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Thread: BBQ Rules

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    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    BBQ Rules

    BBQ RULES

    <Sent by an Australian friend of mine>
    We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity.When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

    Routine...
    (1) The woman buys the food.
    (2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
    (3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces,and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
    (4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.

    Here comes the important part:
    (5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

    More routine...
    (6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
    (7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat .

    Important again:
    (8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

    More routine...
    (9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
    (10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

    And most important of all:
    (11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
    (12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed 'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

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    Body By Nintendo Psydotek's Avatar
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    But, but, we're just exiting BBQ season here in the northern hemisphere...

    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    A girl once asked me to give her twelve inches and make it hurt. I had to make love to her 3 times and then punch her in the nose.

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    You Know!? For Kids! jsharr's Avatar
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    No one but me touches the bird before and during the smoking process.

    I usually handle the steaks from freezer to table.

    If I want good BBQ, I go out to eat.
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    Omgwtfbbq!
    Food for thought: if you aren't dead by 2050, you and your entire family will be within a few years from starvation. Now that is a cruel gift to leave for your offspring. ;)
    http://sanfrancisco.ibtimes.com/arti...ger-photos.htm

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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    No one but me touches the bird before and during the smoking process.

    I usually handle the steaks from freezer to table.

    If I want good BBQ, I go out to eat.

    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    A girl once asked me to give her twelve inches and make it hurt. I had to make love to her 3 times and then punch her in the nose.

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    Banned. ModoVincere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Psydotek View Post
    But, but, we're just exiting BBQ season here in the northern hemisphere...
    There is no end to BBQ season. I've been known to be at the grillside in a sleet storm. There is no end to the BBQ season.

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    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    MMmmmm.......BBQ

    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  8. #8
    Spelling Snob Hobartlemagne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post

    I usually handle the steaks from freezer to table.
    Dont tell your dentist about that.

    The first rule of flats is You don't talk about flats!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Psydotek View Post
    But, but, we're just exiting BBQ season here in the northern hemisphere...
    There is no end to the BBQ season. I will go outside on my porch in rain, snow, and horrendous winds to avoid cooking inside when there's a perfectly good grill just steps away.

    Quote Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
    I usually handle the steaks from freezer to table.
    Isn't that a hangin' offense in Texas?

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    WTF is that smell? crackerjab's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ModoVincere View Post
    There is no end to BBQ season. I've been known to be at the grillside in a sleet storm. There is no end to the BBQ season.
    +1

    BBQ is good all year round.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CliftonGK1 View Post
    There is no end to the BBQ season. I will go outside on my porch in rain, snow, and horrendous winds to avoid cooking inside when there's a perfectly good grill just steps away.
    Those things don't exist in SoCal so we BBQ all year. I grilled chicken last night for dinner.
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    I rarely eat meat. Grilled veggies....yummy
    Especially corn with butter in the husk and red onion.

  13. #13
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DataJunkie View Post
    I rarely eat meat. Grilled veggies....yummy
    Especially corn with butter in the husk and red onion.
    I eat meat, but grill veggies all the time too.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  14. #14
    Who farted? Ka_Jun's Avatar
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    My wife takes pork shoulder and makes a wicked awesome pulled pork sandwich...oh, so hungry.

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    You guys are NOT HELPING my diet!!!!!!!!!!!

    Dam you all...
    I am Fred, hear me slurp my Grande Mocha.

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