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Old 09-15-08, 10:43 AM   #1
Suttree
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wedding: to attend or not attend HELP

I have a major wedding attendance dillema.
Normally I really abhor these things and substitute
gifts for attendance but in this case I really feel like
I should go and I kinda want to.

Here's the facts:
The friend is a dear friend but one I haven't been in frequent
touch with for several years. Now we call each other a few times
a year. Wedding is about one day away--could conceivably fly down
the night before, attend, fly back.

The wedding however occurs on a week when I am likely to have a large
permit application due. If this thing gets messed up it could delay construction
on a flood control project. Bad. I don't know fore sure the application will be
due that week but it probably will be a scramble.

I really want to attend and I feel like a heel for letting work make me think
twice. I also really don't feel like anything should get in the way of me
clearing my plate so I can even work on the weekend to deliver on time
if necessary.
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Old 09-15-08, 10:45 AM   #2
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How much notice did he/she give you? Seems like if they gave you sufficient notice you could have rearranged things. So either they didn't care enough to give you sufficient notice, or you subliminally already didn't want to go and didn't work to rearrange things when you had the chance.
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Old 09-15-08, 10:46 AM   #3
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I think you should go! If you're even considering it a bit.. you know you want to!

I usually say there are only a few excuses for interfering with work: illness, death, weddings, and babies (you know, the just born kind). Sounds like you've got time to manage your work, too though-- can you get some work done on the plane? A little while in the hotel?
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Old 09-15-08, 11:04 AM   #4
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Tough choice. I try to deliver my projects (I work as a designer for the State of California so all our projects are tied it federal and state funds) on time. This means coming in and getting it done even if there isn't any OT.

I did have one coworker who went to a wedding before a project was due. He left without telling anyone where his most current set of drawings were (and having multiple folders did not help). I ended up having to clean it up and get it out the door. Pissed me off to no end.

Having said that, can you get additional support from your supervisor to get your project out. I would go to the wedding if possible.
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Old 09-15-08, 02:08 PM   #5
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In most cases I'd say screw work and go but it sounds like your work is important.

If this person is a true friend, they'll understand. I would make sure to let them know and I would send a extra special present and card tho....
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Old 09-15-08, 02:37 PM   #6
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In most cases I'd say screw work and go but it sounds like your work is important.

If this person is a true friend, they'll understand. I would make sure to let them know and I would send a extra special present and card tho....
I'd do this too, and perhaps call too.
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Old 09-15-08, 02:39 PM   #7
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Thanks for the all the input--I am carefully balancing
the urgency of the workload with actually going.
this kind of thing (wedding) hopefully only happens once.
She gave me a few months notice--they had to move the wedding
date forward because of ailing parents.
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Old 09-15-08, 03:03 PM   #8
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I don't think this will make or break your friendship - you obviously care about this and it will come through if you need to explain you can't make it.
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