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Old 11-07-08, 01:04 PM   #1
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Foo Soap Opera # 389873: My ex-gf got married all of a sudden, WTF?

Long story short (for now)...so there was this wonderful woman I was dating last year. Then we became "just friends". Then we started dating again. Then I became "one of her closest friends".

Then she and I chilled for a month with no communications. It was Ramadan. She is muslim. I respected her quiet time to fast.


Okay, so she calls me frantic the other day to say "your inbox is full...I couldn't reach you!" Yeah, I was happy. See, I kind of held out hope that we would start back dating since we had grown so close. I was taking my time, decided that the relationship started off shaky because I moved too fast.


Wrong!

She calls me today to tell me she is married. Went to the courthouse. TODAY.

Apparently, the next time I fall in love with someone, I need to just run to the courthouse and tie the knot before someone else does, WTF?


Once again, I am lost. How do you people manage anyway?


For future reference, yes..this IS a pity party!
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Old 11-07-08, 01:05 PM   #2
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Sorry Dipper.
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Old 11-07-08, 01:07 PM   #3
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Sorry Dipper.

Me too.
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Old 11-07-08, 01:07 PM   #4
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I'm speechless....got nothing.

Sorry your going through that.
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Old 11-07-08, 01:09 PM   #5
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I'm speechless....got nothing.

Sorry your going through that.


Me too.
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Old 11-07-08, 01:10 PM   #6
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She said that she really needs me at the reception tomorrow, since we are so close. I'm one of her best friends, she said. She doesn't want me to be shocked or surprised, she said.


How's that going for me, I wonder?
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Old 11-07-08, 01:10 PM   #7
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I'd say you dodged a bullet.

Do you really want to be with someone who would make a rash decision like that? From your post it looks like she married some guy after knowing him just a couple of months. Unless she was seeing him the same time she was seeing you.
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Old 11-07-08, 01:10 PM   #8
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What's frightening is how coherent Hickey was in posting that.
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Old 11-07-08, 01:13 PM   #9
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I'd say you dodged a bullet.

Do you really want to be with someone who would make a rash decision like that? From your post it looks like she married some guy after knowing him just a couple of months. Unless she was seeing him the same time she was seeing you.

If it's the guy I think it is, then she's only known him for a couple of months. We met at her birthday party. I left with her, he didn't. She fell asleep in my arms that night, not his.


If it's someone else, then I can see why she asked me not to be shocked. I would be surprised if it's the guy she barely knows. I would be shocked if it's someone I haven't even met. Did I mention that we were/are close?
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Old 11-07-08, 01:14 PM   #10
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Time to HTFU and aboandon romance. Time to be callous and just bag women by the baker's dozen.


Chivalry is dead.
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Old 11-07-08, 01:15 PM   #11
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bummer man
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Old 11-07-08, 01:15 PM   #12
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I'm sorry Dipper, but it does sound like you are better off.

Are you going to go? It seems that the two of you have different ideas on where your relationship stands.
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Old 11-07-08, 01:16 PM   #13
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Weird dude...did you post this on CL?
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Old 11-07-08, 01:17 PM   #14
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I'd say you dodged a bullet.

Do you really want to be with someone who would make a rash decision like that? From your post it looks like she married some guy after knowing him just a couple of months. Unless she was seeing him the same time she was seeing you.
+1

And don't get too down. If she follows form, she may be back on the market within six months.
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Old 11-07-08, 01:17 PM   #15
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Did I mention that we were/are close?
From an outsider's perspective, it looks like you thought you were closer than she did. If she really considered you a close friend she would have confided earlier that she'd met this great guy and was head over heels, she wouldn't have sprung it on you the day she got married.
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Old 11-07-08, 01:21 PM   #16
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She said that she really needs me at the reception tomorrow, since we are so close. I'm one of her best friends, she said. She doesn't want me to be shocked or surprised, she said.
It's a good thing she gave you a whole day, then! I mean, it takes at least forty-five minutes to acclimate to and be okay with these kinds of things.

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Old 11-07-08, 01:25 PM   #17
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I'm sorry Dipper, but it does sound like you are better off.

Are you going to go? It seems that the two of you have different ideas on where your relationship stands.



"Better off alone..."


Yeah, I guess. Differences on where we stand. You betcha. I don't kiss my close friends in the mouth, etc..

That's why I think that she really liked me, but I moved too slow and blew it. It's all about timing. This guy just swooped in and...bang! MARRIED HER.
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Old 11-07-08, 01:25 PM   #18
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It's a good thing she gave you a whole day, then! I mean, it takes at least forty-five minutes to acclimate to and be okay with these kinds of things.

I'd tell her I was washing my hair that night, and I shave my head.
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Old 11-07-08, 01:27 PM   #19
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It's a good thing she gave you a whole day, then! I mean, it takes at least forty-five minutes to acclimate to and be okay with these kinds of things.


+1 That's the kind of pity party I wanted to throw. Thanks x136! I need some anti-crazy talk in my life right now.
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Old 11-07-08, 01:29 PM   #20
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I mean, I don't get the whole "I will feel really bad if you aren't there" talk. That's crazy talk, isn't it? Shouldn't she be saying "I met someone really wonderful that I want you to meet" or "there's this guy that likes me, will you check him out for me, your opinion really matters"? And shouldn't these things be said way earlier? Like last year earlier?
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Old 11-07-08, 01:31 PM   #21
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Weird dude...did you post this on CL?
That's great.

I really'd suggest to the OP that he maybe avoid the reception. Sometimes grooms have pals who don't understand exactly why the bride is so "close" to you. An honest assessment of why the OP was so close will probably not sit well with these fellows. Best to avoid trouble.

On another note, I wonder whether the OP has begun sleeping with all of her friends yet.

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Old 11-07-08, 01:33 PM   #22
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She shouldn't try to guilt you into going like that. Its pretty manipulative, imo.
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Old 11-07-08, 01:34 PM   #23
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I'd say you dodged a bullet.

Do you really want to be with someone who would make a rash decision like that? From your post it looks like she married some guy after knowing him just a couple of months. Unless she was seeing him the same time she was seeing you.
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+1

Sounds like she has issues. I'd not go to the reception, say it would be too awkward to meet her new husband at this point since you'd been dating only a couple months ago.
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+1

And don't get too down. If she follows form, she may be back on the market within six months.
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She shouldn't try to guilt you into going like that. Its pretty manipulative, imo.
correct.
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Old 11-07-08, 01:37 PM   #24
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I mean, I don't get the whole "I will feel really bad if you aren't there" talk. That's crazy talk, isn't it? Shouldn't she be saying "I met someone really wonderful that I want you to meet" or "there's this guy that likes me, will you check him out for me, your opinion really matters"? And shouldn't these things be said way earlier? Like last year earlier?

Yes, if you were her close friend she would have confided in you. The "I feel bad" speech is because she is feeling guilty about not telling you, or leading you on when she was interested in this other guy.

She treated you badly, her conscience is is telling her that, she's trying to dig herself out of a hole.

On the plus side, I put out a request for a recipe for Romulan Ale in the cocktails forum. If any good ones turn up you can drown your sorrows.
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Old 11-07-08, 01:40 PM   #25
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Yes, if you were her close friend she would have confided in you. The "I feel bad" speech is because she is feeling guilty about not telling you, or leading you on when she was interested in this other guy.

She treated you badly, her conscience is is telling her that, she's trying to dig herself out of a hole.

On the plus side, I put out a request for a recipe for Romulan Ale in the cocktails forum. If any good ones turn up you can drown your sorrows.
Yup. She's trying to hide her own guilt by making you feel guilty. What a nice "close" friend there. I would cut off ties with this chick and find someone else. She sounds like way too much drama
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