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Old 12-26-08, 05:20 PM   #1
UnsafeAlpine
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Dear Mr. goat, esq.

What follows is a transcription of a conversation I had with one Mr. p goat, esq.

Quote:
Dear Mr. goat,

I am writing to you to request any and all copies of musical pieces you or your associates have found. I would like for you to send, at my expense of course, to send what you can find in your very busy schedule.

Thank you for your time.

Yours,

Mr. Unsafe Alpine, Sr.
Quote:
Dear Mr. Alpine, Sr.,

My regards to you and your family.

I have not had a chance to confer with my musical associates as of yet. May I inquire as to the purposed use of the requested pieces? My associates and I are very interested in what our music becomes.

Sincerely,

Mr. p goat, esq.
Quote:
My Dear Mr. goat, esq.,

In conjunction with my recent found guitar, I will laze around the fireplace and play cow wrangler's music in an attempt to recapture the sounds of a distant era.

Thank you for your willingness to proceed with this transaction.

Yours,

Mr. Unsafe Alpine, Sr.
Quote:
Dear Mr. Alpine, Sr.,

Your purpose sounds as pleasant as can be. I wish you and yours much luck.

I have not found any cow wrangler's music as of yet, but I have found what I like to refer to as "Wolfpack music." This music comes in two varieties as you will see.

The first I have called "Spicy" or "HTFU" ( an acronym for Help The Finite Ungulates). It consists of Allegro music for those moments when your constitution needs to be helped.

The second I have called "Mild" for those times when a mellow mood might come over you.

I hope you enjoy them.

Sincerely,

Mr. p goat, esq
Quote:
Dear Mr. Alpine, Sr.,

I am unhappy with my original higher speed mix of music. I will be rectifying the situation post haste. I apologize for any inconvenience and hope you do business with us in the future.

Sincerely,

Mr. p goat, esq

P.S. What size shoe do you wear?
Quote:
My Dear Mr. goat, esq.,

Your original music is superb and I look forward to the new mix.

I am curious about your cryptic message however, and I'm hesitant about supplying my shoe size without further knowledge. I hope you appreciate my position.

As always, I will refer your services to others in my position and I very much appreciate all your help.

Yours,

Mr. Unsafe Alpine, Sr.
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Old 12-26-08, 05:23 PM   #2
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yep, that was about it.
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Old 12-26-08, 05:23 PM   #3
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did you get the 'large box'?
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Old 12-26-08, 05:23 PM   #4
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Mr. goat, esq. did not reply about his cryptic message so I was left to ponder the meaning of it.

This is what I found in my mail, today.

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Old 12-26-08, 05:24 PM   #5
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Old 12-26-08, 05:25 PM   #6
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What, I wondered, could be in this large box? I had expected no more than a small digital compact disc.

I slowly, and carefully opened it.


Last edited by UnsafeAlpine; 12-26-08 at 05:43 PM.
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Old 12-26-08, 05:28 PM   #7
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As I slowly opened the lid, I discovered, to my surprise...

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Old 12-26-08, 05:29 PM   #8
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If you got women's black dress shoes, you have to post a pic wearing them.
Oh, get some grown-up scissors too.
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Old 12-26-08, 05:29 PM   #9
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Lo and behold! A pair of black pumps and whats more, in my size!

Well, that's what the label said.

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Old 12-26-08, 05:30 PM   #10
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So, thank you Mr. goat, esq. I know have to explain to my parents, not only the shaved legs, but now why I'm getting black pumps in the mail.
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Old 12-26-08, 05:38 PM   #11
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mr. goat's tastes in pumps is very nice I might add.

btw, your second pic, I can read your address...
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Old 12-26-08, 05:43 PM   #12
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Those shoes would fit better if you weren't wearing goofy white socks with them.

I recommend pink striped socks.
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Old 12-26-08, 05:45 PM   #13
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or some nylon stalkings.

but we all know x136 is all about the stripes.
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Food for thought: if you aren't dead by 2050, you and your entire family will be within a few years from starvation. Now that is a cruel gift to leave for your offspring. ;)
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Old 12-26-08, 05:47 PM   #14
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but we all know x136 is all about the stripes.
**** yes I'm all about the stripes.
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Old 12-26-08, 05:48 PM   #15
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I do have zebra nylon over knee socks that are worth a look.
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Food for thought: if you aren't dead by 2050, you and your entire family will be within a few years from starvation. Now that is a cruel gift to leave for your offspring. ;)
http://sanfrancisco.ibtimes.com/arti...ger-photos.htm
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Old 12-26-08, 06:26 PM   #16
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I see I have wandered into the (presumed lost) Twilight Zone homage unaired episode of The Unusual Suspects.



*wanders away*
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無上甚深微妙法 .... 百千萬劫難遭遇..... 我今見聞得受持
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Old 12-26-08, 06:32 PM   #17
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actually with the strappiness, are they pumps, technically speaking?
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Old 12-26-08, 06:57 PM   #18
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I find this thread to be very revealing, and most enjoyable.
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Old 12-26-08, 07:00 PM   #19
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Thank you Mr. light. If you care to post a most revealing picture in this thread, you are welcome to.
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Old 12-26-08, 07:04 PM   #20
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Big Brother is watching you.

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Old 12-26-08, 07:23 PM   #21
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actually with the strappiness, are they pumps, technically speaking?
You are correct, Mr. Goat. They are not pumps. They are platform sandals (a/k/a "hooker shoes").
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Old 12-26-08, 07:23 PM   #22
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You are correct, Mr. Goat. They are not pumps. They are platform sandals (a/k/a "hooker shoes").
oh good... Even more difficult trying to explain.
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Old 12-26-08, 07:31 PM   #23
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oh good... Even more difficult trying to explain.
It's probably best to not even breach the subject.

"Hey mom, I got some new music and ****-me-pumps today! Check it out! *strut*"
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Old 12-26-08, 07:34 PM   #24
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omfg.
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Old 12-26-08, 07:37 PM   #25
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You are correct, Mr. Goat. They are not pumps. They are platform sandals (a/k/a "hooker shoes").
they're usually prom equipment over here. the prostitutes usually wear the stilettos.
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