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  1. #1
    superArti artifice's Avatar
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    there is just no time.

    So, I've mentioned that a guy I train with has been nudging his way into my affections. With my life in upheval, I hardly have time to think of my dating life.... this conversation is probably the most direct he's ever been. Woud YOU start up something new if you might be booking it 1,000 miles away in 4 weeks?

    TrainingPartner: so you are going to spin tomorrow? I think you said that yesterday but i was a little out of it :-\

    me: I hope so. I will see though where I am at packing and etc

    TrainingPartner: fine.....you just have to go and ruin all my plans in my head

    me: what plan in your head

    TrainingPartner: well first i was going to see what you were doing for lunch on friday...then take the afternoon off since I'm putting in some nights this week.
    Then i was going to see if you wanted to grab dinner after spin (cycling sounds less femmy, I should use that term)...now you aren't sure if you are gonna make it

    me: awww sorry i am killing your plans! I am almost sure I will be too big of a stress mess to do dinner after spin tomorrow- I will need to get home and pack

    TrainingPartner: fine...... (rolling eyes)

    me: sowwy

    TrainingPartner: tis ok
    i'll just have to find a new work out partner....this really isn't working out for me any more

    me: wow I just got dumped! :-o

    TrainingPartner: :-P

    me: I see I'm only good for one thing

    TrainingPartner: well i was trying to extend the friendship outside of running/biking but no....someone has to have this great opportunity...and not pack ahead of time....and be a 'stess mess' (whatever that is)

    me: aww bad timing. next week?

    TrainingPartner: lol...isn't that what you said when we first brought up the idea of getting lunch together :-P
    pretty soon i'm not going to take that excuse

    me: I think I get an excuse this week, my life is in major upheaval

    TrainingPartner: fine
    you're only goign to be around another month or so anyway....i guess I'll just have to put up with your excuses until then

    me: :-P

  2. #2
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Just use him as some stress relief. Hot passionate stress relief all night Friday night.

    Just make sure he knows...it may not go past that if you move.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  3. #3
    Domestic Domestique UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
    Just use him as some stress relief. Hot passionate stress relief all night Friday night.

    Just make sure he knows...it may not go past that if you move.
    Dude, she's stalking me this weekend....She's just using this interview thing as a cover...

    Whatcha gonna do, arti? You should just tell him you're a commitaphobe and if he wants to buy you dinner, that's cool, but don't expect anything out of you...

  4. #4
    superArti artifice's Avatar
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    naw, he's already been on the receiving end of my complaining about dudes so he know's my issues.

    he pretty much went immediately into the friend zone as the guy i complain about other guys to... but is somehow, amazingly... working his way back out.

  5. #5
    Domestic Domestique UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by artifice View Post
    naw, he's already been on the receiving end of my complaining about dudes so he know's my issues.

    he pretty much went immediately into the friend zone as the guy i complain about other guys to... but is somehow, amazingly... working his way back out.
    That guy is my new hero!

  6. #6
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    hit it n quit it

    Ahh, so he's about to jump ladders! That's rare. (see "ladder theory")

  7. #7
    . botto's Avatar
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    my best friend got together with his wife 3 weeks before she moved across the country.

    after +/- 6 months of long distancing it, he made the ultimate sacrifice, and left NYC for SF (which lasted about 9 months until both of them smartened up, and moved back to NY).



    if nothing else, what's wrong with some good bye sex between two friends?

  8. #8
    Domestic Domestique UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
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    +1 hit it and quit it...

  9. #9
    superArti artifice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by botto View Post
    if nothing else, what's wrong with some good bye sex between two friends?
    Quote Originally Posted by UnsafeAlpine View Post
    +1 hit it and quit it...
    Quote Originally Posted by oakback View Post
    hit it n quit it

    Ahh, so he's about to jump ladders! That's rare. (see "ladder theory")
    omg, this is clearly all dude advice. where are the ladies with opinions? you are just trying to help your team score
    hit it and quit it = do not do.
    flings in exotic foreign countries =

  10. #10
    Domestic Domestique UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by artifice View Post
    omg, this is clearly all dude advice. where are the ladies with opinions? you are just trying to help your team score
    hit it and quit it = do not do.
    flings in exotic foreign countries =
    How about exotic foreign states?

    hit it and don't quit it?

  11. #11
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by artifice View Post
    omg, this is clearly all dude advice. where are the ladies with opinions? you are just trying to help your team score
    hit it and quit it = do not do.
    flings in exotic foreign countries =
    Stop treating sex as its so sacred and realize how good it makes you feel. If you like him, a little benefits with your friend is perfectly fine.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  12. #12
    superArti artifice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
    Stop treating sex as its so sacred and realize how good it makes you feel. If you like him, a little benefits with your friend is perfectly fine.
    eh, I'm just asexual.

    ok, thats ENOUGH info out of me.

  13. #13
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by artifice View Post
    eh, I'm just asexual.

    ok, thats ENOUGH info out of me.
    that's sad.

    Give the poor guy a break.
    Last edited by KingTermite; 09-16-08 at 10:04 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  14. #14
    Domestic Domestique UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
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    Go on a date and see where it leads. Sometimes a long distance relationship works out great, and besides, if you do end up moving here, it won't be for a couple weeks. See where it goes, arti.

  15. #15
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    I find it more time saving if I do my stress relief solo.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  16. #16
    . botto's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by artifice View Post
    omg, this is clearly all dude advice. where are the ladies with opinions? you are just trying to help your team score
    hit it and quit it = do not do.

    flings in exotic foreign countries =
    you might find this useful.

  17. #17
    runnin' down a dream edbikebabe's Avatar
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    I'm a chick. Have some fun - loosen up - think less. It makes life easier, I swear.

  18. #18
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    Ok, if you don't like the "hit it and quit it advice", and you're not insane enough to believe a long distance relationship can work, then you're only leading him on. Make your intentions clear; guys construe any sign of friendliness, especially from a single woman, as genuine attraction and interest.

  19. #19
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    I met my wife knowing she was going to move 1200 miles away in three months. I moved with her and we got married. Best thing I ever did.

    Most stressful, too, but worth it.

    Invite him over to help you pack!

  20. #20
    Legs of Steel chrisvu05's Avatar
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    I feel like if you were into him enough you could and would make the time to go out with him. You probably think he's a great guy but you said it yourself..."he went immediately into friendzone." Basically what i think is going on is that he is really into you and you aren't near as much into him. For example you'd rather go home and pack after spinning rather than making an hour of time for dinner with him. I might be totally off base but it seems to me that you just aren't that in to him. If I were him that's what I would take from that conversation with you. However he likes you and is blind to this logic.

    As opposed to the other guys' opinions in here on "hit it and quit it" I think that would be a really bad idea if you aren't that into him because he is probably just gonna like you more after that.
    Last edited by chrisvu05; 09-16-08 at 12:21 PM.

  21. #21
    Banned. ModoVincere's Avatar
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    The answer can usually be found in a song somewhere.
    This quandry immediately brings to mind that old tune with the phrase "Ride sally Ride!"

    In other words....hit it n quit it.

  22. #22
    Dude wheres my guads? skinnyone's Avatar
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    I think this only leads to more confusion, especially if you aren't really looking to make with the sexes or feel the need for companionship. 2 cents

  23. #23
    superArti artifice's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oakback View Post
    Ok, if you don't like the "hit it and quit it advice", and you're not insane enough to believe a long distance relationship can work, then you're only leading him on. Make your intentions clear; guys construe any sign of friendliness, especially from a single woman, as genuine attraction and interest.
    when harry met sally syndrome?


    Quote Originally Posted by edbikebabe View Post
    I'm a chick. Have some fun - loosen up - think less. It makes life easier, I swear.
    you are probably right... i am an over-thinker.


    Quote Originally Posted by botto View Post
    you might find this useful.
    super! I've already printed a copy for my passport wallet.


    Quote Originally Posted by ModoVincere View Post
    The answer can usually be found in a song somewhere.
    This quandry immediately brings to mind that old tune with the phrase "Ride sally Ride!"

    In other words....hit it n quit it.
    I love that that is the song coming to mind for you?


    Quote Originally Posted by chrisvu05 View Post
    I feel like if you were into him enough you could and would make the time to go out with him. You probably think he's a great guy but you said it yourself..."he went immediately into friendzone." Basically what i think is going on is that he is really into you and you aren't near as much into him. For example you'd rather go home and pack after spinning rather than making an hour of time for dinner with him. I might be totally off base but it seems to me that you just aren't that in to him. If I were him that's what I would take from that conversation with you. However he likes you and is blind to this logic.

    As opposed to the other guys' opinions in here on "hit it and quit it" I think that would be a really bad idea if you aren't that into him because he is probably just gonna like you more after that.
    oh, I put everyone in the friend zone. and no, I don't believe in therapy :-P

    going home to pack after spin instead of dinner is because I will be flying out EARLY (7amish) thursday morning- I got a few things together last night, tonight I am going to a concert till late.. and I am out of time. maybe I will see if he wants to do dinner instead of spin? is that fair?

  24. #24
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chrisvu05 View Post
    As opposed to the other guys' opinions in here on "hit it and quit it" I think that would be a really bad idea if you aren't that into him because he is probably just gonna like you more after that.
    A well placed post coital response like, "Wow, I was expecting so much more out of you." or "I thought it would be bigger." or "Well, that sure was not what I have been fantasizing about." would take care of that liking more thing.
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  25. #25
    Domestic Domestique UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
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    I can help you get over the non-hit it and quit it problem you have

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