Just in case you are unaware, don't browse the BikeForums when you're in a quarterly meeting and there are people who know your manager watching you.
In other words, <b>don't be like me.</b>
My manager pulled me to the carpet and pretty much asked me if I want to work the last two weeks I had remaining. I was about 98.6% ready to pull the trigger and end it all this week. However, to assume a thread of responsibility (and because I'm a roadie and like suffering), I decided to stay. I wasn't concerned about that.
Obviously, I will probably have little to do the rest of my time here because of my overall lackluster performance. Not to mention that I might not want to try surfing BF at work. I'm not concerned (much) about that.
My concern is that this is the SECOND work term this has happened. I entered a job with great expectations and quickly lost interest and underperformed. I was very anxious to get to work in the first few weeks, but soon after I got my PC and started working, that interest diminished. To replace that, I went back to BF during work...and that led me to today.
This was the second time that I didn't care about what I was hired to do. I made sure that I *did* the work, but timeliness wasn't a factor. I messed up frequently, but didn't care to make the end result great. Heck, I passed up two opportunities to meet upper management (VP and CEO), and I turned both of them down simply because I didn't care (and still don't). I enjoyed my bike and train commute (2.5 to 3 hours, each way) a lot more than I enjoyed the work.itself. I'm getting tired of this pattern and am scared that this will be the trend for my future jobs, and I really don't want to scath my recrd by being fired.
Frankly, my work ethic has always been an issue, and I've taken steps to correct it. For instance, I wanted my GPA to go up, so I experimented with different study methods and cut my social life. Consequently, my GPA went up. Even if I didn't like the classes, I *found* something to like.
When I worked as an IT guy in my first job, I loved how I was always needed. Though the work was a little tedious. I *wanted* to move up in the ranks. I really liked what the Desktop Engineering group did, so I learned how to script. I even made a script for our team (that wasn't asked of me). I *loved* that job. My motivation was to learn everything I could and help out as much as I could. Now that I think about it, there wasn't as much regulation as any other job I had afterwards (though after I left, things certainly changed...that company 'grew up' as a whole). People even said that my manager was an *******, and I never noticed ONCE.
Neither of my last jobs had any motivation for me to do the best. Some say to make the best out of a bad thing, but when you don't care, that's really tough to do. I'm scared that the next place that hires me will see this same side of me; unproductive, uninfluenced and uninteresting; everything I'm *not.*
I know what I want to do. I DON'T want anything to do with business. (If I hear SOP one more time, I will punch someone. Don't do it pgoat! ) I want to be either a support guy or software developer. I want to be in a place that I can make *real* friends. I hate having so much regulation. I want to take pride in my company and see it succeed.
I DON'T WANT TO HATE MY JOB.