Ok, this morning, around about 5:30, the squirrels started their usual bombing of the patio roof deck with acorns a little earlier, and I snuggled up to The Blonde, who was curled up on her side. And since she usually sleeps commando, well, I took the op to to um, squeeze her butt a bit...
TB: (stirring) "Um, no, you're not getting any this morning. I'm tired."
Me: "Oh, I'm not going for that. I just wanted to see if your butt passes inspection."
Me: "You have a perfect butt. I can grasp it easily with one hand. If I need 2 hands, well, that would be gross. Just think of this as a bridge inspection; I've inspected bridges before, and I'm just checking your structural integrity."