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Old 09-16-08, 09:26 AM   #1
artifice
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there is just no time.

So, I've mentioned that a guy I train with has been nudging his way into my affections. With my life in upheval, I hardly have time to think of my dating life.... this conversation is probably the most direct he's ever been. Woud YOU start up something new if you might be booking it 1,000 miles away in 4 weeks?

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TrainingPartner: so you are going to spin tomorrow? I think you said that yesterday but i was a little out of it :-\

me: I hope so. I will see though where I am at packing and etc

TrainingPartner: fine.....you just have to go and ruin all my plans in my head

me: what plan in your head

TrainingPartner: well first i was going to see what you were doing for lunch on friday...then take the afternoon off since I'm putting in some nights this week.
Then i was going to see if you wanted to grab dinner after spin (cycling sounds less femmy, I should use that term)...now you aren't sure if you are gonna make it

me: awww sorry i am killing your plans! I am almost sure I will be too big of a stress mess to do dinner after spin tomorrow- I will need to get home and pack

TrainingPartner: fine...... (rolling eyes)

me: sowwy

TrainingPartner: tis ok
i'll just have to find a new work out partner....this really isn't working out for me any more

me: wow I just got dumped! :-o

TrainingPartner: :-P

me: I see I'm only good for one thing

TrainingPartner: well i was trying to extend the friendship outside of running/biking but no....someone has to have this great opportunity...and not pack ahead of time....and be a 'stess mess' (whatever that is)

me: aww bad timing. next week?

TrainingPartner: lol...isn't that what you said when we first brought up the idea of getting lunch together :-P
pretty soon i'm not going to take that excuse

me: I think I get an excuse this week, my life is in major upheaval

TrainingPartner: fine
you're only goign to be around another month or so anyway....i guess I'll just have to put up with your excuses until then

me: :-P
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Old 09-16-08, 09:30 AM   #2
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Just use him as some stress relief. Hot passionate stress relief all night Friday night.

Just make sure he knows...it may not go past that if you move.
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Old 09-16-08, 09:36 AM   #3
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Just use him as some stress relief. Hot passionate stress relief all night Friday night.

Just make sure he knows...it may not go past that if you move.
Dude, she's stalking me this weekend....She's just using this interview thing as a cover...

Whatcha gonna do, arti? You should just tell him you're a commitaphobe and if he wants to buy you dinner, that's cool, but don't expect anything out of you...
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Old 09-16-08, 09:40 AM   #4
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naw, he's already been on the receiving end of my complaining about dudes so he know's my issues.

he pretty much went immediately into the friend zone as the guy i complain about other guys to... but is somehow, amazingly... working his way back out.
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Old 09-16-08, 09:42 AM   #5
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naw, he's already been on the receiving end of my complaining about dudes so he know's my issues.

he pretty much went immediately into the friend zone as the guy i complain about other guys to... but is somehow, amazingly... working his way back out.
That guy is my new hero!
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Old 09-16-08, 09:43 AM   #6
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hit it n quit it

Ahh, so he's about to jump ladders! That's rare. (see "ladder theory")
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Old 09-16-08, 09:44 AM   #7
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my best friend got together with his wife 3 weeks before she moved across the country.

after +/- 6 months of long distancing it, he made the ultimate sacrifice, and left NYC for SF (which lasted about 9 months until both of them smartened up, and moved back to NY).



if nothing else, what's wrong with some good bye sex between two friends?
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Old 09-16-08, 09:44 AM   #8
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+1 hit it and quit it...
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Old 09-16-08, 09:48 AM   #9
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if nothing else, what's wrong with some good bye sex between two friends?
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+1 hit it and quit it...
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hit it n quit it

Ahh, so he's about to jump ladders! That's rare. (see "ladder theory")
omg, this is clearly all dude advice. where are the ladies with opinions? you are just trying to help your team score
hit it and quit it = do not do.
flings in exotic foreign countries =
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Old 09-16-08, 09:50 AM   #10
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omg, this is clearly all dude advice. where are the ladies with opinions? you are just trying to help your team score
hit it and quit it = do not do.
flings in exotic foreign countries =
How about exotic foreign states?

hit it and don't quit it?
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Old 09-16-08, 09:55 AM   #11
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omg, this is clearly all dude advice. where are the ladies with opinions? you are just trying to help your team score
hit it and quit it = do not do.
flings in exotic foreign countries =
Stop treating sex as its so sacred and realize how good it makes you feel. If you like him, a little benefits with your friend is perfectly fine.
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Old 09-16-08, 09:59 AM   #12
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Stop treating sex as its so sacred and realize how good it makes you feel. If you like him, a little benefits with your friend is perfectly fine.
eh, I'm just asexual.

ok, thats ENOUGH info out of me.
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Old 09-16-08, 10:00 AM   #13
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eh, I'm just asexual.

ok, thats ENOUGH info out of me.
that's sad.

Give the poor guy a break.
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Old 09-16-08, 10:02 AM   #14
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Go on a date and see where it leads. Sometimes a long distance relationship works out great, and besides, if you do end up moving here, it won't be for a couple weeks. See where it goes, arti.
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Old 09-16-08, 10:03 AM   #15
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I find it more time saving if I do my stress relief solo.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-16-08, 10:04 AM   #16
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omg, this is clearly all dude advice. where are the ladies with opinions? you are just trying to help your team score
hit it and quit it = do not do.

flings in exotic foreign countries =
you might find this useful.
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Old 09-16-08, 10:06 AM   #17
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I'm a chick. Have some fun - loosen up - think less. It makes life easier, I swear.
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Old 09-16-08, 10:08 AM   #18
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Ok, if you don't like the "hit it and quit it advice", and you're not insane enough to believe a long distance relationship can work, then you're only leading him on. Make your intentions clear; guys construe any sign of friendliness, especially from a single woman, as genuine attraction and interest.
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Old 09-16-08, 12:02 PM   #19
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I met my wife knowing she was going to move 1200 miles away in three months. I moved with her and we got married. Best thing I ever did.

Most stressful, too, but worth it.

Invite him over to help you pack!
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Old 09-16-08, 12:15 PM   #20
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I feel like if you were into him enough you could and would make the time to go out with him. You probably think he's a great guy but you said it yourself..."he went immediately into friendzone." Basically what i think is going on is that he is really into you and you aren't near as much into him. For example you'd rather go home and pack after spinning rather than making an hour of time for dinner with him. I might be totally off base but it seems to me that you just aren't that in to him. If I were him that's what I would take from that conversation with you. However he likes you and is blind to this logic.

As opposed to the other guys' opinions in here on "hit it and quit it" I think that would be a really bad idea if you aren't that into him because he is probably just gonna like you more after that.

Last edited by chrisvu05; 09-16-08 at 12:21 PM.
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Old 09-16-08, 12:17 PM   #21
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The answer can usually be found in a song somewhere.
This quandry immediately brings to mind that old tune with the phrase "Ride sally Ride!"

In other words....hit it n quit it.
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Old 09-16-08, 12:27 PM   #22
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I think this only leads to more confusion, especially if you aren't really looking to make with the sexes or feel the need for companionship. 2 cents
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Old 09-16-08, 12:30 PM   #23
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Ok, if you don't like the "hit it and quit it advice", and you're not insane enough to believe a long distance relationship can work, then you're only leading him on. Make your intentions clear; guys construe any sign of friendliness, especially from a single woman, as genuine attraction and interest.
when harry met sally syndrome?


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I'm a chick. Have some fun - loosen up - think less. It makes life easier, I swear.
you are probably right... i am an over-thinker.


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you might find this useful.
super! I've already printed a copy for my passport wallet.


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The answer can usually be found in a song somewhere.
This quandry immediately brings to mind that old tune with the phrase "Ride sally Ride!"

In other words....hit it n quit it.
I love that that is the song coming to mind for you?


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I feel like if you were into him enough you could and would make the time to go out with him. You probably think he's a great guy but you said it yourself..."he went immediately into friendzone." Basically what i think is going on is that he is really into you and you aren't near as much into him. For example you'd rather go home and pack after spinning rather than making an hour of time for dinner with him. I might be totally off base but it seems to me that you just aren't that in to him. If I were him that's what I would take from that conversation with you. However he likes you and is blind to this logic.

As opposed to the other guys' opinions in here on "hit it and quit it" I think that would be a really bad idea if you aren't that into him because he is probably just gonna like you more after that.
oh, I put everyone in the friend zone. and no, I don't believe in therapy :-P

going home to pack after spin instead of dinner is because I will be flying out EARLY (7amish) thursday morning- I got a few things together last night, tonight I am going to a concert till late.. and I am out of time. maybe I will see if he wants to do dinner instead of spin? is that fair?
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Old 09-16-08, 12:31 PM   #24
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As opposed to the other guys' opinions in here on "hit it and quit it" I think that would be a really bad idea if you aren't that into him because he is probably just gonna like you more after that.
A well placed post coital response like, "Wow, I was expecting so much more out of you." or "I thought it would be bigger." or "Well, that sure was not what I have been fantasizing about." would take care of that liking more thing.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 09-16-08, 12:31 PM   #25
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I can help you get over the non-hit it and quit it problem you have
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