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Old 08-22-08, 02:13 AM   #1
cal_gundert05
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Regarding pirates

Does anyone else see the irony of a man with one eye, and therefore reduced depth perception, steering a large ship, sword fighting, and shooting guns?

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Old 08-22-08, 02:17 AM   #2
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A little known fact about pirates is that their beard is closer to cat's whiskers than human hair. As such, they are able to "feel" where everything is, even with just one eye.
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Old 08-22-08, 02:26 AM   #3
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Pirates were the predecessors to Chuck Norris. The lack of eyes and limbs is their way of giving the rest of us a sporting chance.
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Old 08-22-08, 02:27 AM   #4
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A little known fact about pirates is that their beard is closer to cat's whiskers than human hair. As such, they are able to "feel" where everything is, even with just one eye.
Interesting, but why are they frequently missing a hand? From playing with swords while visually impaired, no doubt.
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Old 08-22-08, 03:12 AM   #5
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Interesting, but why are they frequently missing a hand? From playing with swords while drunk on rum, no doubt.
Fixed it for ya.
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Old 08-22-08, 06:07 AM   #6
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with one hook tied behind his back...don't forget that extra set of eyes and hard beak seated on his shoulder.
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Old 08-22-08, 09:44 AM   #7
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The eye patch was not to cover a bad eye. It was to keep the good eye shielded from light during the day. Come night fall, the pirate removes the eye patch to activate his primitive night vision, as that eye was already acclimated to darkness.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 08-22-08, 09:47 AM   #8
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Old 08-22-08, 10:24 AM   #9
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A pirate with a peg leg, hook hand, and an eye patch walks into a bar. He sits down to have a beer and a stranger sitting next to him asks, “So what happened to the leg, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“Argh,” the pirate answers, “a fierce storm tossed me overboard, and a shark bit it off.”

“Oh,” the stranger says. “How about the hand?”

“Argh, I boarded a ship and fought the captain, and he took me hand before I made him walk the plank.”

The stranger then asks about the pirate’s eye. “Argh, a seagull pooped in me eye,” replies the pirate.

“Poop made you lose your eye?” asks the confused stranger.

“No,” the pirate answers, “’twas the first day with me hook.”
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Old 08-22-08, 10:58 AM   #10
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Old 08-22-08, 11:03 AM   #11
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Those mean pirates stole that man's hair!
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Old 08-22-08, 11:03 AM   #12
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Those mean pirates stole that man's hair!
but they gave him a funny t-shirt
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Old 08-22-08, 11:06 AM   #13
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To Catch a Pirate
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Old 08-22-08, 11:13 AM   #14
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Old 08-22-08, 11:14 AM   #15
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OT, but that Sex in the CIty/Matrix spoof was hilarious!
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Old 08-22-08, 12:30 PM   #16
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There seems to be a lot of myth and misunderstanding surrounding pirates. This clears up some things.
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Old 08-22-08, 12:40 PM   #17
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There seems to be a lot of myth and misunderstanding surrounding pirates. This clears up some things.
So does this

http://www.veoh.com/videos/v447134Xwf5wM7p
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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