My friend the stupid (longish)
My friend was born and raised on a VERY rural area where jobs were scarce. Everybody was very very poor and survived with very little. I met those people, they really wanted to work, but there weren't any jobs and being so poor, they could not escape (relocate or whatever). They had no education, no skills... really the bottom of the barrel.
It troubles me to see good people with potential being stuck like that. When I noticed that my friend had a lot of interest in computers I saw the light. "This is my friend's ticket to get a life" I thought. I took him as my padawan and teach him the trade of PC repair. He became surprisingly good at it and started making some money from it. But that was only the beginning. I convinced him that he could go to college and get a computer related degree. It wasn't easy, he was a high school drop-out. He thought his chance of getting an education was already lost.
I made some research and found a high school equivalence program that he could attend. He went and aced it in only 6 months. Then we went college hunting, filling grant applications everywhere till he got accepted. He was afraid of moving 150 miles away from his family but I kept encouraging him "dude, you gonna make lots of friends, you wont be alone, you gonna be OK". I even took him apt hunting and he found one just 2 blocks away from college. He worked hard and finished the BS degree in just 3 years. It was a great success.
There was this couple, friends of my wife and me. We introduced them to my friend and that turn out to be a mistake. My friend started dating this married woman and I was very embarrassed. My friend was still in college at the time and had really nothing to offer to this woman, except some occasional fun. The woman's husband was a VERY wealthy guy, with summer house, yacht, etc.. you get the picture. Later on, the woman divorces the guy... from selling their main house alone she got 750k. She ended up very well you could say. She continued the occasional fun with my friend for years, living together for a month or two on occasions. But nothing permanent ever realized. Her complain: "My friend was not making enough money".
After college, my friend and I talked about the salary situation on our crappy city. Salaries were decent, but the great jobs were always elsewhere. Even I, with a good job and a decent salary, wanted to relocate. We both decided to go and follow the great jobs. He did a lot better than me and ended up in Texas making 100k on the first shot. But six months later, he went back home because "he miss the woman". The woman trows him out for being jobless, he went job hunting again, end up in cali making 85k, few months later, same story... he resigns because he miss the woman. And the same thing keeps happening a few more times. He wants to marry this woman but she does not.
My buddy ends up here in Florida few months ago. It was hard for him to get a good job now, due to his history of quitting everywhere before the year. He's not doing great, but he's doing fine. Just last week, my wife and I helped him go car-shopping. He has wheels now. Now he can move around, try to get a better job, work his way up the ladder. He joined a local rock band (music was always his hobby) and is playing every other weekend on local clubs. Gee, he could have an harem by now if he wants to.
and then... last weekend, the woman shows up, stays with him for the night and tells him to quit everything and go back home (to our crappy home city) to live with her.
My stupid friend accepted the offer and yet again is going to leave everything behind. It is clear that this woman is gonna trow him out in 3 months tops. He will be jobless, car less, homeless and in pretty bad shape. And with the crappy salaries down there it's gonna be a long way till he could save enough money to relocate again to a nicer place. It is, yet a gain, a very bad move.
I've tried to talk him out of this with no success. First of all, this woman won't marry him, ever. She wants something he can not provide. At least not on that city he wont. Maybe if she relocates with him to where the money is... but she will never do that either. She has 3 teenage sons and she will not move her family. She is an older woman, her oldest son is just 10 years younger than my friend. She has all the money she will ever need and no reason at all to relocate. This is just so stupid. Like the /facepalm pics say: words are not enough to express my dismay.
And I know I'm not the best one to talk about this, God knows I have taken a lot of BS in the name of love (reference all my nut-case wife threads at this point). But still, I feel bad for my friend. I hope he finds happiness somehow, someday... same goes to all of you Fosters that are suffering from a broken heart ATM, maybe doing some stupid things too as a result. Hope you find happiness too.