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  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    I know why spandex shorts on men are considered by some to be "gay". . .

    It's cuz' you aren't wearing big ol' football pads underneath them.

    And sorry, you gotta wear a jock with those bike shorts (and football pads) or you're gonna "those looks!"

    Look at all those football players--tight, tight spandex KNICKERS, for gawd's sake, but they are as all-out macho as any group of guys out there!

    But you bicycle dudes do have a one-up on the football guys; you have MUCH nicer looking legs'n buns.

    IMHO. . .


  2. #2
    Packfodding 3 caloso's Avatar
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    My fave Anthro prof wrote extensively on just this topic:

    Dundes, Alan. “Into the Endzone: A Psychoanalytical Consideration of American Football.” Interpreting Folklore. Ed. A. Dundes. Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 1980.
    Cyclists of the world, unite! You have nothing to lube but your chains!

  3. #3
    Anti-Panty Commando Underwear Nazi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by foehn
    It's cuz' you aren't wearing big ol' football pads underneath them.

    And sorry, you gotta wear a jock with those bike shorts (and football pads) or you're gonna "those looks!"

    Look at all those football players--tight, tight spandex KNICKERS, for gawd's sake, but they are as all-out macho as any group of guys out there!

    But you bicycle dudes do have a one-up on the football guys; you have MUCH nicer looking legs'n buns.

    IMHO. . .

    Wearing lycra bicycle shorts does not make a man gay. Being sexually attracted to other men makes a man gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)

    And if those football jocks are so macho, why are they always slapping each other on the ass and dancing like nancies in the endzone?

    And if people want to give cyclists those looks, let them look! They can see what a real man looks like.

    But putting a jock strap under bike shorts won't make a guy look manly. It'll just make him look dumb! He might as well tattoo "Please give me infected saddle sores" on his forehead.

    Underwear Nazi
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  4. #4
    Center of the Universe ngateguy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Underwear Nazi
    And if people want to give cyclists those looks, let them look! They can see what a real man looks like.
    Here Here! with bike shorts there is no false advertising.You get what you see
    But football why just what are they trying to hide under all those pads

    and guys its about time you realize most athletes wear lycra now days when training and running. Why would you want to wear all that hot and heavy stuff when you are working out?
    Matthew 6

  5. #5
    Every lane is a bike lane Chris L's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by foehn
    It's cuz' you aren't wearing big ol' football pads underneath them.
    Gee, and I thought it's because (around here at least) the majority of people are redneck dickheads. Oh well, bang goes that theory then!

    Quote Originally Posted by foehn
    Look at all those football players--tight, tight spandex KNICKERS, for gawd's sake, but they are as all-out macho as any group of guys out there!
    Oh that's nothing, you should see the gear the surfers around here wear everyday.

    Quote Originally Posted by foehn
    But you bicycle dudes do have a one-up on the football guys; you have MUCH nicer looking legs'n buns.
    Oh well, now if I can just find a way to ride in 50 tonnes of padding and not die of heat exhaustion, I might be able to score! BTW, what are your opinions on men who wear red?
    "I am never going to flirt with idleness again" - Roy Keane
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  6. #6
    Every lane is a bike lane Chris L's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Underwear Nazi
    Wearing lycra bicycle shorts does not make a man gay. Being sexually attracted to other men makes a man gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)
    Kind of reminds me of a reply I'm saving up to use next time I get one of those "poofter" taunts (i.e. next time I wear red).

    "You're staring at my ass, and I'm the one who's gay?"
    "I am never going to flirt with idleness again" - Roy Keane
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  7. #7
    Senior Member
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    Red, RED?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chris L
    BTW, what are your opinions on men who wear red?
    Are you trying to tell me red is one of "those" colors for men in Australia?

    Goodness gracious!

    I think red on a guy is jes' fine, unless his complexion clashes with it! If my husband wears certain shades of red, it makes him look like he's coming down with some disease. . .

    Please, please explain about red down there!

  8. #8
    Every lane is a bike lane Chris L's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by foehn
    Are you trying to tell me red is one of "those" colors for men in Australia?

    Goodness gracious!

    I think red on a guy is jes' fine, unless his complexion clashes with it! If my husband wears certain shades of red, it makes him look like he's coming down with some disease. . .

    Please, please explain about red down there!
    Here in Queensland, which is about 35 years behind the rest of Australia, red is considered one of 'those' colours for men in Australia. I wear it because I happen to like it, but around here it seems a lot of 45 year old teenage rednecks do not. It's their problem, not mine.

    Interestingly enough, I didn't get those sort of reactions when I wore it in Tasmania. I can only concur with my sister's philosophy on this issue. Often people in cooler climates are more civilised.
    "I am never going to flirt with idleness again" - Roy Keane
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  9. #9
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Underwear Nazi
    Wearing lycra bicycle shorts does not make a man gay. Being sexually attracted to other men makes a man gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)

    Yes, you are right, but there are a whole LOT of guys who wouldn't get caught dead in lycra--because they think it makes them look "un-manly"!

    And if those football jocks are so macho, why are they always slapping each other on the ass and dancing like nancies in the endzone?
    I know why I'd be slapping football players asses in the end zone. They feel good!


    And if people want to give cyclists those looks, let them look! They can see what a real man looks like.
    With the correct fit, they certainly CAN!


    But putting a jock strap under bike shorts won't make a guy look manly. It'll just make him look dumb! He might as well tattoo "Please give me infected saddle sores" on his forehead.
    But don't you realize that under that tatoo, in small, fine print it'll say "I'm Bob B!tchin' and I am a real man, cuz I can put up with the pain. . ."


    Underwear Nazi
    You're durn straight we have better legs and buns!
    As for yer legs and buns, I'm a doubting Thomas--let's see em!

  10. #10
    Sumanitu taka owaci LittleBigMan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by foehn
    ...there are a whole LOT of guys who wouldn't get caught dead in lycra--because they think it makes them look "un-manly"!
    It probably would. For some men to slip into lycra shorts would be problematic, at best. The end result would not be pretty.

    That's all I have to say about that.
    No worries

  11. #11
    Devilmaycare Cycling Fool Allister's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by foehn
    Yes, you are right, but there are a whole LOT of guys who wouldn't get caught dead in lycra--because they think it makes them look "un-manly"!
    Any item of clothing that so prominantly displays the bits could hardly be described as 'unmanly'. Quite the opposite in fact - they leave no doubt as to the gender of the wearer.

    As to thinking that bike shorts are 'gay' - it's never occured to me. I always thought the people yelling 'poofter' or '******' on their car windows were advertising rather than abusing. Unfortunately I'm happily married, so their offers don't temp me.
    If we learn from our mistakes, I must be a goddamn genius.

  12. #12
    Victoria's secret MsVicki's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Allister
    As to thinking that bike shorts are 'gay' - it's never occured to me. I always thought the people yelling 'poofter' or '******' on their car windows were advertising rather than abusing. Unfortunately I'm happily married, so their offers don't temp me.
    Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

  13. #13
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Allister
    Any item of clothing that so prominantly displays the bits could hardly be described as 'unmanly'. Quite the opposite in fact - they leave no doubt as to the gender of the wearer.


    As to thinking that bike shorts are 'gay' - it's never occured to me. I always thought the people yelling 'poofter' or '******' on their car windows were advertising rather than abusing. Unfortunately I'm happily married, so their offers don't temp me.
    Maybe the people yelling the names ARE advertising, 'cuz they think the spandex is advertising?

  14. #14
    Devilmaycare Cycling Fool Allister's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by foehn
    Maybe the people yelling the names ARE advertising, 'cuz they think the spandex is advertising?
    You obviously haven't seen me in my bikeshorts. The only advertising I could do would involve my picture with the word 'Before' underneath it.
    If we learn from our mistakes, I must be a goddamn genius.

  15. #15
    Sprockette wabbit's Avatar
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    I don't think it's just the lycra; after all, other athletes wear lycra. It's also shaving legs, and being skinny. Let's face it, being thin and neat- well, you all know the rest. Not that there's anything wrong with that! Also bike shoes go clop clop when you walk, sort of like women's high heels. And cyclists will say things like, "How many fat grams did we burn?" etc. So you have skinny guys with shaved legs in lycra shorts with all their goodies outlined,wearing shoes that clop and worrying about how much fat they burn. SO it's not unlikely that the less enlightened will think they're gay. Not that there's anything wrong with it!
    You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. That's great...if you want to attract vermin.

  16. #16
    Center of the Universe ngateguy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wabbit
    I don't think it's just the lycra; after all, other athletes wear lycra. It's also shaving legs, and being skinny. Let's face it, being thin and neat- well, you all know the rest. Not that there's anything wrong with that! Also bike shoes go clop clop when you walk, sort of like women's high heels. And cyclists will say things like, "How many fat grams did we burn?" etc. So you have skinny guys with shaved legs in lycra shorts with all their goodies outlined,wearing shoes that clop and worrying about how much fat they burn. SO it's not unlikely that the less enlightened will think they're gay. Not that there's anything wrong with it!
    Well I am thin, single never, married no kids, but neat thats a stretch, shave my legs NEVER that is gay (not that there is anything wrong with that.) I don't know how many fat grams I burn but I do tell people I ride so I can eat all the chocolate I want so I guess if you add that all up I could be mistaken for gay. But come on it takes a real man to wear bike shorts in public
    Matthew 6

  17. #17
    Work hard, Play hard forum*rider's Avatar
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    Don't worry guys, my science teacher supports gays so we can all go live with him

  18. #18
    Every lane is a bike lane Chris L's Avatar
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    It might be because I grew up in Werris Creek, but I can remember a time when "gay" actually meant "happy". Kind of puts a whole new perspective on this thread, doesn't it? In fact, last Monday's commute kind of reminds me of that ol' favourite "singing in the rain".
    "I am never going to flirt with idleness again" - Roy Keane
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  19. #19
    Victoria's secret MsVicki's Avatar
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    Men in spandex shorts are yummy.

    Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.

  20. #20
    Devilmaycare Cycling Fool Allister's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MsVicki
    Men in spandex shorts are yummy.

    Before or after a ride?
    If we learn from our mistakes, I must be a goddamn genius.

  21. #21
    newbie newbie georgesnatcher's Avatar
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    Chris, enough with the fashion faux pas. Everyone knows basic black can be used for any occasion.

  22. #22
    Up there! AdrianB's Avatar
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    You can't really stop it showing Merton. Depends a lot on the cut of the shorts, position of your "meat and potatoes" and colour of your shorts. Put it where its comfy and bugger... erm, I mean ignore... the looks. If people want to stare at your crotch that is there problem.
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  23. #23
    We drive on the left. Dutchy's Avatar
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    I've always wondered how ya'll keep the details of yer buldge from showing...
    Just ride in cold weather and don't think about sex

    Down here a lot of sports people shave their legs and wear lycra. Cricket players (Mark Waugh) shave their legs to stop the pad straps pulling out hairs and for the massage. Footy players shave to reduce the grass burn from sliding on grass, they also wear lycra tights in Winter during training.

    CHEERS.

    Mark
    I'd rather be riding.

  24. #24
    Senior Member cyclezealot's Avatar
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    The solution is easy to lessen the public's resistance to cycling shorts...Keep a pair of somewhat longish soccer shorts in your jersey pocket..Put them on while off the bike.
    No one knows the difference.. While on the bike, it is no ones' concern.

  25. #25
    Every lane is a bike lane Chris L's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclezealot
    The solution is easy to lessen the public's resistance to cycling shorts...Keep a pair of somewhat longish soccer shorts in your jersey pocket..Put them on while off the bike.
    Or alternatively, just ignore people's stupid comments and continue to wear the cycling shorts wherever you damn well feel like it.
    "I am never going to flirt with idleness again" - Roy Keane
    "We invite everyone to question the entire culture we take for granted." - Manic Street Preachers.
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