Happy Birthday to me. My wife is breaking my shoes and my daughter is being a teenage pain in the posterior and my mother in law does not like me. Hell, my wife had the dog emasculated so I am all alone in this house of pain. What joy and lovliness fill my days!
HAPPY frigging birthday to me. They left the gifts in the living room and walked out. Yup, just lovely. Why? I went on a two hour bike ride between 6 and 8 and walked in at 9. Never mind that I do this ride every Thursday and sweetness knows this. The bike club members are nicer to me than my own dear family. Did I mention I spent the day at home with my family. Yes, I am living everyones vision of how joyous a birthday should be.
Yes HAPPY BIIRTHDAY to me. My lovely wife is a treasure who likes to spend money we don't have on a regular basis. Remind me again of just how fortunate I am to be married to such a lovely woman. Thank you my dear spouse for being a pluperfect **** and ruining what should be a fairly happy day in my mundane existance. Thank you teenage daughter for taking a cue from your mother and being a real **** as well. Mom in Law you are an altogether different species but at least you have never pretended to be nice to me.
So Happy Birthday to me as I now plan how to get my stuff out of here and leave my sweet wife. She will come home one day and I and my "stuff" will be gone. That I think will be my gift to me.
So happy frigging birthday to me! Happy birthday and best wishes that my ****ty mundane life does not get any worse!