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Old 12-23-08, 09:03 AM   #1
jsharr
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A Question for Crackerjab

Dear Crackerjabsan:

While braving the huddled masses at the mall this past weekend, doing the first and the last of the Christmas shopping, a kiosk ninja ambushed my son, who is 8. My son escaped unscathed, but did come away from the fray bearing a small piece of translucent material, which he was led to believe is soap.

It looks strangely like kryponite, yet it is not green, it is lavender, both in color and scent and it leaves a film on your hands that when mixed with water yields a strange foam. If you attempt to wash the foam away, your hands feel clean and refreshed, so obviously something is going on here.

Anyway, my question is this. Do I take the bio-hazard away from my son, go back to the mall and insert it into an orifice of the first soap kiosk attendant I see? If so, which orifice would you reccomend?

If not, what are my options?

Dying to know, or at least I think I am dying,

Jsharr
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 12-23-08, 09:09 AM   #2
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Edit, my son is 7 and 1/2 actually. Not sure if this will help you formulate the correct response for jsharr.
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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Old 12-23-08, 09:16 AM   #3
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Better check the grill for beer before he sees this....

just don't bend over with your backside out for too long while checking
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Old 12-23-08, 09:32 AM   #4
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I believe there is still time. The chemical peel that they sell is actually the antidote therefore it will be important to return and get this(this is the "gimmick"). Once this is done and you're son is in the clear, an injection into the ear of the assailant should take care if things. I prefer the ear as I want them to hear their death coming.

Edit: I just saw the age correction. 3/4 of the antidote "chemical peel" should do the trick. Be strong. Remember that ninja switch I gave you a while back to carry in your pocket? Now is the time. May the schwartz be with you.
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Old 12-23-08, 09:39 AM   #5
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*leaves for mall at ludicrous speed*
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Phobias are for irrational fears. Fear of junk ripping badgers is perfectly rational. Those things are nasty.
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