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Old 09-04-08, 10:21 AM   #1
TRACKMAN
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I wish....School Me

A quick internet search uncovers more than 2,500 online degree programs, but not one in cycling.

Until now.
Move over, University of Phoenix. Introducing Merckx University, home of the Fightin' Eddys.

Here at MU, time-crunched working adults such as yourself can become well-rounded, productive, successful cyclists by completing our nationally acclaimed degree program conferring a Bachelor of Riding Education (BORE).

Are you ready to break away from your dead-end, low-gear, Shimano-105 existence? Enroll today!

Here are some of the exciting courses you'll be taking:

Ethics

In this advanced philosophy seminar, students ponder age-old questions, such as: "If a rider gets dropped and no one notices, did he really get dropped?" and "Wheelsucking: Moral imperative or bourgeois facade?" Required reading includes Machiavelli's The Prince, Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil and Nixon's I Am (Still) Not a Crook.

Ancient History

Students travel to a remote archaeological dig (known to our ancestors as a "cellar") to experience firsthand the origins of revered artifacts, like the mysterious Toe Strap of Binda and a pair of down-tube shifting levers said to operate a system of gears using antiquated "friction" technology. Back in the classroom, students explore why experts believe these levers are inscribed with the name of this primitive people's god, SunTour.

Biology 101

Distinguished visiting professors Fuentes and Ferrari teach this popular lab on performance enhancement. Pre-requisite: Ethics.

Applied Mathematics

Students learn how the world works in this rigorous course that asks: If 2 cyclists 3 miles apart are traveling toward each other, one at 22 mph and the other at 15 mph, and one has deep-dish carbon rims and the other has box-section alloy rims, at what point will they meet -- and which one will refuse to acknowledge the other's presence?
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Old 09-04-08, 10:25 AM   #2
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Brilliant!!!!!
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-04-08, 10:30 AM   #3
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loving it! boy did i miss out.
and here I just ended up with a BFAART
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Old 09-04-08, 10:40 AM   #4
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You left out the biking etiquette course(whom and how to yell, how to and not to wheel suck) and class demarcAtions in the domestic road scene (fred, road nazi, bike weenie etc). Required reading the book of pcad also known as "pcaddy is your daddy"
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Old 09-04-08, 10:48 AM   #5
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You left out the biking etiquette course(whom and how to yell, how to and not to wheel suck) and class demarcAtions in the domestic road scene (fred, road nazi, bike weenie etc). Required reading the book of pcad also known as "pcaddy is your daddy"
But I only listed 'some' of the courses and their pre-requisites : Believe me, you get your $$ worth .
; 0)
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Old 09-04-08, 10:59 AM   #6
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But I only listed 'some' of the courses and their pre-requisites : Believe me, you get your $$ worth .
; 0)
I am looking at the guest lectures. No ryanf? I am sorry this degree would be useless. We also need a course called "jsharrs balls and bass" and a free subscription to scwagaholics anonymous. May I also add "what does need have to with it" or how to get that new roadbike primer by the ocp club.
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Old 09-04-08, 11:01 AM   #7
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Do you know if the course is offered at my local college Hammer the Fred University? I would love to be able to get my diploma from dear old HTFU.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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