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Old 08-05-08, 10:50 AM   #1
nekohime
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I'm tired of your bloody excuses (rant)

Seriously, I'm sick and tired of teh bf making millions of excuses not to ride a bike. My case: bike riding is good exercise, a good way of saving gas for short trips like the ones we make (hello? Taking a car two miles so we can run at a track?!?!?! ), is less hard on the body than other forms of exercise...I could go on and on. His case: he doesn't like bikes, is not good at riding, doesn't have a rideable bike. That's it. I can shoot it down with: you don't have to like bikes to ride them, you will get better the more you ride, and I'll fix your bike, or you can use mine and I'll use teh lil bro's crappy Walmart one if it's too much trouble for you to take the bike off the garage ceiling and get it to me to be fixed.

Seriously. He's the one saying he needs to get more exercise. I'm suggesting a way he can get more exercise that involves me. We even made a deal--if I run, he'll ride a bike. I ran, pain in the jiggly bits ignored even if it bothers me a lot. Is he on the ****ing bike? NO.

This morning, I tried to get him to ride a bike again, and succeeded...for five minutes. He was riding my folder, and I was on my bro's Walmart mtb. After just five minutes and about 2-3 blocks from the house, he stopped and said he was going back for the car. I said "fine, go back, I'll take my bike, you walk teh bro's bike back home, and I'll meet you at the track." He said I was guilt-tripping him (even though I *repeatedly* told him I was NOT), and got on the bike for another 2-3 blocks before stopping completely, complaining about how I was nagging him and hurrying him to get out and he was getting a cramp because he didn't stretch.

WELL, it's his bloody fault for dawdling so much isn't it?! I tried to wake him up at 6am and kept trying 'til almost eight, then he dawdled even more, watching youtube until it was almost getting too hot to run.

Anyway, I just got fed up and said "FINE! DO WHAT YOU WANT!" and rode off to the track. I waited about 30mins for him to come so we could start running, but he didn't come and I was hot and mad and tired, so I just rode back home.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. Just needed to vent.
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you should learn to embrace change, and mock it's failings every step of the way :p
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Old 08-05-08, 10:54 AM   #2
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Just show him this motivational poster:

NSFW!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...tor4220966.jpg
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Old 08-05-08, 10:57 AM   #3
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Old 08-05-08, 10:58 AM   #4
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sounds like he's not going to ride a bike then. getting a cramp after a few minutes? weak excuse. is he the one that wanted to run? or did you just suggest that as an alternative to biking with the goal of getting him moving around?

--edit- motivation indeed. what were you wearing when you went for this bike ride?
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Old 08-05-08, 11:00 AM   #5
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The excuses show that he really doesn't want to ride. I think he's just not interested.
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Old 08-05-08, 11:01 AM   #6
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Date me instead. All problems are fixed. No running, all riding. One time offer...
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Old 08-05-08, 11:01 AM   #7
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sounds like he's not going to ride a bike then. getting a cramp after a few minutes? weak excuse. is he the one that wanted to run? or did you just suggest that as an alternative to biking with the goal of getting him moving around?
He wanted to run. I seriously dislike running because of breast pain (oh the dreaded jiggles!!). But really, DRIVING two miles to run a couple at the track? I suggested biking or walking over instead, but he doesn't like that.
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Old 08-05-08, 11:07 AM   #8
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does he run on a regular basis, or is this something he thought he might be interested in?
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Old 08-05-08, 11:08 AM   #9
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I think you'll get a lot of suggestions like junkyard's there...^

Tell BF you'll find some studmuffin that WILL ride.
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Old 08-05-08, 11:20 AM   #10
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does he run on a regular basis, or is this something he thought he might be interested in?
He used to run at least 5x a week in HS, so yeah, he likes running. I don't think he's done any serious running in at least two years though.
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Old 08-05-08, 11:20 AM   #11
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But really, DRIVING two miles to run a couple at the track? I suggested biking or walking over instead, but he doesn't like that.
tell him you've found a more appropriate means of getting him to the track that better suits his maturity level.
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Old 08-05-08, 11:35 AM   #12
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Im gonna give it to you straight nekohime, sounds like hes just plain lazy He doesnt want to ride, OK, Ill give him that, not everyone likes to ride, but then your waiting for him to show up in the car so you guys can do a couple of laps around the track and he doesnt show? LAZY! He just used your prior "arguement" as an excuse not to show If I were you Id just keep myself in shape and do my own thing, if he wants to be a part of your life he'll get on track sooner or later, if not he'll get the message when all the guys are hitting all over you! Which Im sure already happens ; ) but when they see a great looking girl walking around with a fat dude its gonna happen even more! he'll either start working out or loose you and that'll be a sad thing for both of you, but it WILL NOT be your fault ; )
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Old 08-05-08, 11:49 AM   #13
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Dump him...life is too short to spend time trying to change people who don't want to be changed.
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Old 08-05-08, 11:58 AM   #14
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Dump him...life is too short to spend time trying to change people who don't want to be changed.
Or stop trying to change him. Life's too short to spend it nagging or being nagged.
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Old 08-05-08, 11:59 AM   #15
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BtwÖ.You do know the many secret sisterhood ways to rearrange a manís thinking donít you?
No? Please explain...
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Old 08-05-08, 12:03 PM   #16
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BtwÖ.You do know the many secret sisterhood ways to rearrange a manís thinking donít you?
I'm a girl and i still don't know...
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Old 08-05-08, 12:10 PM   #17
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BtwÖ.You do know the many secret sisterhood ways to rearrange a manís thinking donít you?
Yes, some. The ones I know work well, but not in this case...
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Old 08-05-08, 12:14 PM   #18
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Dump him...life is too short to spend time trying to change people who don't want to be changed.
I don't think this is worth dumping your BF over, especially if you're serious
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Old 08-05-08, 12:18 PM   #19
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Very lame excuses on the bf's part.

That said, there's no rule that says couples need to participate in fitness activities together. It's a great thing if they can/do, but I suspect that's more the exception than the rule. My wife of 23+ years doesn't know how to ride a bike, and she resists all my attempts to get her to try. I've determined not to get irritated with her, since that isn't really the foundation of our relationship.

What direction your relationship goes in from here is up to you. Hopefully, a few weeks from now, you will not have any regrets about what you decided to do.

I wish you the best. You seem like a very determined, and passionate young woman. Hopefully you can work things out to have a great relationship for many years to come.
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Old 08-05-08, 12:19 PM   #20
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Ahahaha...there were a lot of times I wanted to DTMFA, but yeah, the relationship is serious, and we've gotta work through this somehow. I mean, if we worked through *serious issues* that have broken other relationships, getting him on a bike (or not) isn't that much of a biggie.
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Old 08-05-08, 12:21 PM   #21
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Just sayin', seems to me that his maturity level isn't really up there yet. If it were me I'd be a man, and just suck it up instead of whining about it. You can't be the only one making the sacrifices in the relationship Kittyprincess.

By the way, I know you are being super nice by letting him ride the nicer bike, but maybe he would be more comfortable on the bro's Walmart bike. You might ride in front of him and give him a little extra wiggle to watch to distract him too. If he complains about cramps then ...well, the relationships gone stale.
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Old 08-05-08, 12:24 PM   #22
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For those dismissing, "Dump him," it might not be that bad an idea. Here is why: it could be a preview of things to come. Let's face it, it takes a different personality, and point of view on life, to be an avid cyclist. To ride in traffic all the time, or to want to go hit bike paths and lanes regularly takes a certain personality type. What if this is a warning sign of compatibility problems. Sure, biking might be just one interest you two don't share, but what if this is a sign of deeper compatibility problems?
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Old 08-05-08, 12:25 PM   #23
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Sounds like you need a new bf. I'm single, and i bike.
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Old 08-05-08, 12:36 PM   #24
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For those dismissing, "Dump him," it might not be that bad an idea. Here is why: it could be a preview of things to come. Let's face it, it takes a different personality, and point of view on life, to be an avid cyclist. To ride in traffic all the time, or to want to go hit bike paths and lanes regularly takes a certain personality type. What if this is a warning sign of compatibility problems. Sure, biking might be just one interest you two don't share, but what if this is a sign of deeper compatibility problems?
Personality and life-style compatibility issues are serious...I'm avidly car-free, taking public transportation everywhere (don't even have a license), but he drives the 2mi downhill to my house. Drives me absolutely bonkers, it does.

But the important thing is that we're trying to work it out, and it's early enough in the relationship (1.5yrs) that we are still in the trying things out and seeing if we can live together without driving each other to the nuthouse.
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Old 08-05-08, 12:46 PM   #25
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I don't think this is worth dumping your BF over, especially if you're serious
You're right...I think simple castration would do...every gal needs her own eunuch.
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