That dreaded word that makes the white man run for cover and Rev. Al Sharpton start polishing his a$$-kicking boots has just entered the very confines of my abode!!
HELP, RUN, SEND MONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just walked into our building after dropping our daughter at her pre-school and could hear our landlord upstairs in a heated argument with the guy who lives above us.
A number of pipes had burst in the last couple weeks during the cold spell we've had here on the east coast and the landlord was repairing them as well as trying to figure out why they burst in the first place.
Our landlord, a Chinese/American fellow by the name of Tom was asking our upstairs neighbor, an American of mixed ethnicities (African, Hispanic and good ol' ******* white) were playing the blame game when I stepped through the door and I overheard this little chestnut...
Landlord: Well everyone in the building knows you refuse to pay for heat in the winter so you use tons of plastic sheeting for insulation.
Neighbor: Yeah and that's MY business too! If I don't want to pay the man for his oil I don't have to!
LL: That's fine but because of the very cold winter we've had this year you went one step further and ripped the pipes out of the wall so that you could stuff the insides of the walls with plastic! That's just plain stupid and totally destructive AND made 5 pipes freeze and then burst!!
N: Ok, yeah cool... yeah that's right, so you're saying that because I am a black man I wrecked my apartment! That's predictable! I guess ALL black men want to live in ghetto conditions just like I'm in the 'hood huh?!?! You know what? How would you feel if I said you stunk like fish?? HUH?!?!
LL: You're insane! I never said anything about you, your race and your heritage! You're trying to turn this into something bad instead of taking blame for what you did!
N: Yeah, I'm just a black man, I can't keep myself from wrecking my home!
LL: You're crazy! And by the way, you're only half black!!
N: See?!?!?! You're disrespecting me again! I'm as black as I want to be! It's not up to you man!! Right now I feel 100 percent black!
***BEST LINE OF THE ARGUMENT IMO*****
LL: Well you're not. You're exactly 50 percent black and 50 percent moron!! No more, no less!
N: Well I have to go to work so it looks like we'll have to save this for another time.
LL: Yeah you go to work and I'll stay here repair all the damage you did.
N: Yeah?? Ok, I'll go to work so I can get my paycheck and buy some Colt 45 and some boltcutters and we'll see what kind of work I can REALLY do!
LL: You're a bully but I'm not sweating you.
N: Fish head!
And with that it was over... our neighbor left for work and Tom put his headphones back on to listen to music and start repairing pipes.
Just thought I'd share my morning with everyone here.