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Old 10-29-08, 03:04 PM   #1
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True Tales of HTFU

One of the pimpinest stories in American history.

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Originally Posted by Wikipedia entry:Hugh Glass
The Wrestle

Near the forks of the Grand River in present-day Perkins County, in August 1823, while scouting alone for game for the expedition's larder, Glass surprised a Grizzly mother bear with her two cubs. Before he could fire his rifle, the bear charged, picked him up, and threw him to the ground. Glass got up, grappled for his knife, and fought back, stabbing the animal repeatedly as the grizzly raked him time and again with her claws.

Glass managed to kill the bear with help from his trapping partners, Fitzgerald and Bridger, but was left badly mauled and unable to walk. When Glass lost consciousness, Henry became convinced the man would not survive his injuries.

Henry asked for two volunteers to stay with Glass until he died, and then bury him. Bridger (then 17 years old) and Fitzgerald stepped forward, and as the rest of the party moved on, began digging his grave. Later claiming that they were interrupted in the task by an attack by "Arikaree" Indians, the pair grabbed Glass's rifle, knife, and other equipment, and took flight.

Bridger and Fitzgerald reported to Henry -- wrongly it turned out -- that Glass had died.

[edit] The Odyssey to Fort Kiowa

Despite his injuries, Glass regained consciousness. He did so only to find himself abandoned, without weapons or equipment, suffering from a broken leg, the cuts on his back exposing bare ribs, and all his wounds festering. Glass lay mutilated and lame more than 200 mi (320 km) from the nearest settlement at Fort Kiowa on the Missouri.

In one of the more remarkable treks known to history, Glass set his own leg, wrapped himself in the bear hide his companions had placed over him as a shroud, and began crawling. To prevent gangrene, Glass laid his wounded back on a rotting log and let the maggots eat the dead flesh.

Deciding that following the Grand River would be too dangerous because of hostile Native Americans, Glass crawled overland south toward the Cheyenne River. It took him six weeks to reach it.

Glass survived mostly on wild berries and roots. On one occasion he was able to drive two wolves from a downed bison calf, and feast on the meat. Reaching the Cheyenne, he fashioned a crude raft and floated down the river, navigating using the prominent Thunder Butte landmark. Aided by friendly natives who sewed a bear hide to his back to cover the exposed wounds, Glass eventually reached the safety of Fort Kiowa.

After a long recuperation, Glass set out to track down and avenge himself against Bridger and Fitzgerald. When he found Bridger, on the Yellowstone near the mouth of the Bighorn River, Glass spared him, purportedly because of Bridger's youth. When he found Fitzgerald, and discovered that Fitzgerald had joined the United States Army, Glass purportedly restrained himself because the consequence of killing a U.S. soldier was death. However, he did recover his lost rifle.
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Old 10-29-08, 03:12 PM   #2
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Ok, that's better than the guy who had to cut off his own hand that was sandwiched between some rocks.
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Old 10-29-08, 03:13 PM   #3
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I bet he could not hang with the Nyack ride.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 10-29-08, 03:14 PM   #4
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I bet he could not hang with the Nyack ride.
look at you.
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Old 10-29-08, 03:21 PM   #5
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I try not to, unless it is unavoidable.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 10-29-08, 03:52 PM   #6
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The movie A Man in the Wilderness was based on Glass's adventures.

Makes for a good story, but should probably be taken with a grain of salt.
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Old 10-29-08, 03:55 PM   #7
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Simon Yates
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Old 10-29-08, 04:10 PM   #8
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Yesterday I got a splinter in my foot and I hardly cried at all when my girlfriend pulled it out for me. Try and top that!
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Old 10-29-08, 04:53 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wikipedia entry:Hugh Glass
To prevent gangrene, Glass laid his wounded back on a rotting log and let the maggots eat the dead flesh.
Smart guy, but damn that's nasty.
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Old 10-29-08, 05:22 PM   #10
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My favorite is the "toxic lady," Gloria Ramirez:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gloria_Ramirez
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Old 10-29-08, 05:58 PM   #11
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One of my favorite remarkable stories, as long as we're talking about Americans, is Sgt York.
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Old 10-29-08, 06:41 PM   #12
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http://www.cracked.com/article_16497...-in-balls.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_16354...r-uttered.html
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Old 10-29-08, 07:14 PM   #13
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On Cardiac Hill, heading toward Monticello Dam, there's this:
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Old 10-31-08, 11:08 AM   #14
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My favorite is the "toxic lady," Gloria Ramirez:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gloria_Ramirez
That's more like "True Tales of WTF?"
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Old 10-31-08, 11:23 AM   #15
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Smart guy, but damn that's nasty.
Medicinal maggots and leeches are seeing a resurgence in popularity these days.
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Old 10-31-08, 11:31 AM   #16
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Medicinal maggots and leeches are seeing a resurgence in popularity these days.
I wouldn't have any problem with it. It's not like they dig them out of the trash.
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Old 10-31-08, 12:14 PM   #17
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Medicinal maggots and leeches are actually regulated by the US Food and Drug Administration. AFAIK, they are the only two living organisms recognized as medical devices.
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Old 10-31-08, 12:16 PM   #18
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What exactly is HTFU? I've always known that to mean hurry the **** up.
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Old 10-31-08, 12:20 PM   #19
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What exactly is HTFU? I've always known that to mean hurry the **** up.
harden *** **** **
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Old 10-31-08, 12:25 PM   #20
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Ever watch "I Shouldn't Be Alive"? They're all pretty extreme tales.
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Old 10-31-08, 12:25 PM   #21
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Medicinal maggots and leeches are seeing a resurgence in popularity these days.
Theodoric of York, Medieval Barber Shops will open a franchise in your village soon. Got a touch of the plague? Can I interest you in a nice blood letting?
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 10-31-08, 12:31 PM   #22
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Theodoric of York, Medieval Barber Shops will open a franchise in your village soon. Got a touch of the plague? Can I interest you in a nice blood letting?


I loved that sketch!
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Old 10-31-08, 01:03 PM   #23
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My favourite is Teddy Roosevelt v. Bigfoot, aka The Bauman Story. (true story).


Here is an except from the story:

Frontiersmen are not, as a rule, apt to be very superstitious. They lead lives too hard and practical, and have too little imagination in things spiritual and supernatural. I have heard but few ghost stories while living on the frontier, and those few were of a perfectly commonplace and conventional type. But I once listened to a goblin-story, which rather impressed me.

A grizzled, weather beaten old mountain hunter, named Bauman who, born and had passed all of his life on the Frontier, told it the story to me. He must have believed what he said, for he could hardly repress a shudder at certain points of the tale; but he was of German ancestry, and in childhood had doubtless been saturated with all kinds of ghost and goblin lore. So that many fearsome superstitions were latent in his mind; besides, he knew well the stories told by the Indian medicine men in their winter camps, of the snow-walkers, and the specters, [spirits, ghosts & apparitions] the formless evil beings that haunt the forest depths, and dog and waylay the lonely wanderer who after nightfall passes through the regions where they lurk. It may be that when overcome by the horror of the fate that befell his friend, and when oppressed by the awful dread of the unknown, he grew to attribute, both at the time and still more in remembrance, weird and elfin traits to what was merely some abnormally wicked and cunning wild beast; but whether this was so or not, no man can say.
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Old 10-31-08, 01:18 PM   #24
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Ok, that's better than the guy who had to cut off his own hand that was sandwiched between some rocks.
A friend ran into that guy climbing in Yosemite recently. He had this superduper (aero no doubt) carbon-fiber/titanium prosthesis. I guess the main thing was if he had to do it again he would have cut his arm off right away rather while his knife blade was still sharp rather than spend a couple days dulling the blade chipping the rocks before gouging in.
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Old 10-31-08, 09:56 PM   #25
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Ok, that's better than the guy who had to cut off his own hand that was sandwiched between some rocks.
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