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  1. #1
    Senior Member bryroth's Avatar
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    Have you ever had a bad houseguest? I don't know what to do with this ijit.

    So this isn't my worst story. My worst was when I let the ex come back into my home for what was supposed to be a couple days while she sorted out some issues. Wtf was I thinking with that one?

    Currently, I have an old, dear friend who came up for a visit for a couple days. He's lives about 4 hours away now, but his family is still here in the city. His grandmother is very sick and was recently hospitalized, so he asked if he could just crash for a couple days while he sees how things progressed. Well thank God his grandmother is recovering from cancer surgery now and she has left the hospital.

    Here is the deal. My friend arrived two days early, and let me know today that he has been laid off in his hometown. He tells me that he would like to stay for a few more days to say hi to some of our old friends. What am I going to do, we've known each other for a million years, and so I say ok.

    Well I guess he's having a good time because he let me know that he would like to stay for a few more days. In the meantime, he's trying to rekindle an old flame, and fighting like crazy with the girlfriend he shares a house with back where he lives.

    So the bottom line is that two-day trip has turned into an 11-day trip, and I'm starting to feel like a sucker. The funny thing is that this friend has always been a classy guy before. I don't know where this trashy behaviour is coming from.

    So tell me folks, what would you do? The situation is actually far more awkward then I would have imagined it would be. If someone had come to me with this problem last week I would just say, what is the problem? You're both grown men, tell him what you want and he'll respect you for it and you'll get your house back. But it's not so easy somehow.

    Give me some advice, please. But MORE IMPORTANTLY, has this ever happened to you? Does anyone out there have any bad houseguest stories to ease my pain?

  2. #2
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    YES, OMG YES!!!!

    I used to be a regular church boy (before I gave it up for lent ). A friend and deacon asked me if another guy who was having martial trouble could stay with me for a while. You're a single guy with a 3 bedroom place...lots of room, right? Like a sucker, I agree.

    I was putting this guy in my spare room which was also where all my wall bookshelves were. I was a little afraid he might walk off with some of my books. 5 minutes after meeting him that was no longer a worry. I didn't think he'd read a book since comics in 7th grade. He was a regular old dumb as a rock "good ol' boy".

    First few things I learned about the guy were some hygene habits that needed to be nipped in the bud because they weren't going to happen in MY HOUSE. He dipped (dipping tobacco like skoal). He'd put a paper cup down and spit into it and leave it all over the house. Sometimes it would soak through cup and on to table. I also found after his first shower that he just grabbed the bar of soap and went to town. I didn't appreciate the pubes in my bar of soap. I'd hear him grunting over a major dump in the bathroom, then never hear the sink run to wash hands as he'd come out and head to fridge for something to eat. Yeah......after week 1, he got to use the guest bathroom and NOT MINE.

    He was on the outs with his wife for cheating on her and getting caught. He had a 4 year old son that came over every other weekend while he and his wife were separated. He also had a 7 year old from a previous marriage that he'd lost from cheating on his wife that came over.

    He'd bring them in on Saturday mornings and not leave the house. I worked graveyard shift, so came home and slept. I asked him if he could take them out for a while Saturday mornings or at least try to be quiet so I could sleep for a while. He'd apologize, yet every Saturday they were there they'd be loud and crazy all morning throwing things int he house, getting my dog worked up and playing and barking, etc.... Once they were even thrown a baseball around in the house, breaking things, getting my dog (lab who slobbered bad) to fetch the ball. It was my GAME BALL that all my team mates had signed from my most memorable moment as a kid. What kind of idiot takes a baseball out of a trophy case type holder to play fetch with the dog?

    OMG was this guy an ass hat.

    He'd claim he wanted to fix things with his wife and get things back on track with her, but when she'd call for anything he'd push her buttons and bait her into a fight. I'd hear him with my own ears filling their son's head with garbage like, "Did you like the beach today? I'll bet mom doesn't take you fun places like that, does she?".

    Then one day after all this claiming he wanted to get back with his wife, he comes home and says he met this woman while pumping gas and "got her phone number". "Did she offer it to you?", I ask. Well, not exactly, I did ask, but because she was nice. I could use a friend right now, he'd say. Do you think I should call her up and go out, as friends of course? I'd say, "how stupid are you, dude?"

    The last straw was when a phone message was left on my machine from some lady attempting to use a super sexy voice saying she was RETURNING MY CALL. I called back to ask who she was (thankfully she left her number). She said she was from a mobile massage business called HOT REFERRALS and I had called her (at least my phone had). I looked it up on internet a few years later (this was before intenet was very prevalent and populated) and it was a well known prostitution ring in the area at the time.

    Anyway, that was the last straw. This guy actually made decent money (though he stiffed me on meager rent I charged him a few months in a row), so I told him it was time to get his own place.

    Never even heard from him again.

    Wow...look how long that turned out to be. Years of unvented anger pent up?
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  3. #3
    Senior Member bryroth's Avatar
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    Wow. Thanks for your story man. You've earned some good karma there.

  4. #4
    On my TARDIScycle! KingTermite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bryroth View Post
    Wow. Thanks for your story man. You've earned some good karma there.
    No prob. Glad I could ease your pain a little.
    Quote Originally Posted by coffeecake View Post
    - it's pretty well established that Hitler was an *******.

  5. #5
    Seņor Member USAZorro's Avatar
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    advice - just straight up tell him. "You're my friend, you were welcome to stay for a few days, but you need to get back on with your life." Tomorrow, you need to move on.
    The search for inner peace continues...

  6. #6
    Administrator Allen's Avatar
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    "Fish and company start to sink after three days."
    --Ben Franklin

  7. #7
    Senior Member bryroth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oakback View Post
    My best/oldest friend wanted to stay with us while he tried to find another place to live... There's no easy way to do it, just get him out.
    Thanks for the story. Yeah, I'm afraid he doesn't value the friendship as much as he does drinking expensive beer with his unemployment check. But instead of showing a little intrinsic respect for our friendship, he is pulling a "suicide by cop"-type stunt by making me push him out until the friendship is ruined. Kind of like you were saying above. I think some people just know how to look out for themselves. Oh well, I guess all you can do is put your best foot forward before you stoop down to the level of the person who is picking a fight with you.

  8. #8
    Not safe for work cyclokitty's Avatar
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    I had a friend who fought with everyone she ever lived with ask if she could stay at my place for a week while she looked for new roomies (victims). I live in a tiny one bedroom with my husband -- where would I put her? How long before I tore her throat out for doing something irritating (an hour, at best)? For the sake of our friendship I said no dice. She didn't speak to me for 4 months because I was inconsiderate. I figured I was being most considerate to my marriage not having her here. It wasn't for safety reasons that she needed a place to stay, and she could well afford a hotel, and if she acted like a grown up her mother would've been happy to have her back.

    I suggest telling your friend he has until whatever day you think best to leave. You need to get back to normal, and your friend needs HTFU.


  9. #9
    Look! My Spine! RubenX's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllenG View Post
    "Fish and company start to sink after three days."
    --Ben Franklin
    +1

    Regardless of who it is, this rule never fails.

  10. #10
    Senior Member MrCrassic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bryroth View Post
    So this isn't my worst story. My worst was when I let the ex come back into my home for what was supposed to be a couple days while she sorted out some issues. Wtf was I thinking with that one?

    Currently, I have an old, dear friend who came up for a visit for a couple days. He's lives about 4 hours away now, but his family is still here in the city. His grandmother is very sick and was recently hospitalized, so he asked if he could just crash for a couple days while he sees how things progressed. Well thank God his grandmother is recovering from cancer surgery now and she has left the hospital.

    Here is the deal. My friend arrived two days early, and let me know today that he has been laid off in his hometown. He tells me that he would like to stay for a few more days to say hi to some of our old friends. What am I going to do, we've known each other for a million years, and so I say ok.

    Well I guess he's having a good time because he let me know that he would like to stay for a few more days. In the meantime, he's trying to rekindle an old flame, and fighting like crazy with the girlfriend he shares a house with back where he lives.

    So the bottom line is that two-day trip has turned into an 11-day trip, and I'm starting to feel like a sucker. The funny thing is that this friend has always been a classy guy before. I don't know where this trashy behaviour is coming from.

    So tell me folks, what would you do? The situation is actually far more awkward then I would have imagined it would be. If someone had come to me with this problem last week I would just say, what is the problem? You're both grown men, tell him what you want and he'll respect you for it and you'll get your house back. But it's not so easy somehow.

    Give me some advice, please. But MORE IMPORTANTLY, has this ever happened to you? Does anyone out there have any bad houseguest stories to ease my pain?
    Kick.

    He might be a good friend and all, but if he's starting trouble and is way overextending his stay, then why is he still there?
    Ride more.

    Code:
    $ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
     $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces

  11. #11
    Senior Member MrCrassic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
    YES, OMG YES!!!!

    I used to be a regular church boy (before I gave it up for lent ). A friend and deacon asked me if another guy who was having martial trouble could stay with me for a while. You're a single guy with a 3 bedroom place...lots of room, right? Like a sucker, I agree.

    I was putting this guy in my spare room which was also where all my wall bookshelves were. I was a little afraid he might walk off with some of my books. 5 minutes after meeting him that was no longer a worry. I didn't think he'd read a book since comics in 7th grade. He was a regular old dumb as a rock "good ol' boy".

    First few things I learned about the guy were some hygene habits that needed to be nipped in the bud because they weren't going to happen in MY HOUSE. He dipped (dipping tobacco like skoal). He'd put a paper cup down and spit into it and leave it all over the house. Sometimes it would soak through cup and on to table. I also found after his first shower that he just grabbed the bar of soap and went to town. I didn't appreciate the pubes in my bar of soap. I'd hear him grunting over a major dump in the bathroom, then never hear the sink run to wash hands as he'd come out and head to fridge for something to eat. Yeah......after week 1, he got to use the guest bathroom and NOT MINE.

    He was on the outs with his wife for cheating on her and getting caught. He had a 4 year old son that came over every other weekend while he and his wife were separated. He also had a 7 year old from a previous marriage that he'd lost from cheating on his wife that came over.

    He'd bring them in on Saturday mornings and not leave the house. I worked graveyard shift, so came home and slept. I asked him if he could take them out for a while Saturday mornings or at least try to be quiet so I could sleep for a while. He'd apologize, yet every Saturday they were there they'd be loud and crazy all morning throwing things int he house, getting my dog worked up and playing and barking, etc.... Once they were even thrown a baseball around in the house, breaking things, getting my dog (lab who slobbered bad) to fetch the ball. It was my GAME BALL that all my team mates had signed from my most memorable moment as a kid. What kind of idiot takes a baseball out of a trophy case type holder to play fetch with the dog?

    OMG was this guy an ass hat.

    He'd claim he wanted to fix things with his wife and get things back on track with her, but when she'd call for anything he'd push her buttons and bait her into a fight. I'd hear him with my own ears filling their son's head with garbage like, "Did you like the beach today? I'll bet mom doesn't take you fun places like that, does she?".

    Then one day after all this claiming he wanted to get back with his wife, he comes home and says he met this woman while pumping gas and "got her phone number". "Did she offer it to you?", I ask. Well, not exactly, I did ask, but because she was nice. I could use a friend right now, he'd say. Do you think I should call her up and go out, as friends of course? I'd say, "how stupid are you, dude?"

    The last straw was when a phone message was left on my machine from some lady attempting to use a super sexy voice saying she was RETURNING MY CALL. I called back to ask who she was (thankfully she left her number). She said she was from a mobile massage business called HOT REFERRALS and I had called her (at least my phone had). I looked it up on internet a few years later (this was before intenet was very prevalent and populated) and it was a well known prostitution ring in the area at the time.

    Anyway, that was the last straw. This guy actually made decent money (though he stiffed me on meager rent I charged him a few months in a row), so I told him it was time to get his own place.

    Never even heard from him again.

    Wow...look how long that turned out to be. Years of unvented anger pent up?
    Damn. It's almost a good thing I don't let people stay at my place.

    Anyway, I have a story of my own. When I was in 7th grade, I moved to New Jersey, but left a good friend behind. Like friends do, I wanted him to come over and check out the place, so my parents let him stay overnight.

    He was a bit obscene, but nothing bad enough to recall. We even played Pokemon at night with the Game Link (because you had to have the Game Link).

    As he was leaving in the morning, I go to my room where I left my Game Boy last. It was gone. I searched high and low for it, to no avail. Just before he left, I asked him if he had my Game Boy by accident. Turns out that he did...but definitely not by accident. In fact, his Game Boy was right next to mine in his bag! There's one thing of giving people benefit of the doubt, but this was clearly his chance to leave with my stuff.

    I talked to him several years later by coincidence, and have not spoken or seen him for several years since.
    Ride more.

    Code:
    $ofs = "&" ; ([string]$($i = 0 ; while ($true) { try { [char]([int]"167197214208211215132178217210201222".substring($i,3) - 100) ; $i =
     $i+3 > catch { break >>)).replace('&','') ; $ofs=" " # Replace right angles with right curly braces

  12. #12
    later free_pizza's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bryroth View Post
    ijit
    Ijit?!


    It is spelled "Eejit".

  13. #13
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    A female friend of mine had to get rid of a male "friend of a friend" boarder who just wouldn't take repeated "leave NOW" demands for an answer. When the boarder was relieved of his house key, he still got in via a copy he made. Even worse, he would bring dates to that place.

    So my friend just changed the alarm code. He comes in with a date to her place, alarm goes off, and he gets picked up by the police investigating the call. Friend of mine tells the cop that he was told to leave and not come back.

    The criminal trespass charge got rid of the boarder for good.

  14. #14
    Pwnerer Wordbiker's Avatar
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    I extended my graciousness once...

    Two guys from California wished to check out the area for work. One was a married carpenter "friend" that I'd worked with for many years, the other was a married friend of his that I'd never met. They asked for meager housing, and my shop is what they got. It was insulated and had power run out to it, but is still little more than a glorified 10'x20' shed. When they moved in I had a talk with both of them.

    The talk was my one rule: Since my family also lived here, you are welcome to stay as long as necessary, just don't show up late at night, make too much noise, or disturb my family. The shop is 35' from the house so it wasn't much of an issue.

    I helped these guys find work, and in exchange they produced little to nothing. I'd show up in the middle of the day to find they'd accomplished nothing since they'd just showed up on the job. The first step was telling them they'd have to find other employment. They eventually did, but still lived in the shop, typically drinking their days and nights away.

    The next step was the breaking of Rule #1...the only rule. One night at about 2AM I was awoken by my wife regarding the car headlights shining directly into our bedroom window. I'm notoriously hard to wake, but the lights persisted long enough for her to badger me into getting dressed, putting on shoes, finding a maglite and walking outside to rap on the window of the strange vehicle parked in the driveway. The look of utter surprise told me there was no clue that shining their highbeams into my bedroom was a disturbance. Inside I saw my married "friend" making out with a strange barfly woman. I just shook my head and told him we'd need to have a talk in the morning once he'd sobered up.

    When we did talk, I was calm and said that no rush, but he'd have to find a new place to live. I was as empathetic to his situation as I know how to be, but was firm that this had to happen within a reasonable timeframe. He agreed and I went to work.

    When I came home, all their stuff was gone, no note...and neither one would answer my calls. Not the exact result I had asked for, but at least I'd stood up for my family.

    It was months before I heard from my brother and cousin again.
    Quote Originally Posted by ahsposo View Post
    Ski, bike and wish I was gay.

  15. #15
    K2ProFlex baby! ilikebikes's Avatar
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    Ill keep it short and sweet. My sister in law and her two kids stayed at my place for about 4 months before I tossed her out kids and all! Not even a days notice! (unless you count the very day I tossed her out?) Sounds mean? Well you dont know my sister in law!
    You see, their morals, their code...it's a bad joke, dropped at the first sign of trouble. They're only as good as the world allows them to be. I'll show you. When the chips are down, these...These "civilized" people...they'll eat each other. See, I'm not a monster. I'm just ahead of the curve

  16. #16
    Senior Member bryroth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wordbiker View Post
    ...It was months before I heard from my brother and cousin again.
    Damn, now that is an inspiration.

  17. #17
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    Had a friend stay with me and my dad over spring break once (so he could stalk an ex-gf but I didn't know that at the time). I went back to school; apparently he didn't. He was sending emails and things, but not from school--I get a call from my dad a week later and the guy was still at my dad's house! I didn't see him all that much on campus anyway, so I didn't notice he wasn't around. Apparently, the guy left a window open in a room to get in and out of the house. A month later, my dad got a phone bill for $300 as the friend was calling sex lines all week.

    My dad used to find crazy houseguests. He had one guy live with him for a few days who would freebase in the bathroom and almost started the place on fire.

    Another guest would find wild animals (squirrels, birds, etc) and keep them in his room, sometimes uncaged. My dad kicked the guy out and he took a dump all over the living room--no joke. He cut up all the electronics, too, but he was dumb about it and I was able to fix it all. He stole things right in front of my dad's eyes but still denied it. Same guy was finally arrested at a pizza place for trying to break into all of the cash registers. That was the scariest one.

  18. #18
    Gears? CliftonGK1's Avatar
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    Teabag him while he's asleep and snap a couple Polaroids of the act in progress.
    Leave the pix and this note next to him in his bed:

    "I will do this every night until you pack up your crap and leave."


    He either leaves, or you've got a new boyfriend. Win-Win.
    "I feel like my world was classier before I found cyclocross."
    - Mandi M.

  19. #19
    Senior Member bryroth's Avatar
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    Ok, everything seems so clear now. I just got the inspiration I needed to get this guy out of here.

    Last night I stayed at my girlfriend's house because I've got a fever and she is nursing me back to health because she is sweet like that.

    I get home this morning, my shower towel is all wet, which is gross. So I grabbed a new one, no biggie. Then just now, at work, I get this text message:

    "[Name of his ex-girlfriend] came over last night and we drank all your beer. Would you like any for tonight?"

    I don't buy the cheap stuff. He is so gone.

  20. #20
    Administrator Allen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bryroth View Post
    Ok, everything seems so clear now. I just got the inspiration I needed to get this guy out of here.

    Last night I stayed at my girlfriend's house because I've got a fever and she is nursing me back to health because she is sweet like that.

    I get home this morning, my shower towel is all wet, which is gross. So I grabbed a new one, no biggie. Then just now, at work, I get this text message:

    "[Name of his ex-girlfriend] came over last night and we drank all your beer. Would you like any for tonight?"

    I don't buy the cheap stuff. He is so gone.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by bryroth View Post
    Ok, everything seems so clear now. I just got the inspiration I needed to get this guy out of here.

    Last night I stayed at my girlfriend's house because I've got a fever and she is nursing me back to health because she is sweet like that.

    I get home this morning, my shower towel is all wet, which is gross. So I grabbed a new one, no biggie. Then just now, at work, I get this text message:

    "[Name of his ex-girlfriend] came over last night and we drank all your beer. Would you like any for tonight?"

    I don't buy the cheap stuff. He is so gone.
    That's almost a declaration of war. If people drink someone else's beer, they have the obligation to replace it. Especially if its real beer (as opposed to Bud or Coors.)

  22. #22
    Senior Member Falchoon's Avatar
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    When I was younger I lived in a shared house with a couple of other guys. I was getting sick of my food going missing from the fridge so I played a prank to get pay the food thief back. I bought some laxeitives that looked exactly like a regular (pun intended!) chocolate bar. I left them in the fridge and knew they would go missing. I came home from work and sure enough they had gone! There was a housefull of people so I asked at the top of my voice "who had taken my chocolate laxitives that were in the fridge" and one guy (not the suspected food thief but a friend of his) owned up and reckons he had spent the day on the toilet and had to go again!
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

  23. #23
    unaangalia nini? baiskeli's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KingTermite View Post
    YES, OMG YES!!!!

    I used to be a regular church boy (before I gave it up for lent ). A friend and deacon asked me if another guy who was having martial trouble could stay with me for a while. You're a single guy with a 3 bedroom place...lots of room, right? Like a sucker, I agree.

    I was putting this guy in my spare room which was also where all my wall bookshelves were. I was a little afraid he might walk off with some of my books. 5 minutes after meeting him that was no longer a worry. I didn't think he'd read a book since comics in 7th grade. He was a regular old dumb as a rock "good ol' boy".

    First few things I learned about the guy were some hygene habits that needed to be nipped in the bud because they weren't going to happen in MY HOUSE. He dipped (dipping tobacco like skoal). He'd put a paper cup down and spit into it and leave it all over the house. Sometimes it would soak through cup and on to table. I also found after his first shower that he just grabbed the bar of soap and went to town. I didn't appreciate the pubes in my bar of soap. I'd hear him grunting over a major dump in the bathroom, then never hear the sink run to wash hands as he'd come out and head to fridge for something to eat. Yeah......after week 1, he got to use the guest bathroom and NOT MINE.

    He was on the outs with his wife for cheating on her and getting caught. He had a 4 year old son that came over every other weekend while he and his wife were separated. He also had a 7 year old from a previous marriage that he'd lost from cheating on his wife that came over.

    He'd bring them in on Saturday mornings and not leave the house. I worked graveyard shift, so came home and slept. I asked him if he could take them out for a while Saturday mornings or at least try to be quiet so I could sleep for a while. He'd apologize, yet every Saturday they were there they'd be loud and crazy all morning throwing things int he house, getting my dog worked up and playing and barking, etc.... Once they were even thrown a baseball around in the house, breaking things, getting my dog (lab who slobbered bad) to fetch the ball. It was my GAME BALL that all my team mates had signed from my most memorable moment as a kid. What kind of idiot takes a baseball out of a trophy case type holder to play fetch with the dog?

    OMG was this guy an ass hat.

    He'd claim he wanted to fix things with his wife and get things back on track with her, but when she'd call for anything he'd push her buttons and bait her into a fight. I'd hear him with my own ears filling their son's head with garbage like, "Did you like the beach today? I'll bet mom doesn't take you fun places like that, does she?".

    Then one day after all this claiming he wanted to get back with his wife, he comes home and says he met this woman while pumping gas and "got her phone number". "Did she offer it to you?", I ask. Well, not exactly, I did ask, but because she was nice. I could use a friend right now, he'd say. Do you think I should call her up and go out, as friends of course? I'd say, "how stupid are you, dude?"

    The last straw was when a phone message was left on my machine from some lady attempting to use a super sexy voice saying she was RETURNING MY CALL. I called back to ask who she was (thankfully she left her number). She said she was from a mobile massage business called HOT REFERRALS and I had called her (at least my phone had). I looked it up on internet a few years later (this was before intenet was very prevalent and populated) and it was a well known prostitution ring in the area at the time.

    Anyway, that was the last straw. This guy actually made decent money (though he stiffed me on meager rent I charged him a few months in a row), so I told him it was time to get his own place.

    Never even heard from him again.

    Wow...look how long that turned out to be. Years of unvented anger pent up?
    Jesus H Christ! I'll never complain again. That is just absolutely terrible. You must have the patience of a saint.

  24. #24
    Who farted? Ka_Jun's Avatar
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    Wow...just, wow. We had a boarder for a few months during the summer. One of those college kids w/ the helicopter parents, so she didn't know how to do anything by herself. Got old real fast.

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