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Old 01-08-09, 01:40 PM   #1
MrCrassic 
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God, I feel like absolute crap...

...and I've been feeling like this for the last few weeks now, possibly even slightly before I left my job on the 19th of December. This has been on and off, but I think it's mostly on.

Thankfully, I'm fine physically (or so I think). Unfortunately, I'm definitely not okay mentally or emotionally. I really don't know why this is, or what initiated this state of being, but all that I know is that on most days, I'm very irritable, unmotivated to do anything, let alone ride, and have been unwilling to talk to or visit anyone. It's an overwhelming feeling of apathy that I used to feel when I worked at another job that I absolutely hated a year ago. I didn't like my job towards the end this year, but it was the long-ish commute that prevented me from feeling so gloomy all of the time (though I'm unsure if that has something to do with my current mood).

I really don't want to be like this. I hate being so stoic to people that I love and really care about, or just people in general. I hate being so empty for no damned good reason at all. In fact, I have everything going for me right now. Incredible girlfriend, new semester on its way, all the electronics I could ever need, health, family, enough money to last at least until I get a temporary source of income...nothing to really complain about. I'm usually a very amiable and easy-going person, but these last few days has really shown the darker side of me. I'm trying to kick whatever this is by finding stuff to go so that I can go out again. Tonight, I'm going to a show at some bar in Brooklyn. Initially, I was going to go alone, but I think I'm going to bring my girlfriend (or at least someone) with me. I'm already doing something I'm looking forward to on Saturday, but I might take a nice train trip on Sunday and bring my camera along with me.

Sorry that this was so long. Thanks for reading.
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Old 01-08-09, 01:42 PM   #2
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Vent away my friend... Hope you get an awesome job soon.
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Old 01-08-09, 01:52 PM   #3
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Your girlfriend is going to drop you like a sack of potatoes if you don't change your attitude.
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Old 01-08-09, 01:56 PM   #4
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It gets to us all, even intelligent guys like you crassic. I don't know if you are religious but many find it beneficial to talk to their respective religious leaders in the community.
Hang in there and do take that train ride. Perhaps take a good book with you. Maybe you just need to get away from all that is familliar for a while.
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Old 01-08-09, 01:58 PM   #5
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Your girlfriend is going to drop you like a sack of potatoes if you don't change your attitude.
Yeah, I know that. EVERYONE will drop me if I keep going with that. If it were really that simple to change, then I would have done it already. I'm looking for options.
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Old 01-08-09, 02:00 PM   #6
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It gets to us all, even intelligent guys like you crassic. I don't know if you are religious but many find it beneficial to talk to their respective religious leaders in the community.
Hang in there and do take that train ride. Perhaps take a good book with you. Maybe you just need to get away from all that is familliar for a while.
Thanks for the advice. While not very religious, I've considered talking to my psychologist about this, but I'm holding out at least until school starts to see if it has been just a lack of things to do. Hence the reason why I'm just filing up time with more things to do.
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Old 01-08-09, 02:10 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrCrassic View Post
God, I feel like absolute crap...
Better than feeling like only partial crap. At least your absolute!!!
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- it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.
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Old 01-08-09, 02:13 PM   #8
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Sounds like SADs. You need to get where it's warm and the sun shines.
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Old 01-08-09, 02:15 PM   #9
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^^^

I was thinking that, but it could also be a sign of a lot of things...
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Old 01-08-09, 02:50 PM   #10
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Crassic, thanks for sharing. I think a lot of people are feeling this way, so perhaps it helps to know you're not alone.

Some good thoughts have already been shared here. It seems you don't know the root of your troubles- my hopes that you can find (and fix) them soon- If you continue to feel in a rut much longer, please consider seeking out someone who can really help (a psychologist?)-- you're a great guy, and don't deserve (and don't have to!) feel this way.

I'm thinking happy thoughts for you- hope some of them make it your way.
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Old 01-08-09, 03:32 PM   #11
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Reading that makes me feel like crap. Oh blech.
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