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Old 11-19-08, 02:30 PM   #1
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Stupid Childish Poems/Songs?

What are some silly poems/songs you remember from childhood?


Made you look
You dirty crook
You stole your mother's pocketbook
You turned it in
You turned it out
You turned it into sauerkraut

-----------------------

(Not sure if I remember these words right or not..and didn't see it on a google)
Icka Belicka Belinda
The monkey washed the window
The hose it broke
The monk got soaked
(forget last line)

-----------------------

One spooky night when the moon was green
Over the hill came a turd machine
A shot was fired
A scream was heard
A lady got hit by a flying turd




What ones do you remember?
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Old 11-19-08, 02:31 PM   #2
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Noel, Noel, Noel
May all my enemies go to hell.
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Old 11-19-08, 02:32 PM   #3
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Noel, Noel, Noel
May all my enemies go to hell.
Jingle Bells
Batman Smells
Robin laid and egg
The Batmobile
Lost a wheel
And the Joker got away, Hey!
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Old 11-19-08, 09:01 PM   #4
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Great green gobs of gooey grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Hairy little piggies feet
Great green gobs of gooey grimy gopher guts
Anybody got a spoon?
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Old 11-20-08, 01:12 AM   #5
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jingle bells, santa smells, a million miles away...

Here come the groom
all dressed in pink
open the window and let out the stink

god save our gracious queen
shave her with shaving cream
god save the queen
send her to halifax make her pay income tax...
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Old 11-20-08, 11:33 AM   #6
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I'm getting buried in them from my 7 yr old now.
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Old 11-20-08, 11:44 AM   #7
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remembering my childhood has been blocked by remembering the "getting high" thread
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Old 11-20-08, 12:29 PM   #8
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all nursery rhymes.
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Old 11-20-08, 12:34 PM   #9
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When you're standin' in the shower
And you smell somethin sour,
Diarrhea, bum, bum,
Diarrhea, bum, bum!
When you're slidin' into home
And your pants are full of foam,
Diarrhea, bum, bum,
Diarrhea, bum, bum!
When you smell somethin' funky
And your pants are feelin chunky,
Diarrhea, bum, bum,
Diarrhea, bum, bum!
When you're sittin' in a class,
And that fart let out more than gas,
Diarrhea, bum, bum,
Diarrhea, bum, bum!
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Old 11-20-08, 12:59 PM   #10
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When you're standin' in the shower
And you smell somethin sour,
Diarrhea, bum, bum,
Diarrhea, bum, bum!
When you're slidin' into home
And your pants are full of foam,
Diarrhea, bum, bum,
Diarrhea, bum, bum!
When you smell somethin' funky
And your pants are feelin chunky,
Diarrhea, bum, bum,
Diarrhea, bum, bum!
When you're sittin' in a class,
And that fart let out more than gas,
Diarrhea, bum, bum,
Diarrhea, bum, bum!


That brings back memories!! Only I think we said "burn, burn", not "bum, bum".
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Old 11-20-08, 01:10 PM   #11
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Joy to the world
Barney's dead
We barbequed his head!
Don't worry 'bout the body
We flushed it down the potty
And round and round it went
And round and round it went
And roooouuund, and rooouuund, and round it went.
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A girl once asked me to give her twelve inches and make it hurt. I had to make love to her 3 times and then punch her in the nose.
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Old 11-20-08, 01:16 PM   #12
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Joy to the world
Barney's dead
We barbequed his head!
Don't worry 'bout the body
We flushed it down the potty
And round and round it went
And round and round it went
And roooouuund, and rooouuund, and round it went.
I was wondering how long it was going to take before someone posted that.
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Old 11-20-08, 08:59 PM   #13
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I remember analyzing "red wheelbarrow" in PA english in Highschool. Spent an entire class picking appart this stupid poem. Comments on everything from "red stands for communism" to the leingth of each line on the page. What a load of crap.

so much depends
upon a red wheel
barrow glazed with rain
water beside the white
chickens.
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Old 11-20-08, 09:03 PM   #14
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roses are red
violets are blue
something smells like poo
and that would be you

I have limited storage space in my cranium.
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Old 11-20-08, 09:11 PM   #15
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My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured every teacher
We have broken every rule
We are marching down the stairs to kill the principal, boo hoo!
And that was the end of school

==

Great green globs of greasy grimey gopher guts
Mutilated Monkey Meat
Chopped up dirty birdie feet
Great green globs of greasy grimey gopher guts
To eat without a spoon

==
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Old 11-21-08, 11:37 AM   #16
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Here i sit broken hearted
Trying to s*** but only farted
Wasted my time but what the hell
At least i can sit here and enjoy the smell
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Old 11-21-08, 11:43 AM   #17
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My eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured every teacher
We have broken every rule
We are marching down the stairs to kill the principal, boo hoo!
And that was the end of school
Aaaah...yes, another classic.

Reminds of a one I actually coined myself.

Deck the halls with nitroglycerin, fa la la la la, la la la la
Light a match and see who's missin', fa la la la la, la la la la
Watch the school yard burn to hell, fa la la la la, la la la la
Now its gone and all is weeell, fa la la la la, la la la la

-----

Another classic in the same vein.


On top of old Smokey, All covered with snow
I shot my poor teacher, with a .44
I went to her funeral
I went to her grave
Some people threw flowers
I threw grenades
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Old 11-21-08, 11:45 AM   #18
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Here i sit broken hearted
Trying to s*** but only farted
Wasted my time but what the hell
At least i can sit here and enjoy the smell
I always heard the last 2 lines as

Later on I took a chance
Tried to fart and **** my pants.
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Old 11-21-08, 11:48 AM   #19
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With a 4-month old around, we decided to get a CD with 150 tunes for $10.

So, I have a 150 stupid songs I could mention, but it's too much work to list them all...

But this one is my favorite:

But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, we thought he was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea

The man around the corner swore he'd kill the cat on sight,
He loaded up his shotgun with nails and dynamite;
He waited and he waited for the cat to come around,
Ninety seven pieces of the man is all they found.


I don't get the last line...
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Old 11-21-08, 11:54 AM   #20
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The man around the corner swore he'd kill the cat on sight,
He loaded up his shotgun with nails and dynamite;
He waited and he waited for the cat to come around,
Ninety seven pieces of the man is all they found.


I don't get the last line...
Loading his shotgun with nails and dynamite was an idiotic thing to do, the weapon exploded and blew the guy to smithereens.

Who wrote these "kids songs"? Nick Cave?

Last edited by CliftonGK1; 11-21-08 at 11:55 AM. Reason: additional information
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Old 11-21-08, 12:21 PM   #21
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Who wrote these "kids songs"? Nick Cave?
Or kids' books. We have a book about the mother chasing this kid around the house trying to tickle him. The kid is running and crying because he doesn't want to be tickled, but the mom still chases him. I haven't thrown it away yet, though.

There is another book we found about how to make your mother mad while grocery shopping. I am not kidding--it's currently on the shelves at Target.

(We got a bunch of books from a church basement garage sale and we are still finding utter crap in the pile we have.)
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Old 11-21-08, 03:01 PM   #22
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More "high school" time frame, but I just remembered another.
(to the tune of "row, row, row your boat")

Roll, roll, roll a joint
Pass it down the line
Take a toke
Of magic smoke
And blow your f&$#ing mind
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