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Old 11-25-08, 12:56 PM   #1
Allen
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Welcome back Siu

Here's to not having that damn plastic alligator gnawing on the end of your finger, and whoever invented the backless gown needs flick in the forehead.
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Old 11-25-08, 01:04 PM   #2
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I don't understand any of that.
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Old 11-25-08, 01:11 PM   #3
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I don't understand any of that.
Been a while since you have spent the night in a hospital hasn't it?
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Old 11-25-08, 01:11 PM   #4
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Thanks Allen. It wasn't a fun ride and it's still a pain.

I got in trouble at the ER. I pulled the alligator off of my finger, the blood pressure cuff off of my arm and was trying to figure out how to pull out my IV since NOBODY would come when I pushed the nurse's button. The dang machine started screamin' and some dude who I never saw came in and started pushing buttons on the machine and asking what I want and what I am doing.

"I have to go pee really really bad right now."

He gave me a dirty look.

When I came back I connected myself back (since nobody was around) but I didn't know what buttons to push back on. So I just lie there. When a lady came to check on me, I was flatlined (per the machine) and she started to yell at me "MA'AM ARE YOU OKAY??!!??" and shocked me out of my drug induced haze. When I jumped up and yelled "AHHH!!" I scared the lady. Well, geeze!! She scared ME!

When she put the machine on, my heart was a-thumpin'.
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Old 11-25-08, 01:13 PM   #5
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I was in the horsepital in January. I had to pee really badly, but they wouldn't let me out of bed, so they gave me a cup. It was marked at 16oz and I filled it. I had to pee really badly.
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Old 11-25-08, 01:17 PM   #6
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Last two times I was in they stabbed me in the neck.
I think I may have pissed of the mafia.
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Old 11-25-08, 01:22 PM   #7
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Hospitals....yuck!
Except the pharmacy usually has some pretty good stuff.
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Old 11-25-08, 01:37 PM   #8
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Thanks Allen. It wasn't a fun ride and it's still a pain.

I got in trouble at the ER. I pulled the alligator off of my finger, the blood pressure cuff off of my arm and was trying to figure out how to pull out my IV since NOBODY would come when I pushed the nurse's button. The dang machine started screamin' and some dude who I never saw came in and started pushing buttons on the machine and asking what I want and what I am doing.

"I have to go pee really really bad right now."

He gave me a dirty look.

When I came back I connected myself back (since nobody was around) but I didn't know what buttons to push back on. So I just lie there. When a lady came to check on me, I was flatlined (per the machine) and she started to yell at me "MA'AM ARE YOU OKAY??!!??" and shocked me out of my drug induced haze. When I jumped up and yelled "AHHH!!" I scared the lady. Well, geeze!! She scared ME!

When she put the machine on, my heart was a-thumpin'.
I fell off my bike (icy morning) about 3 years ago on my commute in and banged up my face pretty badly. I was driven to the ER in an ambulance (thank God not strapped to a backboard).

My wife works at the same hospital so she came rushing over to see me. She walked in right as I was bending over to take off my tights and as the bloody bandage on my face fell off. She thought it was the skin on my face falling off and nearly had a heart attack.
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Old 11-25-08, 01:42 PM   #9
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Last time I was in the hospital, they put one of those cones on my neck so I would not lick myself and locked me in a cage until the morning. The cat next door was cool though.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 11-25-08, 01:55 PM   #10
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THis is why I have left instructions for my parents that when I get creamed by a Suburban, they are to peel me off the pavement and take me home, where my brother (an EMT) is to patch me up.
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Old 11-25-08, 02:00 PM   #11
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All of my adventures to the ER have been fun. In a sadistic, impatient and infuriating sort of way.
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 $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces
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Old 11-25-08, 02:06 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Siu Blue Wind View Post
Thanks Allen. It wasn't a fun ride and it's still a pain.

I got in trouble at the ER. I pulled the alligator off of my finger, the blood pressure cuff off of my arm and was trying to figure out how to pull out my IV since NOBODY would come when I pushed the nurse's button. The dang machine started screamin' and some dude who I never saw came in and started pushing buttons on the machine and asking what I want and what I am doing.

"I have to go pee really really bad right now."

He gave me a dirty look.

When I came back I connected myself back (since nobody was around) but I didn't know what buttons to push back on. So I just lie there. When a lady came to check on me, I was flatlined (per the machine) and she started to yell at me "MA'AM ARE YOU OKAY??!!??" and shocked me out of my drug induced haze. When I jumped up and yelled "AHHH!!" I scared the lady. Well, geeze!! She scared ME!

When she put the machine on, my heart was a-thumpin'.

yanno, if it wasn't so serious, that story would be funny....
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Old 11-25-08, 02:09 PM   #13
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When I came back I connected myself back (since nobody was around) but I didn't know what buttons to push back on. So I just lie there. When a lady came to check on me, I was flatlined (per the machine) and she started to yell at me "MA'AM ARE YOU OKAY??!!??" and shocked me out of my drug induced haze. When I jumped up and yelled "AHHH!!" I scared the lady. Well, geeze!! She scared ME!
excellent!
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Last edited by pgoat; 11-25-08 at 02:21 PM. Reason: ooops! sorry, Siu & trsidn! /\
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Old 11-25-08, 02:10 PM   #14
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Welcome back, and glad to know you're better!
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Old 11-25-08, 02:20 PM   #15
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I am prone to kidney stones so once every two or three years I visit an ER for some drugs. Two incidents, similar (as far as my kidney was concerned - ow*) but different (as far as the hopsital went).

One was the hospital in Manhattan across the street from where my wife works as a nurse. I was ignored for hours. Finally a Dr. walked by and saw me through my ER curtain , on my knees with my butt in the air moaning like I was burning in the flames of hell. (btw, I've spoken to other kidney stone sufferers and urologists and all concur this is the best pain alleviating position, for some humiliating and undignified reason).

He acted all surprised that I was feeling my pain, didn't I know they have drugs there for this sort of thing, etc. Like it was my choice to be ignored. I guess I should have found a new way to press and hold the button down. When he yelled at my nurse to get on it, she acted all pissed at me and was extra rough administering the too-low doses of drugz. Why do these people go into fields they hate?

fast forward three years, and while on vaca in rural upstate NY, I get the 90mph ride to ER, my wife screeches right up to the door, I literally fall out on all fours, (Raaalpph!!), get up, walk in while my wife parks the car, and I was the only soul in there. Five mins later, IV drip. Ten minutes later I was jammin' with Jimi and Janis.
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Old 11-25-08, 02:52 PM   #16
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I was in the horsepital in January. I had to pee really badly, but they wouldn't let me out of bed, so they gave me a cup.
Same thing happened to me, except the cup was full of blood.
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Old 11-25-08, 02:56 PM   #17
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Same thing happened to me, except the cup was full of blood.
gotta stay hydrated.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 11-25-08, 03:01 PM   #18
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gotta stay hydrated.
...and try not to take cars internally.
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Old 11-25-08, 03:03 PM   #19
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...and try not to take cars internally.
I almost took a branch internally, turns out the layers of fat surrounding all my organs protected everything. Well, that or I don't have any internal organs. I'm not sure which.
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Old 11-25-08, 03:06 PM   #20
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Well, that or I don't have any internal organs.
I hereby dub thee UnsafeAmoeba.
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Old 11-25-08, 03:09 PM   #21
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I hereby dub thee UnsafeAmoeba.
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Old 11-25-08, 03:20 PM   #22
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I hereby dub thee UnsafeAmoeba.
With his sidekick, Danger Germ, super villains [sic--moderate villains] who have wrought terror [several disturbing the peace complaints to 911] to America's heartland [rural Colorado].
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Old 11-25-08, 03:21 PM   #23
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Old 11-25-08, 03:23 PM   #24
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With his sidekick, Danger Germ, super villains [sic--moderate villains] who have wrought terror [several disturbing the peace complaints to 911] to America's heartland [rural Colorado].
Hey, that cow tipping night was freakin' awesome...
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Old 11-25-08, 03:27 PM   #25
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I love you guys.
Why. What did we do NOW?
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