I've been facing a serious issue for the past few years, and I've decided to post about it and see if others have had similar experiences.
My relationship with my family has always been distant. To avoid being too revealing, the relationship between my father and I has always been stagnant since he came to the States over 10 years ago. However, my mother and I have always been close and have talked about whatever came to mind. I don't know exactly how to put this into a clearer sentence, but I have always been corrected and reprimanded by them (especially my father), mostly for the same faults that I had as a child and as a teen. I know that I've changed a lot over the years since I moved out for college, and I've attempted to correct a lot of the flaws that they have pointed out over the years, but often it feels like the more things change, the more things stay the same.
The crux of the problem is that I can barely communicate with the both of them now. My mom just started a new business, and has been busy and on-the-go. Because I also work in the day and often don't get home until the middle or late evening, we hardly ever talk to each other now. However, when we do talk to one another, I feel like I treat her with less respect than she deserves. I often call her because I need something, yet hardly think to call her just to see how she is. Also, when there is a problem or when she corrects me on something I did wrong, I get very worked up about it and have a full-out argument with her, when it never really needs to get that far. I usually realize the wrongful action I did, but only after the damage has been done, and I really am at a loss on how to fix this. I'm not like this to my father, but a lot of that has to do with our relationship being different.
Though the waters have settled between my Dad and I since I moved out, I can still feel small rifts of turbulence between us. There is always tension between us when we're together (which is rarely ever, considering our work schedules), and we hardly call one another. It's very difficult for me to speak to him, partly because I don't really know what to say, but mostly because it just is.
I'm not like this to anyone else. I try to be a very nice and helpful person to others, and hate arguing or having bad relations with others (though sometimes I strive for the former just for the heat of the moment). Regardless, I feel that these attitudes are, in some way, self-destructive both to my family and myself.
So, I turn to you guys here. Has anyone found themselves in a similar spot with their parents? Is this one of the normal consequences of growing up and moving away from family dependency? I'm going to talk to them and tell them how I feel, though I really don't want to hurt them and I feel that their advice will probably lack perspective. I love my parents very much, and now that I'm older, I really want to try and avoid these kinds of small setbacks.
As always, I sincerely appreciate any (serious) feedback anyone can give. This is a very pressing issue with me, and I know I'm not the only one that had to deal with this.
Thank you for reading.