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  1. #1
    hide not your essence TRACKMAN's Avatar
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    I wish....School Me

    A quick internet search uncovers more than 2,500 online degree programs, but not one in cycling.

    Until now.
    Move over, University of Phoenix. Introducing Merckx University, home of the Fightin' Eddys.

    Here at MU, time-crunched working adults such as yourself can become well-rounded, productive, successful cyclists by completing our nationally acclaimed degree program conferring a Bachelor of Riding Education (BORE).

    Are you ready to break away from your dead-end, low-gear, Shimano-105 existence? Enroll today!

    Here are some of the exciting courses you'll be taking:

    Ethics

    In this advanced philosophy seminar, students ponder age-old questions, such as: "If a rider gets dropped and no one notices, did he really get dropped?" and "Wheelsucking: Moral imperative or bourgeois facade?" Required reading includes Machiavelli's The Prince, Nietzsche's Beyond Good and Evil and Nixon's I Am (Still) Not a Crook.

    Ancient History

    Students travel to a remote archaeological dig (known to our ancestors as a "cellar") to experience firsthand the origins of revered artifacts, like the mysterious Toe Strap of Binda and a pair of down-tube shifting levers said to operate a system of gears using antiquated "friction" technology. Back in the classroom, students explore why experts believe these levers are inscribed with the name of this primitive people's god, SunTour.

    Biology 101

    Distinguished visiting professors Fuentes and Ferrari teach this popular lab on performance enhancement. Pre-requisite: Ethics.

    Applied Mathematics

    Students learn how the world works in this rigorous course that asks: If 2 cyclists 3 miles apart are traveling toward each other, one at 22 mph and the other at 15 mph, and one has deep-dish carbon rims and the other has box-section alloy rims, at what point will they meet -- and which one will refuse to acknowledge the other's presence?
    May you find the joy and peace you long for.
    Life is a journey ... NOT a guided tour.
    .......__O
    .......\<,
    ....( )/ ( )...

  2. #2
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Brilliant!!!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  3. #3
    superArti artifice's Avatar
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    loving it! boy did i miss out.
    and here I just ended up with a BFAART

  4. #4
    Dude wheres my guads? skinnyone's Avatar
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    You left out the biking etiquette course(whom and how to yell, how to and not to wheel suck) and class demarcAtions in the domestic road scene (fred, road nazi, bike weenie etc). Required reading the book of pcad also known as "pcaddy is your daddy"

  5. #5
    hide not your essence TRACKMAN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by skinnyone View Post
    You left out the biking etiquette course(whom and how to yell, how to and not to wheel suck) and class demarcAtions in the domestic road scene (fred, road nazi, bike weenie etc). Required reading the book of pcad also known as "pcaddy is your daddy"
    But I only listed 'some' of the courses and their pre-requisites : Believe me, you get your $$ worth .
    ; 0)
    May you find the joy and peace you long for.
    Life is a journey ... NOT a guided tour.
    .......__O
    .......\<,
    ....( )/ ( )...

  6. #6
    Dude wheres my guads? skinnyone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TRACKMAN View Post
    But I only listed 'some' of the courses and their pre-requisites : Believe me, you get your $$ worth .
    ; 0)
    I am looking at the guest lectures. No ryanf? I am sorry this degree would be useless. We also need a course called "jsharrs balls and bass" and a free subscription to scwagaholics anonymous. May I also add "what does need have to with it" or how to get that new roadbike primer by the ocp club.

  7. #7
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Do you know if the course is offered at my local college Hammer the Fred University? I would love to be able to get my diploma from dear old HTFU.
    Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

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