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Old 08-02-08, 09:33 PM   #1
Sledbikes
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nail on the head

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Saw this online somewhere, cracks me up, spoke cards and the matching frame/rim color are the instant ID around here for a fixter (fixie hipster). From what I've seen same type crowd as Critical Mass, will scream obscenities at you at how ungreen you are as they toss their empty beer can and cigarette butt on the ground.

<SNIP>

Fixie: Originally intended for track use, and until recently the preserve of hardcore urban riders (principally couriers), the fixed-wheel bike has, in just a few years, been traduced by bandwagon-jumping hipsters.

Fixter-spotters can award themselves extra points for observing the following features:

Rolled-up jeans

Double toestraps

U-lock in back pocket

Velocity Deep V rims (fluorescent colours +2 points)

"Floorbuffer" handlebars - Straight bars cut super-short

"BS" bars - DIY bullhorns made by inverting and hacksawing conventional drop bars

Flip-flop wheel - fixed sprocket on one side of the hub, freewheel on the other

One aero wheel and one conventional spoked wheel

Brooks saddle

BMX grips (colour matching rims +2)

Desirable brands eg. Bianchi, Colnago, Surly (Condor +2, Moyer: Instant win)

Pipe lagging on top tube - use uncertain. Possibly to ensure knee comfort when performing no-hands trackstands

Spoke cards - commemorate alleycat races ("I went to Williamsburg and all I got was this lousy spoke card" +2)

Let's ride !
Fixter: "You've got to get fixed, man, a fixie's like the quintessential...er, distillation of you know, what a bike is !"

some of you dont know but i spent a short time in jail for Salvador Dali-ng someones fixie after he made a rather off color comment about my chopper.




and no i dont have to pay for the fixie repairs the cops made sure he didnt get my information
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Old 08-02-08, 09:54 PM   #2
c0urt
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you painted someone elses bike?
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Old 08-02-08, 09:56 PM   #3
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that's insane! (he has me baffled.)
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Old 08-02-08, 10:04 PM   #4
Sledbikes
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you painted someone elses bike?
i re-geometrized his wheels and frame
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Old 08-02-08, 10:18 PM   #5
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some of you dont know but i spent a short time in jail for Salvador Dali-ng someones fixie after he made a rather off color comment about my chopper.
Um, congratulations?
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Old 08-02-08, 10:31 PM   #6
Wordbiker
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Melted it with a torch?


Sweet.
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Old 08-03-08, 03:55 AM   #7
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come to denver. plenty of fixter material for you here.
my personal favorite is the ninja fixter going the wrong way down a one way street at 2 am after the bars close on friday night.
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