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Old 11-04-08, 05:14 AM   #1
RubenX 
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He took my spot!!!

This sneaky little son of mine did it again. He took my spot and is now sleeping with my wife. My options now are:

- Haul his skinny arse back to his room on the 2nd floor (he weights 90 pounds).
- Go to sleep in his room.
- The couch.
- Roll the boy over, throw him to the floor and reclaim my rightful spot.

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Old 11-04-08, 05:30 AM   #2
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Food for thought: if you aren't dead by 2050, you and your entire family will be within a few years from starvation. Now that is a cruel gift to leave for your offspring. ;)
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Old 11-04-08, 05:35 AM   #3
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Make him him go to your work while you stay home and play with his toys.
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Old 11-04-08, 05:48 AM   #4
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Oh this is terribly easy. Next time, crawl next to him, pull up the covers and let out a killer fart. Pretend you're asleep.

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Old 11-04-08, 07:44 AM   #5
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Make him him go to your work while you stay home and play with his toys.
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Old 11-04-08, 07:50 AM   #6
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I hope this thread is meant to be humorous. I'm having a hard time getting my head around the fact that a kid older than 12 months is still crawling in bed with his mother. Time to HTFU and learn some parenting skills.
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Old 11-04-08, 07:58 AM   #7
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Duct tape him to his bed.
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Old 11-04-08, 08:28 AM   #8
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I hope this thread is meant to be humorous. I'm having a hard time getting my head around the fact that a kid older than 12 months is still crawling in bed with his mother. Time to HTFU and learn some parenting skills.
Unless he had a bad nightmare or something. Sometimes kids still need the warmth or security of their parents. Or even a sibling.
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
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Old 11-04-08, 09:08 AM   #9
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Unless he had a bad nightmare or something. Sometimes kids still need the warmth or security of their parents. Or even a sibling.
For about 10 minutes, then off to their own bed...
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Old 11-04-08, 09:56 AM   #10
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Unless he had a bad nightmare or something. Sometimes kids still need the warmth or security of their parents. Or even a sibling.
But a 90 lb kid? I think my son was 90 lbs when he was 13!
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Old 11-04-08, 10:02 AM   #11
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I remember when my niece had her first heartbreak at 13. Her mom had no sympathy and told her to HTFU. I felt bad for her and sat with her to ask how she was. She cried her little heart out and cuddled to me on the couch while I wiped her tears away. She was torn and hurt and curled up into a ball. I held her and rocked her and told her she would survive this. Sometimes it doesn't matter how big you are, it's the comfort and trust one feels with someone who will be there.
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.

Last edited by Siu Blue Wind; 11-04-08 at 10:06 AM.
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Old 11-04-08, 11:48 AM   #12
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His room isn't deadbolted from the outside?


I'm starting to think something was amiss with my childhood...
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Old 11-04-08, 12:10 PM   #13
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It's okay, Clifton. We still love you. *pats Clifton on shoulder*
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
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Old 11-04-08, 12:14 PM   #14
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Toss him into the hallway and shut the door. That is my plan for the very near future.
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Old 11-04-08, 12:26 PM   #15
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Toss him into the hallway and shut the door. That is my plan for the very near future.
Might I suggest you toss him outside instead. After a shivering night in the cold, he will treasure his own bed and will never make that mistake again.
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Old 11-04-08, 01:15 PM   #16
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At least its your son sleeping with her and not someone else.

Seriously though, its natural for little kids to want to sleep with their parents. I remember going to my folks room when I was tiny after having bad dreams. I was just scared of being alone more than anything else. Maybe you should try to find out the reason for his being there and work on that? My mom would help me by telling me to think of something that made me really happy.
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Old 11-04-08, 01:24 PM   #17
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Did you clear out the monsters from under his bed and closet?

if not, then usually that is the problem.
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Old 11-04-08, 07:41 PM   #18
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OK, to get the technical details straight I have weighted the boy. The scale only says 50.4 but remember that kids double their weight when asleep so I wasn't off by that much. And since I like to ilustrate my posts, here's a pic of the offender:



And now the rest of the story... I opted for the couch and spend like 15 minutes there when I saw my baby daughter walking around all cranky. Knowing she likes to kick everything when sleeping, it occurred to me to use the baby as the ultimate weapon of doom. I prepared a milk bottle and place it on the bed right between my wife and son. I left them 3 on the bed and went back to the couch.

Few minutes later the yelling started... "move there!"... "Go away!"... "go to your room!"... "Don't kick me!"... Wife woke up, send boy to his room and took baby to hers. Then I reclaimed my spot

Here's a pic of my secret weapon:



Wife suspects I'm the brains behind last night mayhem but can't prove it. I'm denying everything.
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Old 11-04-08, 07:44 PM   #19
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That's awesome.

GOD that's friggin awesomelol1lol1
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Old 11-04-08, 10:10 PM   #20
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Seriously though, its natural for little kids to want to sleep with their parents.
BIG difference between Want and Get.
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Old 11-04-08, 10:28 PM   #21
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HAHAHA thats perfect *Note to self for when I have kids*
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Old 11-04-08, 11:06 PM   #22
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Awwwwwwwwwwww. Gorgeous...
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Old 11-05-08, 07:29 AM   #23
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OMG you have the most adorable kids!!!
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Please dont outsmart the censor. That is a very expensive censor and every time one of you guys outsmart it it makes someone at the home office feel bad. We dont wanna do that. So dont cleverly disguise bad words.
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Old 11-05-08, 07:54 AM   #24
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I use times like that to sleep alone. The couch is awesome!!! Our bed winds up usually having four of us and a dog. It's like the shallow end of a dang community pool in mid July.
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Old 11-05-08, 11:00 AM   #25
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Get him out of that habit.

Now.

Seroiusly.
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