Cycling and bicycle discussion forums. 
   Click here to join our community Log in to access your Control Panel  


Go Back   > >

Foo Off-Topic chit chat with no general subject.

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 10-09-08, 08:28 PM   #1
ManBearPig
1/2 man,1/2 bear,1/2 pig
Thread Starter
 
ManBearPig's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Location: .
Bikes: .
Posts: 1,122
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OK, since Foosters like dating questions...

What do you do if you're impressed with a dating prospect in terms of character, educations, shared interests, etc., but the initial chemistry between you is not a homerun. It could go somewhere, but not on the fast-track to romance. Do you act accordingly, move extremely slowly, at the risk of being aloof? Or do you err on the side of protecting them and just say you're not interested?

Maybe the real question is, does chemistry have begin with a clear and unmistakable spark, or is it generated slowly when it's the right person?
__________________
...
ManBearPig is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-08, 08:39 PM   #2
UnsafeAlpine
Domestic Domestique
 
UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Michigan
Bikes: Brand New Old Catamount! Schwinn Homegrown, Specialized FSR, Salsa Vaya, Salsa Chile Con Crosso
Posts: 1,742
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ManBearPig View Post
What do you do if you're impressed with a dating prospect in terms of character, educations, shared interests, etc., but the initial chemistry between you is not a homerun. It could go somewhere, but not on the fast-track to romance. Do you act accordingly, move extremely slowly, at the risk of being aloof? Or do you err on the side of protecting them and just say you're not interested?

Maybe the real question is, does chemistry have begin with a clear and unmistakable spark, or is it generated slowly when it's the right person?
I'm at the same point as you right now. I'm just gonna see where it leads, and if it's only friendship, that's great! But if it's something more, that's fine, too.
UnsafeAlpine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-08, 08:40 PM   #3
wolfpack 
Rawwrrrrrrrrr!
 
wolfpack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Clayton, NC
Bikes: 2009 Specialized Ruby Sworks SL w/SRAM Red; 2006 Fuji Team RC; 2008 Felt F1x; 1980's Lotus Excelle; Mangusta FG/SS; Rossin (yet to be built up)
Posts: 2,728
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
lol. looks like all 3 of us are at the same point...and i flew to NY to meet my guy...
__________________
wolfpackcycles
skiffrun: Enjoy the ride. Ride for the enjoyment.
wolfpack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-08, 08:40 PM   #4
skinnyone
Dude wheres my guads?
 
skinnyone's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Guess
Bikes: Not enough
Posts: 2,680
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
It can happen, the slow gradual build up. The only risk is being careful and not getting into the friends zone.
skinnyone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-08, 08:44 PM   #5
Siu Blue Wind
Flowers for mom
 
Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Bikes:
Posts: 10,949
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 57 Post(s)
What's wrong with being just friends right now? If it happens, it happens.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buddha
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by making View Post
Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
Siu Blue Wind is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-08, 08:44 PM   #6
CbadRider
Administrator
 
CbadRider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: On the bridge with Picard
Bikes: Specialized Allez, Specialized Sirrus
Posts: 5,963
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by skinnyone View Post
It can happen, the slow gradual build up. The only risk is being careful and not getting into the friends zone.
All of my long term relationships were with someone I knew for a while first. I'm generally not an instant chemistry type of person; for me it takes a while to develop.

And by a while I mean a couple of weeks. Hey Skinnyone, are you busy tonight?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xerum 525 View Post
Now get on your cheap bike and give me a double century. You walking can of Crisco!!

Forum Guidelines *click here*
CbadRider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-08, 08:46 PM   #7
efrobert
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
 
efrobert's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Somewhere in Colorado.
Bikes:
Posts: 255
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My god. You people here on foo over analyze dating to death.

Go out for a few drinks and hit the sheets! Stop thinking soo much.
efrobert is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-08, 08:48 PM   #8
wolfpack 
Rawwrrrrrrrrr!
 
wolfpack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Clayton, NC
Bikes: 2009 Specialized Ruby Sworks SL w/SRAM Red; 2006 Fuji Team RC; 2008 Felt F1x; 1980's Lotus Excelle; Mangusta FG/SS; Rossin (yet to be built up)
Posts: 2,728
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i likes yo' style efrobert!!
__________________
wolfpackcycles
skiffrun: Enjoy the ride. Ride for the enjoyment.
wolfpack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-08, 08:52 PM   #9
Siu Blue Wind
Flowers for mom
 
Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Bikes:
Posts: 10,949
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 57 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by efrobert View Post
My god. You people here on foo over analyze dating to death.

Go out for a few drinks and hit the sheets! Stop thinking soo much.
Says the guy with ZZZZZZZZZZZ under his name....
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buddha
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by making View Post
Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
Siu Blue Wind is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-08, 08:52 PM   #10
aprilm
Bring May Flowers
 
aprilm's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Soon to be South Carolina!
Bikes: '10 Kuota Kebel
Posts: 961
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by ManBearPig View Post
Do you act accordingly, move extremely slowly, at the risk of being aloof? Or do you err on the side of protecting them and just say you're not interested?
That one. It's not fair to wait for a spark (or whatever it is that you're waiting for)... in my experience, if the spark will exist at all, it will be almost immediate. Don't wait. Move on.

Edit: oftentimes, with someone I've know a while, I confuse "chemistry" with "comfort/familiarity". So I normally don't do the "friends first" stuff.
aprilm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-08, 08:57 PM   #11
efrobert
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
 
efrobert's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Somewhere in Colorado.
Bikes:
Posts: 255
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
Says the guy with ZZZZZZZZZZZ under his name....
efrobert is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-08, 09:12 PM   #12
DannoXYZ 
Senior Member
 
DannoXYZ's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Saratoga, CA
Bikes:
Posts: 11,600
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
listen to the women, aprilm's got it right on. Be pro-active and intentional in your action and being. Don't pvssyfoot around and "hope", take control of the situation!!! As mentioned, if you're doing the "friends/comfort/familiarity" thing, that is ALL that will happen in like 99.9999% of cases; it's a death-blow for romance and anything more (I could write volumes on 'why', don't bother, move on if you're wanting more than 'just friends').

As for a spark, what's wrong with bringing a gallon of gasoline and a lighter to the party, eh??? Live it up!!!*

----------------------------------------
* BTW - this part can be figurative or literally. I met my girlfriend of 4-years in school while I was tossing molotov cocktails and spray-can bombs into dumpers during the crazy Isla Vista Halloween riots.

Last edited by DannoXYZ; 10-09-08 at 09:25 PM.
DannoXYZ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-08, 09:21 PM   #13
skinnyone
Dude wheres my guads?
 
skinnyone's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Guess
Bikes: Not enough
Posts: 2,680
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by CbadRider View Post
All of my long term relationships were with someone I knew for a while first. I'm generally not an instant chemistry type of person; for me it takes a while to develop.

And by a while I mean a couple of weeks. Hey Skinnyone, are you busy tonight?
I am actually busy.. Doing whatever you're doin.
skinnyone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-08, 09:23 PM   #14
Tude 
Blasted Weeds
 
Tude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Rochester, NY
Bikes: Trek 1200C, Specialized Rockhopper, Giant Yukon FX, Giant Acapulco
Posts: 1,182
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by efrobert View Post
My god. You people here on foo over analyze dating to death.

Go out for a few drinks and hit the sheets! Stop thinking soo much.
Dooooood - I'm still working on the dating site funkeh e-mails to one another and reviewing profiles if they are there ....

and if I respond - then that's what is the next request - WHEN CAN WE MEET!



Hmmm - one e-mail response and WHEN!!!!!! Nooooooo!
__________________
Tude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-08, 09:50 PM   #15
efrobert
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
 
efrobert's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Somewhere in Colorado.
Bikes:
Posts: 255
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tude View Post
Dooooood - I'm still working on the dating site funkeh e-mails to one another and reviewing profiles if they are there ....

and if I respond - then that's what is the next request - WHEN CAN WE MEET!



Hmmm - one e-mail response and WHEN!!!!!! Nooooooo!
That's interesting. We should meet up and talk about that some more. Shoot me an email and let me know when you're free.




efrobert is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-08, 10:12 PM   #16
artifice
superArti
 
artifice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Minnersoter
Bikes: 2007 Fuji Professional 2.0, 2009 GTw Avalanche 2.0
Posts: 1,056
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I chuck em into the friend category. Usually, its a one-way street, but occasionally someone pulls a dangerous move and drives through the wrong way.
__________________
i woke up one morning and i stepped out of bed | had to get a bike, had to paint it red
Of all the treasures I have, its the memories that are the most precious.
artifice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-09-08, 10:17 PM   #17
UnsafeAlpine
Domestic Domestique
 
UnsafeAlpine's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Michigan
Bikes: Brand New Old Catamount! Schwinn Homegrown, Specialized FSR, Salsa Vaya, Salsa Chile Con Crosso
Posts: 1,742
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by artifice View Post
I chuck em into the friend category. Usually, its a one-way street, but occasionally someone pulls a dangerous move and drives through the wrong way.
crap. I'm pretty well screwed, huh...
UnsafeAlpine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-08, 01:33 AM   #18
SingingSabre 
BF's Level 12 Wizard
 
SingingSabre's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Tucson, AZ
Bikes: Diamondback Sorrento turned Xtracycle commuter
Posts: 1,425
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
What's wrong with being just friends right now? If it happens, it happens.
+1

I've known my gf for two years...been dating almost two months now.
__________________
Shameless plug (my sites):
Work
Photography
Vanity
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bklyn
Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.
SingingSabre is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-08, 05:22 AM   #19
pgoat
Batw Griekgriek
 
pgoat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: NYC - for the moment...
Bikes: 1985 Trek 500, 1986 Trek 500 Tri Series, 2002 Orbea Team Euskaltel, 2005 Cannondale R1000
Posts: 2,899
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by siu blue wind View Post
what's wrong with being just friends right now? If it happens, it happens.
+1
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
People whose sig line does not include a jsharr quote annoy me.
pgoat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-08, 05:36 AM   #20
ehidle
T-Shirt Guy
 
ehidle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Lansdale, PA
Bikes: 2005 Fuji Team Issue, 2007 Fuji SL-1
Posts: 464
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I highly recommend following my philosophy of simply not dating. It isn't worth the hassle.
__________________
Yellow + Blue Jerseys!

Get your Cranky T-Shirt!
Men's
and Women's designs available
ehidle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-08, 05:50 AM   #21
wolfpack 
Rawwrrrrrrrrr!
 
wolfpack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Clayton, NC
Bikes: 2009 Specialized Ruby Sworks SL w/SRAM Red; 2006 Fuji Team RC; 2008 Felt F1x; 1980's Lotus Excelle; Mangusta FG/SS; Rossin (yet to be built up)
Posts: 2,728
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
What's wrong with being just friends right now? If it happens, it happens.
so, does anyone think that meeting someone and maybe the sparkys are quite flying but you are still interested in getting to know the person is not the street to go down?? who's to say that once you get to know them a little better that the sparkys won't be there?? why should you throw them to the curb just because the sparkys don't immediately happen when you first meet them????

just askin' cause i've been out of the dating scene far too long and have no idea......
__________________
wolfpackcycles
skiffrun: Enjoy the ride. Ride for the enjoyment.
wolfpack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-08, 05:52 AM   #22
TitaniuMerlin
Boffin
 
TitaniuMerlin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Windermere (Orlando), Florida
Bikes: 2003 LeMond Alpe d'Huez, 2000 Merlin Road Titanium (Carbon Fiber Front Fork)
Posts: 168
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So far I am 0 - 2 on those dating site emails. No response. Of course, I'm never sure what to say in a first email to catch their attention. Sadly, I think that obligatory picture that is required sends them running.
TitaniuMerlin is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-08, 06:16 AM   #23
wolfpack 
Rawwrrrrrrrrr!
 
wolfpack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Clayton, NC
Bikes: 2009 Specialized Ruby Sworks SL w/SRAM Red; 2006 Fuji Team RC; 2008 Felt F1x; 1980's Lotus Excelle; Mangusta FG/SS; Rossin (yet to be built up)
Posts: 2,728
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
dunno about the dating site place...i don't really know what to say either in an initial email and i'm also not sure as to whether i should be emailing the guys or waiting on them to email me...i tell ya what did work for nyguy though...he just wanted to ask a silly question and didnt ask until i said sure. he asked, i answered and we hit it off then and have just gone from there...just working on a friendship right now because, despite what some may say, i think having a good friend is important and if that friendship develops into something else, then great..if not, well, at least you have a good friend from it....maybe that's the wrong attitude to have, i don't know.

i think i've got a good pic up, the profile is pretty good - it represents who i am, what i'm looking for, but not much luck so far; except for nyguy...and a couple of guys who i seem to talk to regularly but they are 1) too far away at this time, 2) at least 10yrs younger, and 3) maybe they're just friends right now...but then that 3rd one falls right into my theory that you should be friends first.....who the hell knows???
__________________
wolfpackcycles
skiffrun: Enjoy the ride. Ride for the enjoyment.
wolfpack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-08, 06:19 AM   #24
Siu Blue Wind
Flowers for mom
 
Siu Blue Wind's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Bikes:
Posts: 10,949
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 57 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by wolfpack View Post
so, does anyone think that meeting someone and maybe the sparkys are quite flying but you are still interested in getting to know the person is not the street to go down?? who's to say that once you get to know them a little better that the sparkys won't be there?? why should you throw them to the curb just because the sparkys don't immediately happen when you first meet them????

just askin' cause i've been out of the dating scene far too long and have no idea......
I'm not saying to give up on it or not try. I'm just the type the believes a true friendship is the strong base for a romantic relationship. And that with that type of relationship is a very deep trust - trust with feelings, trust with emotions, trust with that ability to help each other grow without judgment. Trust with the comfort of each other. Oh the sparks will be there, of course - and even more so with a true friendship, true love for that person. And then the romantic relationship will come naturally.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buddha
We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by making View Post
Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
Siu Blue Wind is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-08, 06:27 AM   #25
wolfpack 
Rawwrrrrrrrrr!
 
wolfpack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Clayton, NC
Bikes: 2009 Specialized Ruby Sworks SL w/SRAM Red; 2006 Fuji Team RC; 2008 Felt F1x; 1980's Lotus Excelle; Mangusta FG/SS; Rossin (yet to be built up)
Posts: 2,728
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
I'm not saying to give up on it or not try. I'm just the type the believes a true friendship is the strong base for a romantic relationship. And that with that type of relationship is a very deep trust - trust with feelings, trust with emotions, trust with that ability to help each other grow without judgment. Trust with the comfort of each other. Oh the sparks will be there, of course - and even more so with a true friendship, true love for that person. And then the romantic relationship will come naturally.
+10000000000000000000000000000000000 that's exactly how i feel. and, fortunately, that's the way nyguy feels too. we've agreed to give it a try. i just think, as you do, that to have a strong romantic relationship, one needs a good solid foundation - and that foundation being a strong, true friendship.
__________________
wolfpackcycles
skiffrun: Enjoy the ride. Ride for the enjoyment.
wolfpack is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:37 PM.