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Old 11-04-08, 05:03 PM   #1
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my daughter....

has up and moved to FL with this guy she's been living with since april. it's a long story, one that i'm not going to air in Foo, but some of you might know a little of what's gone on in the past 6-8 months with her. i've had to cut her off from the money or anything that she could use to purchase frivilous items. her Dad has cut her off as well, since sometime last fall - she turned to mom then and i didn't know that he'd cut her off or of the lies & such she was telling both of us.

*sigh* she has wanted to be an "adult" but just hasn't learned how to do that - only 20yo. seems to want everything given to her and to not work. i have no idea what happened or why she's turned out the way she has. a mother's nightmare.
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Old 11-04-08, 05:14 PM   #2
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I can only imagine your disappointment. Perhaps she's just having a wild streak? She's young enough to goof off for a spell, and still get on a good track in life.
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Old 11-04-08, 05:18 PM   #3
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My thoughts with you. A parents nitemare.
I was incorrigible and had to learn on my own despite great advice
from smart people. It happens.
Where in FL ?? Its a hellish feces hole-jungle here. she'll be back
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Old 11-04-08, 05:23 PM   #4
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I can only imagine your disappointment. Perhaps she's just having a wild streak? She's young enough to goof off for a spell, and still get on a good track in life.
no, Arti, it's not a wild streak. she's flitted from one part time job to another since she graduated and subsequently quit working for the post office. broke up w/bf of 5yrs, met this guy at fedex where she started working in feb and had signed an apt lease with him by march or april.

we tried to get her to go to college, we were going to pay for all of it, as most parents try to do. but, she didn't want to do that. now, she's in a situation where she's PG, moved to FL to live with this guy & his mom, most likely on welfare/food stamps. F.

*edit* where in FL? i think she told her step-mom it was Mulberry?? somewhere near lakeland?? hell i don't know where she's at. she hasn't called me.
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Old 11-04-08, 05:27 PM   #5
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I'm sorry to hear that. My girl is only 2yo but nobody can stop time, I'll get there some day. It scares the hell out of me.
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Old 11-04-08, 05:28 PM   #6
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Sorry to hear this WP. A guy I work with had the same problem with his 20-something kid. Kept blowing through money, dropped out of school, ran of with some chick. He's just as freaked out as you are, if that's any help (and I'm sure it's not - heh)...
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Old 11-04-08, 05:32 PM   #7
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I recall going through this situation as a teen to twenties. I gave my parents all sorts of hell. I didn't "grow up" until I was 22 or so. Things will get better, sometimes people need to hit the bottom to get back up. I speak from experience on that one.
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Old 11-04-08, 05:34 PM   #8
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it's been a very big disappointment to all of us - the way she has acted/behaved over the past 1.5yrs. i don't know what happened or how it turned to go down this road. i gave her all the advice i could - some of the things she's done - i've been there, done that, got dozens of t-shirts, but she wouldn't listen. in one ear, out the other. i don't know what else i could have done.
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Old 11-04-08, 05:35 PM   #9
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ha. how's things going to get better for her??? she's bringing a child into this world in march '09. she can barely take care of herself - how in the world is she going to take care of a child. omg. i just cannot believe this.
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Old 11-04-08, 05:38 PM   #10
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its strange, isnt it? one of my mom's good friends, an absolute saint and an advocate for domestic violence against women (a professional in the industry for many years) has a daughter addicted to meth, prostituting and living with her pimp that beats her (they actually just took off to FL, ironically).

I don't know that you can make sense of it. And, you certainly can't beat yourself up over it. I think tough love is the best solution- and if you're able, also leaving that door open in case things change.
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Old 11-04-08, 05:40 PM   #11
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ha. how's things going to get better for her??? she's bringing a child into this world in march '09. she can barely take care of herself - how in the world is she going to take care of a child. omg. i just cannot believe this.
I was 19 when I had a child. Trust me, things can get better.
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Old 11-04-08, 05:40 PM   #12
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I'm guessing you did all you could - and nothing else you might have done would have made a difference.

Sad & sucky to be sure... Guess you'll just have to wait it out & hope for the best.
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Old 11-04-08, 05:44 PM   #13
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I was 19 when I had a child. Trust me, things can get better.
well, i was 19 when i got married the first time, to get away from a very controlling father. had my daughter when i was 23. i know things can get better, but it's a real ***** to watch her make these mistakes and to totally ignore the advice from one who's been there done that. oh well, guess i'll be sad tonight and move on tomorrow. not really anything else i can do.
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Old 11-04-08, 05:46 PM   #14
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Chin up and tough love.
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Old 11-04-08, 05:48 PM   #15
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i know. tough love is very hard to do, but i did it. she'll be ok.
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Old 11-04-08, 05:50 PM   #16
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What's the warranty like on children? Is it too late to take her back? :hmm:

If it is, I guess the best you can hope for at this point is that she'll straighten herself out when faced with the real world.
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Old 11-04-08, 05:53 PM   #17
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Well, you did the best you could. Nobody can expect better than that.
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Old 11-04-08, 05:56 PM   #18
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i know. tough love is very hard to do, but i did it. she'll be ok.

You might want to get her a tracfone/calling card or have one of her friends
who knows her whereabouts forward it to her.
My Son left collage in his 3rd year to 'find himself' Its disheartening
but I did the same thing at his age and it was the best time of my life,
so I try to think positively about it. I hope you can to.
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Old 11-04-08, 06:04 PM   #19
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What's the warranty like on children? Is it too late to take her back? :hmm:

If it is, I guess the best you can hope for at this point is that she'll straighten herself out when faced with the real world.
unfortunately, the warrenty expired many yrs ago.

hopefully, she'll grow up one of these days..

*edit* she does have a cell phone that her dad is still paying for.
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Old 11-04-08, 06:07 PM   #20
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Change the thread title to Son and boy...can I ever relate.

My heart is with you WP.
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Old 11-04-08, 06:13 PM   #21
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thanks everyone. i just needed to vent/talk about this a bit. talked to my son a little bit this evening, but that's not really the same...really wish i had someone here to talk to and get a real hug from. oh well.
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Old 11-04-08, 06:18 PM   #22
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Sorry WP - hopefully she will learn to make good choices for her life as she goes. She's fortunate in having a good mom
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Old 11-04-08, 06:25 PM   #23
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Yikes, I feel bad for you wolfpack. I have done plenty bad to my parents but nothing as outrageous as what you described. Mainly because my dad would beat me to within .0000001mm of my life if I did, child abuse be damned. Marines make good parents btw

Anyhow not much advice for you as I am only 19 (heh, I'm younger than your daughter...) but perhaps having the child will force her to grow up and face some reality. I know that's how it was for a few of my friends. Becoming parents, a job, catastrophe etc. It's unfortunate but sometimes it's what is needed.

Wordbiker: I think you would get along with my dad haha. When I was 17 I wanted a motorcycle so I went out and bought one without telling my parents. They were not pleased. I still have the darned thing and ride it almost everyday
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Old 11-04-08, 06:50 PM   #24
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I believe the warranty label says to take it back to the manufacturer... doesn't help much.
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Old 11-04-08, 07:16 PM   #25
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*sigh* just don't know what happened. hurts like hell too that she just up and left and didn't even bother to call me. was she even going to call? will she?? IDK.
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