Cycling and bicycle discussion forums. 
   Click here to join our community Log in to access your Control Panel  


Go Back   > >

Foo Off-Topic chit chat with no general subject.

User Tag List

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Old 10-27-08, 01:10 AM   #1
crackerjab
WTF is that smell?
Thread Starter
 
crackerjab's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Charlotte, NC
Bikes:
Posts: 449
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Speedbumps in life...

As some of you know I've posted on here about issues with my wife having some surgeries, being in the hospital for and extended period of time, etc... I'm having some issues currently that I would like to query some outside opinions. How do you deal with the physical and emotional disconnection after a serious surgery and recovery period of a SO/Wife? I crave for normalcy and can't get it right now. I want my wife in her full capacity and can't have it right now and it's giving me a complex.

Discuss.
crackerjab is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-08, 02:29 AM   #2
substructure
RustyTainte
 
substructure's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: 28012
Bikes: zilch
Posts: 12,343
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think our idea of 'normalcy' is skewed. Life is full of speedbumps. It's up to us to flatten them out of just roll right over them.

I've had some serious speedbumps with my wife. Stuff I don't think I've really spoken of here. We are still dealing with the after effects. Through it we learned to lean on God. We learned to lean on each other. We learned to lean on our family and friends. We grew closer, matured, and came out stronger.

I hope, for you, everything turns out for the better.
substructure is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-08, 05:38 AM   #3
jsharr
You Know!? For Kids!
 
jsharr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Just NW of Richardson Bike Mart
Bikes: '05 Trek 1200 / '90 Trek 8000 / '? Falcon Europa
Posts: 6,157
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Not to say you are like me, and hopefully you are not, but, remember that your wife did not choose to become ill. It happened. Look within for happiness, satisfaction, etc.

Substructure had an excellent response. If you are a man of faith, turn to that faith. Let your pastor and other men in the church give you their strenght and support.

Best of luck.
__________________
Are you a registered member? Why not? Click here to register. It's free and only takes 27 seconds! Help out the forums, abide by our community guidelines.
Quote:
Originally Posted by colorider View Post
Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
jsharr is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-08, 06:54 AM   #4
ilikebikes
K2ProFlex baby!
 
ilikebikes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: My response would have been something along the lines of: "Does your bike have computer controlled suspension? Then shut your piehole, this baby is from the future!"
Bikes: to many to list
Posts: 6,087
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by substructure View Post
I think our idea of 'normalcy' is skewed. Life is full of speedbumps. It's up to us to flatten them out of just roll right over them.

I've had some serious speedbumps with my wife. Stuff I don't think I've really spoken of here. We are still dealing with the after effects. Through it we learned to lean on God. We learned to lean on each other. We learned to lean on our family and friends. We grew closer, matured, and came out stronger.

I hope, for you, everything turns out for the better.
I agree with 99% of subs GREAT advise I dont do the god thing, not knocking it, I just dont do it, but everything else is true for me too.
Siu Blue Wind knows about my "speed bumps" (I consider her my best interweb friend, but she doesnt know)
__________________
You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve
ilikebikes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-08, 07:39 AM   #5
timmyquest
Banned.
 
timmyquest's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Woodstock
Bikes:
Posts: 5,761
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by substructure View Post
I think our idea of 'normalcy' is skewed. Life is full of speedbumps. It's up to us to flatten them out of just roll right over them.
I've learned that ones perception of "normal" is essentially the view of other people's lives minus all of their speed bumps and the lust for this bump-less life--that never exists in the first place.
timmyquest is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-08, 08:48 AM   #6
CbadRider
Administrator
 
CbadRider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: On the bridge with Picard
Bikes: Specialized Allez, Specialized Sirrus
Posts: 5,963
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
She's probably having similar feelings about wanting life to get back to normal. And maybe some guilt about getting sick and putting a burden on you to take care of her. You might just try talking to her and seeing what her feelings are.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Xerum 525 View Post
Now get on your cheap bike and give me a double century. You walking can of Crisco!!

Forum Guidelines *click here*
CbadRider is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-08, 08:53 AM   #7
trsidn 
Soggy Member
 
trsidn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Putting the 'fun' in dysfunctional
Bikes: Cannondale CAAD8, Trek SU200
Posts: 283
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 77 Post(s)
I agree w/jsharr on this one. You think your life is abnormal, how do you think SHE feels?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElJamoquio View Post
.... Other than being completely wrong, you're correct.
trsidn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-08, 08:55 AM   #8
crackerjab
WTF is that smell?
Thread Starter
 
crackerjab's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Charlotte, NC
Bikes:
Posts: 449
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by CbadRider View Post
She's probably having similar feelings about wanting life to get back to normal. And maybe some guilt about getting sick and putting a burden on you to take care of her. You might just try talking to her and seeing what her feelings are.
We've talked about it, and she feels that way. And of course I'm there by her side no matter what. I also see the big picture and she does too. I just wish it wasn't so difficult. I don't like having to lean on people for support. I'm religious but my faith has been skewed after all of this. I'm angry at God for the moment and probably will be until the "big picture" makes it's circle.
crackerjab is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-08, 09:02 AM   #9
substructure
RustyTainte
 
substructure's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: 28012
Bikes: zilch
Posts: 12,343
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by crackerjab View Post
We've talked about it, and she feels that way. And of course I'm there by her side no matter what. I also see the big picture and she does too. I just wish it wasn't so difficult. I don't like having to lean on people for support. I'm religious but my faith has been skewed after all of this. I'm angry at God for the moment and probably will be until the "big picture" makes it's circle.
From one who knows where you're coming from. I've been struggling with God A LOT lately. My faith has never been rock solid. But I do know that God only allows us to go through what He knows we can handle - and yet draw us closer to Him. Instead of being mad, ask God if He will show you the right way to deal with this and gain strength. We're vessels. We are not only here to be filled, but to be used (poured out). It sounds like you wife needs you now more than ever. But it's up to you to allow yourself to be used - the right way. I'll be praying for you, bro. Hang in there.
substructure is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-08, 09:06 AM   #10
MrCrassic 
Senior Member
 
MrCrassic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Bikes: 2008 Giant OCR1 (with panda bear on the back!)
Posts: 3,650
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by crackerjab View Post
As some of you know I've posted on here about issues with my wife having some surgeries, being in the hospital for and extended period of time, etc... I'm having some issues currently that I would like to query some outside opinions. How do you deal with the physical and emotional disconnection after a serious surgery and recovery period of a SO/Wife? I crave for normalcy and can't get it right now. I want my wife in her full capacity and can't have it right now and it's giving me a complex.

Discuss.
We all want life to be in our "happy states." With something as serious as that, you probably won't feel settled until everything finalizes itself (for the better or worse, hopefully for the better).

I've been there, but for a non-related, but equally petrifying, issue. It sucks.
__________________
Ride more.

Code:
$ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
 $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces
MrCrassic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-08, 09:56 AM   #11
USAZorro
Seor Member
 
USAZorro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Florence, KY
Bikes: 1954 Hetchins M.O., 1959 Viking Severn Valley, 1970 Raleigh Pro, 1972 Fuji "The Finest", 1974 Raleigh Superbe&Comp, 1976 Raleigh Team Pro, 1996 Giant Iguana, 2000 Bob Jackson Arrowhead
Posts: 14,419
Mentioned: 4 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 21 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by crackerjab View Post
We've talked about it, and she feels that way. And of course I'm there by her side no matter what. I also see the big picture and she does too. I just wish it wasn't so difficult. I don't like having to lean on people for support. I'm religious but my faith has been skewed after all of this. I'm angry at God for the moment and probably will be until the "big picture" makes it's circle.
That's a way of looking at things that I find a little odd. Your conception of God seems different than mine. I don't want this to get into a big religious debate and have this moved to P & R, but suffice it to say that there are plenty of examples where adversity has befallen virtuous people. How we respond to such things is sort of like us getting the lab portion of our grade.
__________________
In search of what to search for.
USAZorro is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-08, 02:30 PM   #12
pgoat
Batw Griekgriek
 
pgoat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: NYC - for the moment...
Bikes: 1985 Trek 500, 1986 Trek 500 Tri Series, 2002 Orbea Team Euskaltel, 2005 Cannondale R1000
Posts: 2,899
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 9 Post(s)
Sorry to hear you are in this tough place right now. I wish you strength and patience to get you through this to happier days soon.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by jsharr View Post
People whose sig line does not include a jsharr quote annoy me.
pgoat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-27-08, 02:34 PM   #13
artifice
superArti
 
artifice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Minnersoter
Bikes: 2007 Fuji Professional 2.0, 2009 GTw Avalanche 2.0
Posts: 1,056
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Your definition of normal changes. We are creatures of habit.
Like my mom has said since my father's passing, "I need to adjust to different"... and you will in time, and that will become your new "normal".

Best wishes to you & your family.
__________________
i woke up one morning and i stepped out of bed | had to get a bike, had to paint it red
Of all the treasures I have, its the memories that are the most precious.
artifice is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:53 PM.