Cycling and bicycle discussion forums. 
   Click here to join our community Log in to access your Control Panel  


Go Back   > >

Foo Off-Topic chit chat with no general subject.

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 08-15-08, 10:26 PM   #1
skinnyone
Dude wheres my guads?
Thread Starter
 
skinnyone's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Guess
Bikes: Not enough
Posts: 2,680
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
A 100+ ways to break a date ot the Date Killer thread.

We have all been there. The date that we wanted to end this very instant. Towards that end here is a little thread that will help you with exuses. Creative to ones that will get you slapped.

Let me kick it off.

" I think you are heavier than me "
skinnyone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-08, 10:27 PM   #2
Siu Blue Wind
Flowers for mom
 
Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Bikes:
Posts: 10,951
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 64 Post(s)
I'm not the type to be rude about it. I say just suddenly grab your phone, say it's a text and you have a home emergency.

Plus anyone would be heavier than a person named "skinnyone"....jus' sayin'.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buddha
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by making View Post
Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
Siu Blue Wind is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-08, 10:30 PM   #3
skinnyone
Dude wheres my guads?
Thread Starter
 
skinnyone's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Guess
Bikes: Not enough
Posts: 2,680
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
I'm not the type to be rude about it. I say just suddenly grab your phone, say it's a text and you have a home emergency.

Plus anyone would be heavier than a person named "skinnyone"....jus' sayin'.
Ok that is cliched though Siu. you gotta make them mad enough to tear your head off so that in actuality they will either ask for the check or...

For eg - " Damn your sister is hot "
skinnyone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-08, 10:31 PM   #4
MillCreek
BF Risk Manager
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Snohomish County, Washington USA
Bikes: Road, mountain and folding
Posts: 894
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
"I have a sudden burning discharge"
MillCreek is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-08, 10:31 PM   #5
Wordbiker
Pwnerer
 
Wordbiker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Pagosa Springs, CO, USA
Bikes: Road, MTB, Cruiser, Chopper, BMX
Posts: 2,907
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
"Oh, I think my wife just called me..."
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
Ski, bike and wish I was gay.
Wordbiker is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-08, 10:31 PM   #6
goldfishin
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Bikes:
Posts: 521
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
tell her you'd rather just wank.
goldfishin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-08, 10:35 PM   #7
Siu Blue Wind
Flowers for mom
 
Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Bikes:
Posts: 10,951
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 64 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by skinnyone View Post
Ok that is cliched though Siu. you gotta make them mad enough to tear your head off so that in actuality they will either ask for the check or...

For eg - " Damn your sister is hot "
But why would you want someone to be hurt?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buddha
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by making View Post
Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
Siu Blue Wind is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-08, 10:36 PM   #8
skinnyone
Dude wheres my guads?
Thread Starter
 
skinnyone's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Guess
Bikes: Not enough
Posts: 2,680
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldfishin View Post
tell her you'd rather just wank.
Winning strategy either way..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
But why would you want someone to be hurt?
You are right. Thats kinda bad
skinnyone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-08, 11:22 PM   #9
CollectiveInk
Senior Member
 
CollectiveInk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Johnson City, TN
Bikes: Specialized Allez Elite / Haro Extreme x6 Expert / Trek 4300
Posts: 216
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Two words "Lemon law" (Barney's rule from 'How I met your mother')
CollectiveInk is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-15-08, 11:29 PM   #10
huhenio
Barbieri Telefonico
 
huhenio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Bikes: Crappy but operational secondhand Motobecane Messenger
Posts: 3,522
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
But why would you want someone to be hurt?
yeah ... your date may assault you with the fork or knife
__________________
Giving Haircuts Over The Phone
huhenio is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-08, 01:43 AM   #11
AEO
Senior Member
 
AEO's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: A Coffin Called Earth. or Toronto, ON
Bikes: Bianchi, Miyata, Dahon, Rossin
Posts: 12,258
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
reminds me of the 'masterdate' skit that conan o'brian had.

my favorite one by far is...

"I uh... gotta go return some videos..."
__________________
Food for thought: if you aren't dead by 2050, you and your entire family will be within a few years from starvation. Now that is a cruel gift to leave for your offspring. ;)
http://sanfrancisco.ibtimes.com/arti...ger-photos.htm
AEO is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-08, 03:02 AM   #12
recumelectric
It's easy being green.
 
recumelectric's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: in the desert
Bikes: Trek Beach Cruiser, Sun X-2 AX (bent)
Posts: 932
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
1) "I forgot to tell you about my ongoing battle with herpes. It's been a true adventure!"

2) "My mother wants to meet you."

3) Just start picking your nose and wipe it on your pants, the table, a passerby...

4) "See that guy over there? I'm sure I could take him. Just give me a reason!"

For girls...

1) "Normally, I carry my strap-on everywhere I go, but my friends thought it might scare you."

2) "You're pretty special. I shaved up to the knee for this date."

3) Just fart and giggle at it.

4) "See that guy over there? I'm sure I could have him. Just give me a reason!"
recumelectric is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-08, 06:31 AM   #13
Moskau
Evil Pony
 
Moskau's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Iceland
Bikes: Trek 6000
Posts: 73
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I didn't actually go through with a date with him but he was all excited planning something without asking me if it was what I wanted (ghost trip, wtf?). So the more he went on the more I decided it was a no-go. So chatting on MSN I did something very cruel and hinted at something having happened the night before, he took the bait and started asking so I told him I had been wanting to sleep with some guy downtown the night before but hadn't been able to.

Haven't heard from him since. Score!

I am normally not that much of a witch...
Moskau is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-08, 06:55 AM   #14
jsharr
You Know!? For Kids!
 
jsharr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
Bikes: '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa
Posts: 6,157
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
As she is speaking to you, look deep into her eyes and then throw up. Make sure to get some on both of you.

Also works when kissing, and if the date is bad enough, this strangely makes it is easire to regurgitate.
__________________
Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
Quote:
Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
jsharr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-08, 06:56 AM   #15
Jerseysbest
J E R S E Y S B E S T
 
Jerseysbest's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: DC
Bikes:
Posts: 1,849
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ugh, I'm a complete wuss, I've never gotten out of bad date, but I've never really had a really really bad one. Maybe the worst is when they continuously talk and talk about themselves with barely a pause; only way I could get out of that would be to get up and walk away.
Jerseysbest is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-08, 07:22 AM   #16
slvoid
2-Cyl, 1/2 HP @ 90 RPM
 
slvoid's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: NYC
Bikes: 04' Specialized Hardrock Sport, 03' Giant OCR2 (SOLD!), 04' Litespeed Firenze, 04' Giant OCR Touring, 07' Specialized Langster Comp
Posts: 15,762
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
"So you charge by the hour? I only need like 10 minutes with you though."
slvoid is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-08, 07:38 AM   #17
skinnyone
Dude wheres my guads?
Thread Starter
 
skinnyone's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Guess
Bikes: Not enough
Posts: 2,680
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I want to show you my LOLcat shrine.
skinnyone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-08, 07:57 AM   #18
huhenio
Barbieri Telefonico
 
huhenio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Bikes: Crappy but operational secondhand Motobecane Messenger
Posts: 3,522
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
"Look at the jugs on that chick ... would you like a treesome with her? (waves at passerby girl)... hey ... HEY!!! OVERHERE !!!!!"

That should kill it right there.
__________________
Giving Haircuts Over The Phone
huhenio is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-08, 08:10 AM   #19
jsharr
You Know!? For Kids!
 
jsharr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
Bikes: '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa
Posts: 6,157
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Get a bowling ball bag and keep a severed head in it. When the date goes bad, just pull out the head and start talking to it about how you like the new head on your date better.
__________________
Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
Quote:
Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
jsharr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-08, 09:33 AM   #20
skinnyone
Dude wheres my guads?
Thread Starter
 
skinnyone's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Guess
Bikes: Not enough
Posts: 2,680
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hope you have a big trunk! because I am gonna put my bike in it.
skinnyone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-08, 10:00 AM   #21
crackerjab
WTF is that smell?
 
crackerjab's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Charlotte, NC
Bikes:
Posts: 449
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Who's your fat friend?
crackerjab is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-08, 10:07 AM   #22
ehidle
T-Shirt Guy
 
ehidle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Lansdale, PA
Bikes: 2005 Fuji Team Issue, 2007 Fuji SL-1
Posts: 464
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
"Yeah, I'm a personal trainer... give me a couple of weeks and I could help you get rid of that belly"
__________________
Yellow + Blue Jerseys!

Get your Cranky T-Shirt!
Men's
and Women's designs available
ehidle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-08, 10:11 AM   #23
jsharr
You Know!? For Kids!
 
jsharr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
Bikes: '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa
Posts: 6,157
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
You could always resort to referring to yourself in the third person.

"You amuse and intrique the skinnyone." "Keep it up and the skinnyone may grant you access to the skinnyone's bed of delight"
__________________
Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
Quote:
Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
jsharr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-08, 11:11 AM   #24
skinnyone
Dude wheres my guads?
Thread Starter
 
skinnyone's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Guess
Bikes: Not enough
Posts: 2,680
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
You could always resort to referring to yourself in the third person.

"You amuse and intrique the skinnyone." "Keep it up and the skinnyone may grant you access to the skinnyone's bed of delight"
I already use that with much success
skinnyone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-16-08, 11:15 AM   #25
Allen
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Bikes:
Posts: 4,751
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Stick your finger in your ear and then smell it.
That alone should do the trick, if not do it again, but this time offer your finger to your date to smell while asking, "Does this smell infected to you?" in your best red neck accent.
Allen is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:40 PM.