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Thread: I'm blind!

  1. #1
    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ efrobert's Avatar
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    I'm blind!

    I remodeling a bathroom for this couple who are in the late fifties. The Mother in law, who is about 85 lives in an apartment in the basement. I had to shut the main water supply off to do some plumbing. I went down and told the old woman I needed to shut the water off for about an hour.
    I went back down an hour later and the old lady is standing there BUTT NAKED, with a yellow shower cap on. I said "OH I'm sorry."
    She said "OH dear. let me put a towel on. I went to take a shower, but no water came out"
    I told her I needed turn the water main back on.

    Yuck, she was all wrinkly and saggy and just wrong. I just can't get that image out of my mind.

  2. #2
    superArti artifice's Avatar
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    thanks your vivid description just put that in my mind.
    i'm sure i'll have to start tomorrow morning off with an 'i had a bad dream' post in "whatcha doin?"

  3. #3
    phony collective progress x136's Avatar
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    "Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. [insert name here]?"

  4. #4
    AEO
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    rofl

    try living with 80yr old grandmas
    Food for thought: if you aren't dead by 2050, you and your entire family will be within a few years from starvation. Now that is a cruel gift to leave for your offspring. ;)
    http://sanfrancisco.ibtimes.com/arti...ger-photos.htm

  5. #5
    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    Did you charge her extra?
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    Quote Originally Posted by colorider View Post
    Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.

  6. #6
    Body By Nintendo Psydotek's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    Did she charge you extra?

    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    A girl once asked me to give her twelve inches and make it hurt. I had to make love to her 3 times and then punch her in the nose.

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    Senior Member bikecrate's Avatar
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    Wrinkles rule!!

  8. #8
    Who farted? Ka_Jun's Avatar
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    Dude...SCORE!

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    Body By Nintendo Psydotek's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ka_Jun View Post
    Dude...SCORE!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRgeP11rPXU

    3:32 'til the end.

    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    A girl once asked me to give her twelve inches and make it hurt. I had to make love to her 3 times and then punch her in the nose.

  10. #10
    Crushing souls Hickeydog's Avatar
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    Thank you for sharing I did not need that
    Quote Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post

    What's frightening is how coherent Hickey was in posting that.

  11. #11
    Who farted? Ka_Jun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psydotek View Post
    Blue haired babes...awesome!

  12. #12
    Fax Transport Specialist black_box's Avatar
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    old people can have such a sick sense of humor, you know she did that on purpose.

  13. #13
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by efrobert View Post
    I remodeling a bathroom for this couple who are in the late fifties. The Mother in law, who is about 85 lives in an apartment in the basement. I had to shut the main water supply off to do some plumbing. I went down and told the old woman I needed to shut the water off for about an hour.
    I went back down an hour later and the old lady is standing there BUTT NAKED, with a yellow shower cap on. I said "OH I'm sorry."
    She said "OH dear. let me put a towel on. I went to take a shower, but no water came out"
    I told her I needed turn the water main back on.

    Yuck, she was all wrinkly and saggy and just wrong. I just can't get that image out of my mind.
    Ya gotta love and admire the way old people just don't care any more. I love and admire that about old people more than all the other cool stuff about them.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  14. #14
    Who farted? Ka_Jun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
    Ya gotta love and admire the way old people just don't care any more. I love and admire that about old people more than all the other cool stuff about them.
    What about that cool mothball smell, even more than that?

  15. #15
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ka_Jun View Post
    What about that cool mothball smell, even more than that?
    You've got no sense of adventure, PeeWee.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  16. #16
    Who farted? Ka_Jun's Avatar
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    Dude, what are you talking about? Navigating around plastic covered furniture & playing w/ crocheted doilies man...whoo, I break out in a cold sweat just thinking about it...

  17. #17
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Kids.....they don't take the time to get to know the cool side. The stories from WWII, the pirate musket in the closet, the show dogs you used to raise, the nude movie you made in 1967, the time you took a trip to Vietnam and got lost in the jungle, the time you got to ride in a tank at the army base, etc......

    All those dopey kids see are plastic covered furniture and crocheted doilies.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  18. #18
    Who farted? Ka_Jun's Avatar
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    j/k...I feel you on the folklore & stories, even if we do hear them a billion times. I'm whittling down my own stories to the four or five I'll keep on continuous repeat when I lose my marbles.

  19. #19
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ka_Jun View Post
    j/k...I feel you on the folklore & stories, even if we do hear them a billion times. I'm whittling down my own stories to the four or five I'll keep on continuous repeat when I lose my marbles.
    I think I've already got my constantly repeated stories, I just don't realize it yet. Every time I start to say some story my girlfriend says, "heard this one".
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  20. #20
    Senior Member garysol1's Avatar
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    Is this where we say with out pics...........?

  21. #21
    Who farted? Ka_Jun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
    I think I've already got my constantly repeated stories, I just don't realize it yet. Every time I start to say some story my girlfriend says, "heard this one".
    "Heard this one" beats, "Oh no, not the 'I almost got killed on the train' story again"...

    M'eh...I always said I wouldn't be one of those old fogeys, until I caught myself recently saying, "Damn kids, they don't make music like they used to...album rock, now that was the good stuff..."

    btw, OP should just "go w/ the flow"...maybe OP could be the cougar boytoy...check that...sabertooth boytoy.

  22. #22
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    Haha! What a coincidence! I see into the neighbors house when I wash dishes (not intentionally--the houses are very close together and their window is just right there and I usually watch the birds and squirrels on the feeder). Now that it's getting dark earlier, the lights come on earlier.

    There is a window directly across from our kitchen that has always been dark. I thought it was a fake window since I had never ever seen a light on. Last night when I was doing dishes, the light flipped on for the first time. The mini blinds were down but not closed. The neighbor lady walked into the room totally topless. I stood there like a deer in headlights. She grabbed something, walked out and turned the light off.

    I like my image way better than yours! I am the opposite of blind, whatever that might be. I told my wife but she didn't get into the kitchen in time. I bet it never happens again.

  23. #23
    Belt drive! vtjim's Avatar
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  24. #24
    Crushing souls Hickeydog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by vtjim View Post
    incorrect.
    Quote Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post

    What's frightening is how coherent Hickey was in posting that.

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