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  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    My bro in law is...

    Gay!

    He told me last Saturday. Weird how that just changes so darn much. Well... errrm... It doesn't change a thing. He's still my brother in law, and my best friend. I just got to know him a bit better.
    Does explain why he was so cranky for the past half year. Was quite a load to bear, not being able to get it off your cheast. I'm glad he told me, he brightened up instantly. Feels good to be able to talk to him again and see his smile again. Every time I asked him if something was wrong, he told me he was ok, and was doing fine. Knowing he wasn't I just had to wait and see if things got better.

    When I look at some details in his life, yeah, I could have know he is gay. But obvious? Not at all. He just likes to go shopping, watches America's Next Top Model and didn't pay attention to girls at all.

    Only thing that could potentially bother me is that we've been roomies for over a year. Though, I don't think he already knew back then...

    Still feel a bit weird, anyone have some tips on how to deal with this?

  2. #2
    L T X B O M P F A N S R apricissimus's Avatar
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    For a second I was thinking he was your sister's husband, which would be a problem...

    Just remember he's the same guy you always knew. And try not to be weird about it.

  3. #3
    NW Georgia Mountains On Your Right's Avatar
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    5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1
    He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.

  4. #4
    long time visiter Alfster's Avatar
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    dumb question, is he still married to your sister?

  5. #5
    long time visiter Alfster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by apricissimus View Post
    For a second I was thinking he was your sister's husband, which would be a problem...

    Just remember he's the same guy you always knew. And try not to be weird about it.
    What makes you think he's not the sister's husband?

  6. #6
    Squirrelly Member trsidn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alfster View Post
    What makes you think he's not the sister's husband?
    been roomies for over a year?
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Yet more proof that I'm.. well, pretty much right about everything.

  7. #7
    long time visiter Alfster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trsidn View Post
    been roomies for over a year?
    Could have been split up from his wife for a year and staying with his brother-in-law.

  8. #8
    Squirrelly Member trsidn's Avatar
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    mebbe, but I think sister would have been mentioned if that was the case....
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Yet more proof that I'm.. well, pretty much right about everything.

  9. #9
    Lucky 47 crash66's Avatar
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    Grab a 6-pack of beer and hang out with him for a while. Let him know it doesn't matter to you.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKTJrBR22Cw
    Has anyone else noticed that 47 is a magic number?

  10. #10
    L T X B O M P F A N S R apricissimus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alfster View Post
    What makes you think he's not the sister's husband?
    More likely he's his wife's brother. Coming out when you're married is a pretty significant bombshell that I'm assuming the OP would comment on.

  11. #11
    long time visiter Alfster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by apricissimus View Post
    More likely he's his wife's brother. Coming out when you're married is a pretty significant bombshell that I'm assuming the OP would comment on.
    Now I'm curious. Hopefully the OP answers the question. Although I don't think any of us has answered his original question

  12. #12
    S.African in Switzerland The_Guru's Avatar
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    Why would being roomies, bother you ?
    Just because he's gay doesn't mean he can't have platonic male friends, if that's your concern.

    I don't see what the problem is... if anything, you guys should have an even stronger bond after he has shown that he can confide (to extrapolate from your tone) something like that to you.
    If you want to show solidarity, ask if he wants to join you one Saturday night out for a beer or something - and suggest to him that you go to a predominantly gay bar [if he's into the scene]... seriously ...

  13. #13
    somewhere in the ether spoketacular's Avatar
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    What's to deal with?

    As long as he's discreet about his sex life, why would you care? No different than living with a straight guy... you don't want him banging his SO in front of you either.
    You rise, you fall, you down, then you rise again
    What don't kill you make you more strong
    You rise, you fall, you down, then you rise again
    What don't kill you make you more strong

    Trek 2200 / Schwinn Madison / K2 Firebird

  14. #14
    K2ProFlex baby! ilikebikes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FreddyV View Post
    Gay!

    He told me last Saturday. Weird how that just changes so darn much. Well... errrm... It doesn't change a thing. He's still my brother in law, and my best friend. I just got to know him a bit better.
    Does explain why he was so cranky for the past half year. Was quite a load to bear, not being able to get it off your cheast. I'm glad he told me, he brightened up instantly. Feels good to be able to talk to him again and see his smile again. Every time I asked him if something was wrong, he told me he was ok, and was doing fine. Knowing he wasn't I just had to wait and see if things got better.

    When I look at some details in his life, yeah, I could have know he is gay. But obvious? Not at all. He just likes to go shopping, watches America's Next Top Model and didn't pay attention to girls at all.

    Only thing that could potentially bother me is that we've been roomies for over a year. Though, I don't think he already knew back then...

    Still feel a bit weird, anyone have some tips on how to deal with this?
    This is easy, treat him like you would any other part of your family. See? That wasnt very hard.
    You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

  15. #15
    Domestic Domestique UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
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    Why is it that gay guys are the only people who think I'm hot?

  16. #16
    enginerd jeff^d's Avatar
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    When I used to have a health club membership, I'd typically meet gay guys in the sauna. They were always the friendliest, go figure, and I never saw it coming until they got the wrong idea. Too bad they didn't have coed saunas.

  17. #17
    Senior Member
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    To get rid of one simple discussion: He's the wife's brother

  18. #18
    I... Don't care. nekohime's Avatar
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    Well, treat him the same as usual. Nothing should change just because he admitted he's gay. Unless, of course, he wants to be treated differently.
    Wanna join my charity folding bike ride? Sign-up here!
    Quote Originally Posted by AEO View Post
    you should learn to embrace change, and mock it's failings every step of the way :p

  19. #19
    The Improbable Bulk Little Darwin's Avatar
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    I have gay friends, and I treat them the same as straight friends...

    It works out swell.

    I even heard from one of my other friends that one of my gay friends thought that I was cute back in high school.

    And I think I was too, but I would really rather be cute to the straight ladies than the gay guys, but I guess to be cute to one group, there has to be some risk of cross-over.
    Slow Ride Cyclists of NEPA

    People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.
    - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  20. #20
    Lucky 47 crash66's Avatar
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    My cousin just told me that he's.....ummm.....what's the best way to put this......Dutch! I guess the love of cheese, frites and voetbal should have been a clear sign.

    And to think, all those summers I visited him in Meerssen, I figured he was just "my cousin."

    But I'm o.k. with it. At least I think I am.
    Has anyone else noticed that 47 is a magic number?

  21. #21
    S.African in Switzerland The_Guru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Darwin View Post
    I have gay friends, and I treat them the same as straight friends...

    It works out swell.
    Am I the only one who chuckled inside ??
    (it helps that one never really hears "swell" as a colloquial term where I live )

  22. #22
    S.African in Switzerland The_Guru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by crash66 View Post
    My cousin just told me that he's.....ummm.....what's the best way to put this......Dutch! I guess the love of cheese, frites and voetbal should have been a clear sign.

    And to think, all those summers I visited him in Meerssen, I figured he was just "my cousin."

    But I'm o.k. with it. At least I think I am.

  23. #23
    Lucky 47 crash66's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Guru View Post
    Am I the only one who chuckled inside ??
    (it helps that one never really hears "swell" as a colloquial term where I live )
    No, you were definitely not alone.
    Has anyone else noticed that 47 is a magic number?

  24. #24
    Squirrelly Member trsidn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_Guru View Post
    Am I the only one who chuckled inside ??
    (it helps that one never really hears "swell" as a colloquial term where I live )
    If you hear 'fabulous', run.

    KIDDING!!!
    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    Yet more proof that I'm.. well, pretty much right about everything.

  25. #25
    Senior Member Rex G's Avatar
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    I don't understand why there should be a need for tips on how to "deal with" this. If he is your friend, he is your friend. If he is your wife's brother, he is also your family. He has admitted being gay, which makes communication easier, as there is no need for secrets. I see no need for changing anything.

    Are you worried about what others may think? I would try to not worry about it. People will think what they will.
    Have Colt, will travel...

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