rent" my property from HOAs either.

  20. #20
    Studs Terkel Johnny_Monkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RubenX View Post
    Sometimes it is unavoidable. Laws vary but... you can buy a house in a HOAless street and have all your neighbors organizing a HOA 3 weeks later.
    Surely if you don't sign up they have no power over you.

  21. #21
    It's easy being green. recumelectric's Avatar
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    It's a necessary evil in a condo/townhouse situation. There has to be some means of maintaining community areas and paying community bills.

    My HOA sucks for opposite reasons. Things have been allowed to atrophy over time. I do like the fact that I'm not in an HOA that wants to run peoples' lives. I'm irritated that there's not enough cash to re-do all the roofs.

    I don't know that HOA's are necessary for neighborhoods with single-family homes. I've heard all the creepy stuff about bored/board members peeping over fences for violations, and that's just ridiculous cr--, which is usually based on jealousy over what someone's got in their backyard.

    On the other hand, I knew someone who was in a HOA in an older neighborhood. Fees were $50/ year. One year, the group decided to pool the money and their time to clean up some old lady's front yard. She wasn't able to manage it anymore and couldn't afford help. HOA did it with no charge to her. ...That's how it should be.
    When I ride, the troubles just roll off my back.

    Originally Posted by Cody Broken :
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    Every bike is noble steed, a stalwart machine, a clever device, a stealthy speedster.

  22. #22
    Senior Member Rex G's Avatar
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    Well, try setting your mower's cutting height just a bit lower than the neighbors, and mow every other day for a while. Just a thought.

    I live in a small city, and some of the zoning ordinances are about as bad as HOA rules. When I retire, I want to buy acreage outside the commuting radius of Houston, Austin, and San Antonio, where I can have more than four pooches, fence the front yard if I want, repair the house and fence without applying for permits, and work on my Jeep in my own driveway.
    Have Colt, will travel...

  23. #23
    Senior Member cyclezealot's Avatar
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    Our condo assoc back in Fla almost 20 years ago did all they could to prevent us from selling our property , because they did not like our proposed buyer. In interviews they must have been snide and forced them to not want to buy. After a couple rejections, my patience wore thin. The last one. They really wanted the property. ( We were now vacant owners, not able to rent or sell, living thousands of miles away. ) The last rejection, I know they were nasty to proposed buyers, because they were a mixed couple. White professional with an oriental wife. ) That was it. I stopped paying the montly fees until it sold. The process took almost three years. I had to take the last years fees out of what little profit we made out of the property. / Ever since we tell ourselves. Anything with a HOA.... Never again.
    Pray for the Dead and Fight like Hell for the Living






    ^ Since January 1, 2012

  24. #24
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    Post photos of your lawn and a neighbors.

    Don't rake up the Sudafed blister packages, lye cans, and Coleman fuel jugs before taking the picture.

    Just kidding.

  25. #25
    Look! My Spine! RubenX's Avatar
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    Well, I tried to make a design with the lawn. Basically I was cutting at different levels to try to draw an image. I was coming out pretty nice until wife got outside and told me to quit pissing off the neighbors. I was making a hand flipping the finger. Oh well... next time maybe...

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