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Old 10-08-08, 10:40 AM   #1
KingTermite 
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BBQ Rules

BBQ RULES

<Sent by an Australian friend of mine>
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity.When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces,and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat .

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
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Old 10-08-08, 10:42 AM   #2
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But, but, we're just exiting BBQ season here in the northern hemisphere...
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Old 10-08-08, 10:44 AM   #3
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No one but me touches the bird before and during the smoking process.

I usually handle the steaks from freezer to table.

If I want good BBQ, I go out to eat.
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Old 10-08-08, 10:44 AM   #4
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Omgwtfbbq!
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Old 10-08-08, 10:44 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
No one but me touches the bird before and during the smoking process.

I usually handle the steaks from freezer to table.

If I want good BBQ, I go out to eat.
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A girl once asked me to give her twelve inches and make it hurt. I had to make love to her 3 times and then punch her in the nose.
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Old 10-08-08, 10:47 AM   #6
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But, but, we're just exiting BBQ season here in the northern hemisphere...
There is no end to BBQ season. I've been known to be at the grillside in a sleet storm. There is no end to the BBQ season.
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Old 10-08-08, 10:47 AM   #7
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MMmmmm.......BBQ

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Old 10-08-08, 10:48 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jsharr View Post

I usually handle the steaks from freezer to table.
Dont tell your dentist about that.
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Old 10-08-08, 10:50 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Psydotek View Post
But, but, we're just exiting BBQ season here in the northern hemisphere...
There is no end to the BBQ season. I will go outside on my porch in rain, snow, and horrendous winds to avoid cooking inside when there's a perfectly good grill just steps away.

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I usually handle the steaks from freezer to table.
Isn't that a hangin' offense in Texas?
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Old 10-08-08, 10:52 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by ModoVincere View Post
There is no end to BBQ season. I've been known to be at the grillside in a sleet storm. There is no end to the BBQ season.
+1

BBQ is good all year round.
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Old 10-08-08, 01:42 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CliftonGK1 View Post
There is no end to the BBQ season. I will go outside on my porch in rain, snow, and horrendous winds to avoid cooking inside when there's a perfectly good grill just steps away.
Those things don't exist in SoCal so we BBQ all year. I grilled chicken last night for dinner.
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Old 10-08-08, 01:47 PM   #12
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I rarely eat meat. Grilled veggies....yummy
Especially corn with butter in the husk and red onion.
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Old 10-08-08, 01:52 PM   #13
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I rarely eat meat. Grilled veggies....yummy
Especially corn with butter in the husk and red onion.
I eat meat, but grill veggies all the time too.
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Old 10-08-08, 01:53 PM   #14
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My wife takes pork shoulder and makes a wicked awesome pulled pork sandwich...oh, so hungry.
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Old 10-08-08, 01:58 PM   #15
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You guys are NOT HELPING my diet!!!!!!!!!!!

Dam you all...
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