I loved her deeply. During those two years she made me change my ways for the better, I learned a lot while I was with her. We never had an argument, she never raised her voice, not one single fight, ever. I felt truly blessed to have her by my side.
But sht happens. She broke up with me (probably my fault, probably not). She offered friendship (classical). But I loved her too much. I knew that if I keep seeing her, talking to her or even getting news about her, I would never let it go. I was going to be on a permanent depression unless I let go of that girl, it was a self-preservation issue.
I did the whole routine, I relocated, changed jobs... the works. But it wasn't enough. We were still talking on the phone every now and then. I was not strong enough as to reject her calls. But it takes two to tango. If I could make her hate me, she will refuse my calls. That could close every communication channel with the ex and I could start my healing process. I had one shoot, one opportunity to hurt her so bad, she will never want to talk to me again. Here I copy pasta what happened from a foo confessions thread:
The plan worked, connection was severed and we never talked again. As expected, she avoided me like the plague. I eventually healed and moved on. But I always felt bad for letting her believe that awful lie.
I wish I could see her now. I want to tell her it was a lie, she was never cheated on, there was no need, she was awesome. I want her to know that. I want to tell her I'm sorry. God knows what happened to that girl's life because of that lie. From all my mistakes, I regret that one the most.
I could probably track her down. Last thing I knew she had an address in MA. I don't know if I should. Should I? Maybe she doesn't care by now. Maybe it would do more harm than good. I don't wanna scare her into thinking I'm a stalker that's still obsessed with her, that's not the case. But I'm afraid that's how it's gonna look like.